I feel so happy/sad. Funeral was, er, 'great'!

[newlifenewname]

Will add more in the morning but further to my thread regarding not being able to eulogise at the funeral I can report that the funeral was wonderfully, wonderfully healing. Had really good chats with friends and M's mother was so brave and so kind and generous to all M's friends.

She was in bits but tried so hard to make this the funeral her son would have wanted.

Yes she did some terrible things but today I think she tried to put some of that right.

I am in awe at the love and respect shown today.

I managed to bravely suggest a friend's remembrance celebration and everyone was hugely enthusiastic so thank you so much mumsnetters for helping me find a way forward the other day.

Very sad day of course but I have come away feeling

Glad it went so well, newlife.

So glad it all went ok-how was the journey?

I know you were dreading the day; I'm glad it went well.

I'm glad it went well.

I'm so glad the day was 'good' for all.

Hi Whooosh! Hi all!

Journey was fine, no argy bargy, talked about M lots and were quite supportive of each other

The service was religious but not heavily so and the priest person (vicar?) was a family friend and was visibly upset (a shame for him but obv. made it a lot more personal and special than someone anonymous saying stuff about someone they don't know).

Music was chosen by M's best friend so was v. appropriate... Barber's Adagio going in and Miles Davis So What on the way out.

Even though M lived a fairly solitary public life - conducting most of his friendships by phone due to agoraphobia, he had friends from babyhood, 6th form, University and adulthood there which was lovely. We all spent ages afterwards talking about our friend, honestly, with humour and sadly - it was very helpful to do that.

We are all going to hopefully be at his flat (big thing I wanted to do because I want to visualise him there once more as a final goodbye, on the phone chatting to me!) on Saturday to sort through his things to help his mum and also as her wish was that we all have whatever we wanted as our thing to remember M by.

Couldn't have wished for things to be 'better' really.

Thanks for all the support here.

I am so pleased it went well

NLNN, have followed your threads on your friend and I am so pleased that the funeral went well. I think you show remarkable strength of character and generosity of spirit to be able to respond to his mum in the way you did - so many people would not have been prepared to see her "good side". Am so glad it was a healing experience and hope that your visit to his flat is equally helpful to you and all his friends.