Childcare experts

[Jbr]

I hate Melissa Hill with a passion! Her website is horrendous. She keeps saying that women can't be good workers and parents and we should do one of the other. And she says that children don't feel loved if a parent (usually the woman, in her words) isn't with them.

Your friend should read at least two baby books, just to see that no one book is infallible.

Rozzy, is that book also called Do not Disturb, if so I have had it on order for months from Amazon and was about to give up, but I'll hang on if it's worth it?

Oh and definately Becoming a Mother,which I had completely forgotten and may re-read!

Emmagee, I have a copy of Do not Disturb by Deborah Jackson, you can borrow/buy it if you like. It is out of print now as far as I know. But you are welcome to mine

I read Penelope Leach avidly when I was pregnant and when my dd was first born, but I've not opened it since she was about 6 months old. It was great for getting excited about new baby and things, but it didn't have any answers to any of the things I wanted to know, and I couldn't help feeling a bit betrayed. On another thread entitled "Newborn baby who cries & feeds constantly, feeling knackered, what should I do" (I paraphrase, but you get the picture) someone talked about how the books said the baby would sit quietly while you peel potatoes (they don't) - that was Penelope Leach.

The best one I found for entertainment and practical advice of a more general nature was "How not to be a perfect Mother" which somebody else already mentioned. Also, the best bfeeding book I read was the NCT one. Find out if your friend wants to bf though - it's something I'd love to get for my best friend, but we've already argued over the merit of bfeeding and she's not even pregnant yet.

Like Crunchie I just got the magazines. I liked the regular picture updates of what your baby looks like and lots of little snippet information. I liked the breastfeeding book by the nct, which is written with real comments by mums.

The ones I enjoyed have already been mentioned - What to Expect during the first 12 Months I thought was really helpful. And the Best Friends Guide was hilarous, despite being American.

Personally, I hated the magazines and their picture-by-picture guide to everything. I remember in the early days trying to bath newborn ds with magazine in hand trying to following the pictures and instructions and being totally paranoid about doing it exactly as shown - how mad was that!

I'd go for What to Expect for exhaustive detail; Libby Purves (How not to be ...) for laughs; Kate Figes (I agree, not when pregnant) is brilliant if she has a bad time adjusting to the joys of parenthood; and yes, I liked Kate Mosse too. Lots of stories in it. As you can now see, I read EVERYTHING, and even the magazines ... some of us are just obsessives! I guess the more you read, the more ideas you get and then you'll find your own style ...

Not Kate Figes! Easily one of the most depressing books I have ever read, with very little positive and/or practical advice.

What to Expect is very useful and Raising Happy Children is lovely.

Oh, and (ducks), the Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford.

I'd second Enid - will that surprise anyone out there ????
More seriously the CLBB is a book I have offered to several mums to be... but I'd only give it if the expectant mum likes to be organised/in control sort of person (I think)... otherwise she might hate the tone of the book. Aside from the dreaded (by some) routines, there are loads of very valuable advice. And 2 of my colleagues have written me big thank you letters for the book... so some do love it ! ;-)

Hmm.. I have an entire bookshelf of pregnancy/childcare books.

Another vote for 'Raising Happy Children' as a general child raising book, with the CLBB as a useful book for the first 6 months of babyhood - not for the routines but for the vast amount of information on eating, sleeping, weaning etc.
I loved my penelope leach during pregnancy but the 'introduce your baby to a potato and he'll gurgle with delight' style advice was not at all helpful once I had my little monster.
Best of all - forget the books and spend some time reading Mumsnet - the source of all the best advice I've had! Some things eg. mixed feeding, just don't seem to be covered in books yet loads of mums know about/do them.

For pregnancy info I liked 'What to Expect..' especially for the 'In this month you may suffer from...' summaries as I could tick off the list!
but I haven't lent my copy to any pregnant friends as I can see that, if all is going well, it could be a bit scarey.
Also the Miriam Stoppard 'From conception to Birth' I liked as an easy reading/ easy to find things book.

For light relief 'How not to be a perfect mother' and 'the best friend's guide' can be quite funny.

Oh well, I've read the lot and I still have little idea of what I'm doing! I just borrow a phrase from an old thread on mumsnet 'I'm his mummy and of course, he'll love me' then grit my teeth and do something.

How about Sheila Kitzinger (a bit right on but some great mum-friendly advice) and a parenting book a friend lent me called Pyjamas don't matter which is excellent - suggests a sensible and relaxed attitude to parenting - don't know if it's still in print though.

The negative reaction to Kate Figes has made me re-visit it and see what was bothering so many and I think that yes, it can be depressing and I do remember finding the final section daunting when I was pregnant first time, but on re-reading , she clearly sets out her reason for writing the book. She felt that there were no books which dealt with the realities of being a mother. Lots of books deal with pregnancy and childbirth as if that's all there is and then other parenting books deal with how to solve problems (sleep etc) or diagnose illness, her book goes beyond that to look at the profound changes that occur both physically and mentally and to help us to see that many of the extreme emotions we feel as mothers, love, hate, anger, joy, pain.....which we all explore here frequently, are normal.
She says in the first chapter, 'Childbirth is just the beginning of a process not the end' and I think that when you are pregnant it's worth knowing that you need to prepare for what happens beyond labour.

Does anyone have any good ideas on books for your toddler that explain the arrival of a new baby??

I know there is another thread which covers this too, but I loved 'There's a House in mummy's tummy', can't remember the author, but a search on Amazon will tell you.

pop, absolutely lovely book called "za za's baby brother" All the cast are zebras...Can't remember the author. Probably quite cheap as it's a big floppy book.
One line I remember
"Mummy has a baby in her tummy. There isn't much room for a cuddle..." Ah, makes me quite teary!