help needed with words for a condolences card

[gothicmama]

Please can you help me I ahve been struggling to write a symphathy card for a woman I was once good friends a long time ago recently we saw each other again but as sort of nodding and say hello - last week her son (a miracle baby) was killed whilst she was with him in an accident and I am really upset as are alot my other friends and I don't know how to word the card or even if she remembers me but I would like to sned a card - Thank you

I know it seems you're all alone
No one to really care,
With such a heavy burden
That you alone must bear.
I may not know just what to say
Nor exactly what to do,
But you may be assured that I'm
praying just for you.
So even though it seems that many
storm clouds fill your day,
I know the Lord has heard my prayer,
and help is on the way.

How about

'I'm not sure if you will remember who I am, but that is not important. I have heard the news about xxxx and I wanted you to know that you are very much in my thoughts at this terribly sad time.

My phone number is xxxx, please call me at any time if there is any thing I can do to help, or better still just for a chat about xxx and all that he meant to you. I'm sad that I never got a proper chance to get to know your child, but I am sure that he will have left many happy memories of his short life with those that know and love him.

With much love xxxxxx'

message withdrawn

write from the heart. when a close friend died i found the following really helpful, still do, it also depends on whether your friend has a religion -
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there I do not sleep
I am in a thousand winds that blow
I am the softly falling snow
I am the gentle showers of rain
I am the fields of ripening grain
I am in the morning hush
I am in the graceful rush
of beautiful birds in circling flight
I am the starshine of the night
I am in the flowers that bloom
I am in a quiet room
I am the birds that sing
I am in each gentle thing
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die
author Mary E Frye (native american sources)
if you feel able i would go over in person just to offer support, make a meal, help in anyway you can - too often we are embarrased by grief and it can leave the person grieving very lonely.
this must be absolutely heartbreaking for her, massive hug xx

ooh dont put a poem in as davros said they can be incredibly trite - I cnat imagine some poem could help me if my dsses were killed.

just keep it shorta dn sweet

gothicmama, I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't think you could improve on Soapbox's perfect, simple, lovely message.
Good of you to write to her, I am sure it will mean a lot. Maybe not right now, but she may well keep letters and cards and they can be a great solace in the future.

Oh btw dotn say " is there anything I can do"
apparently its one of the biggest cliches int he land
my dad ( retd vicar) says dont offer just do it
judt turn up

gothic - thats really sad, I think any of the suggestions would be perfect, maybe a poem would seem trite but might provide comfort when she reads it again and she's probably not in the frame of mind to truly appreciate any message, however 'trite' or not it is. The important thing will be that you thought of her and wanted to help, which will be shown regardless of what words you use.

What I found comforting when my mum died was to hear about other people's memories of her - no matter how fleeting. You might write something like 'whenever I saw you together you always looked so happy, the way he held onto your hand, the obvious bond between you. It was always such a pleasure to see you together'
I know it sounds a bit emotional but I appreciated knowing what my mum had meant to other people. Hope that helps - by the way I think it's really good that you want to write and the only problem with poems is that you do get alot of them and they become a bit repetitive and impersonal -just my view. What a terrible, terrible thing to happen

Agree completely with Welshmum - I think a personal memory is the most precious thing. Cards and letters are sometimes things people put aside at first, and only read later when they are feeling a bit stronger - and at that point something vivid, personal and real can be a huge comfort. (Also, if you do put your number and suggest a chat, if she is putting things aside, that may mean you'll hear from her quite long after.)

The poor poor woman.

Thank you everyone for helping particularily soapbox who has written what I am been trying to write but in a much more coherent way I will also put about how lovely I thought xx was - do you think that will be ok

I think it would be spot on just as Soapbox has worded it.

Gothicmama, Ive only just found this. It is sad when a little life soo special is blown out. Very thoughtful off you to reach out to her , any words of love and thought will be a wonderful thing to receive. Im just writing dds 1st birhtday card and thiking what a miracle she has been to me. Id like to think that his mum was given some special time in her life not to forget and that she was also blessed with a gift if only short lived.