Relocating to New York

[diddledee]

Anyone got any suggestions where would be a good place to live within easy reach of Manhattan with 1 yr old and 3 yr old (moving from SW London)?

Friends of ours live in Darien CT, which is about 45 mins from Central Station by train. It's a really sweet town which is increadibly family oriented and has very good state schools (it is supposed to be the model for Stepford Wives though, so perhaps too perfect ). It's on the coast and has a couple of nice town beaches and lots and lots of play groups etc.

Should have said our friends lived in Manhattan until they had their second child but they both still work in Manhattan.

hey diddledee

by coicidence my friend is relocating to New York as well (from North London), she's off in january, and she also has a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
They are off house hunting for 2 weeks in late October so I shall be watching to see what other replies you get to pass to her if that's okay.

mckenzie
well, that does sound a coincidence - i'm off next week to house hunt for 4 days... so i'll let you know how that goes in case of any use for your friend

First of all, what's your definition of within easy reach of Manhattan?

It also depends a lot on your budget.

If you'd like an urban area there are some nice parts of Queens and Brooklyn (I don't know too much about that area though). Jersey City and Hoboken in New Jersey are very close and there are some really nice apartments etc. Pretty pricey though, and more likely to be young childless people.

A bit further out into the suburbs, I used to live in Westfield, New Jersey, in Union County, which is a lovely town full of families and really good schools. The commute to the city is about 75 minutes. Other nice Jersey suburbs are Summit and Chatham. Nearer the Jersey shore there are some nice communities which are not too far from the city - Middletown, Red Bank, Rumson.

Westchester is the county immediately north of the city and it's big commuter country. A long time ago I lived in Ossining, but that's northern Westchester and the commute from there is starting to get a little long. I had friends who lived in Rye and loved it.

Then as bran said there's Connecticut; Greenwich, Norwalk, Darian.

If you provide a bit more information about what you're looking for I'd be happy to give you more opinions.

Kateandthegirls
I think we're looking for something within an hour of Wall Street. My husband's company are renting property for us (it's only for 2 years). We are worried about being to far into suburbia and not really experiencing New York.. but having said that we currently live in London suburbia, and I would rather live in a house with a big (ish) garden and local toddler groups and classes to meet people. Actually, we are feeling completely lost at the moment as we really don't know anything at all about New York and its surroundings - but we're going to have to make quick decisions! thanks for your comments

It's a bit dull but I found that when we moved to Berlin it was easiest to live where most of dh's colleagues lived (the sort-term foreign contractors, not the Germans who were quite widely scattered). So perhaps your dh could ask a selection of colleagues who have young children where they live, and where they would move to if they had the opportunity

our problem is that the move is confidential at the moment - so we have very limited people we can talk to in Manhattan at the moment

Hmmm, that does make things harder. Hopefully the company will pay for a good professional re-locator, so you can give him/her all your requirements and they will be able to suggest locations for you.

Very, very exciting. I'm getting itchy feet in London and would love a move for a couple of years.

We lived in Nassau County on Long Island for 3 years, 2 of them childless and the last with DD1, from birth to 15 months. Where we were (Great Neck) was just over the border from Queens and an easy commute into Manhattan. Loads of ordinary families in our neighbourhood but also seriously rich private-security-guard neighbourhoods just down the road.

There are some lovely family communities in Nassau County - but there are also some in Queens and Brooklyn, which are much nearer to Manhattan. Have no idea how they all compare price-wise but as your DH's company is paying presumably you don't need to worry about that.

I worked for a while in the WTC and used to get the Long Island Rail Road (LIRR) in every morning, it only took about 30 mins IIRC though then had to get the subway from Penn Station down to Wall Street. I think the whole trip probably was about an hour.

You could consider all of Queens and Brooklyn, Staten Island, most of Nassau County, much of NJ as mentioned by Kate, most of Westchester too and the bottom bit of Connecticut. They all have nice family neighbourhoods.

Doesn't narrow it down for you though does it?

We loved living there. Hope you all enjoy it!

Hi diddledee. I have to agree with Kate - Chatham and Summit and the other surrounding towns are lovely, I live there! It is fantastic for families around here, good schools and lovely countryside but under an hour into Penn station.
Another really lovely town, which I loved but we couldn't get a rental house in, is Montclair NJ. It's a lot nearer to Manhattan, and is arty and cosmopolitan so less suburban "Stepford" white middle class IYSWIM. But still really good for families.
Good luck with renting - we relocated a year ago and were amazed at how few houses (as opposed to apartments) were available in the area.
I don't know about other states, but NJ really doesn't deserve its dodgy reputation - people tend to see only the area around Newark which is horrendous and assume the worst - but its an enormous, green, beautiful state. It's "the garden state". Its a bugger for bureaucracy though (just to offer a balanced view!)
Good luck, enjoy your recce

For Wall Street, you have at least two great options, which are both urban but neighborhood-y, and which mean DH can walk to work (a big plus in my book). Look at Battery Park City, which is a fabulous neighborhood on the Hudson River - maybe ten minutes walk to Wall Street. I lived there for two years and adored it. It's Manhatten, but in such a tucked away little corner, and one of the few places where you have no major road traffic (river on one side, quiet road on other). There is a fantastic long park and promenade along the waterfront, with small playgrounds, different plantings, plenty of benches and wonderful views. There is a very active neighborhood, lots of little shops, loads of children and pretty easy access to public transport. Nearby Tribeca has great restaurants and boutiques. Long-ish but fun walks to Chinatown, Soho, Little Italy and Union Square. The other good option is Brooklyn Heights - either a short subway ride for DH (one or two stops to Wall Street) or a great walk (maybe 20-30 minutes) across the Brooklyn Bridge. Super playground, active community, loads of kids and preschools, good shopping and restaurants, nearby to other interesting neighborhoods like Dumbo for artist studios and Atlantic Avenue for ethnic food shops.

thanks a lot for comments - does anyone know anything about Maplewood?

Diddledee, I grew up in the suburbs of NYC then lived in NYC for 10 yrs & know it fairly well & continue to spend every moment I can there. I also have a lot of boring opinions about NYC so apologies in advance. Some of the suggestions here are excellent, but would advise against others. For example: I think LI has changed since Janh was there. (Sorry to contradict you, Janh, for I worship your advice on all matters teen.) Nassau County, where most NYC commuters tend to live, is overpopulated & traffic horrendous. It's expensive, too, and dare I say soulless (says the one who escaped with soul intact, I think ).

I'd also worry about Darien, CT, another expensive suburb (like many CT suburbs). The famous line "The Aryan from Darien" is still true, according to an Arab woman I sat next to on the plane. She's found living there with her baby difficult; ethnic homogeneity & conformity are the norm, she says.

If you're after a proper NYC experience, why not stick to the 5 boroughs. Granted, you'll get a shoebox (& no garden) for your money in Manhattan, but how about Brooklyn? You can find some good school districts there, it's ultra hip, you probably won't get a garden but you'll have parks nearby. . .and it's slightly less expensive than Manhattan. It feels urban and self-contained, and it's easily accessibly to Manhattan by subway. If you have no joy in Brooklyn, then try Queens. . .and in Queens you can get a garden.

I'm not that familiar with N. Jersey, but agree it's deffo worth looking into. But again, you might not have the NYC experience to the same extent. (Granted I'm a boring urban curmudgeon.) I also think the London suburbs are totally dif to the NYC suburbs. You might be happy in the suburbs here, but not there IYSWIM.

This goes without saying, but look into schools first. Catchment areas are more clear cut there than here. There are some fab school districts in Manhattan & Brooklyn & (I'm sure) Queens but others that are floundering--so a bit of research will be key.

Good luck, diddledee. I hope you have fun out there. We moved to Suffolk Co. on Long Island when ds was 7 and dd 4. Only there for a year, then had a year in LA after that. Great fun. Can't give any advice though - all my info would be way out of date now.

Oh, dear, epk, is it really that bad there now? I know our next-door neighbours in Great Neck moved out several years ago because it had changed so much and just wasn't nice any more...all the neighbourhood shops had slowly disappeared etc. Sigh. It was so peaceful and pleasant 20 years ago.

(They now have a beautiful house on a lake upstate though - DD1 visited them this summer, first time they'd met since she was 2! )

From the perspective of someone living in the suburbs Diddledee, I have to say if my kids were as young as yours I'd go with EPK and Tartegnin - live as close into Manhattan as possible. It's such a fantastic city and since you're only here for 2 years, schools aren't really an issue. They were for us because my kids are 6 and 9, but even living out here I only get into Manhattan once a month or so, with car pooling and various commitments, and it does make me wistful that it's so near and yet so far IYSWIM! The suburbs are lovely, safe, wonderful for families - but if you're only here for 2 years I'd say sod the garden and grab everything else that Manhattan has to offer. There's nowhere like it.

This might sound bonkers after me extolling the virtues of the NJ suburbs yesterday, (and they definitely have their virtues such as an amazing sense of safety) but I went into Manhattan yesterday and couldn't help thinking how I would have done things differently with hindsight, or if schools hadn't been such a high priority.

Maplewood is about 3 train stops nearer the city from where I live, I don't know it very well but it seems really nice when I've driven through it. The Oranges, the next stops on, are less appealing - Maplewood is the first train stop on the trip out where you think "THis is nice," whereas the Oranges are a bit more like outer edges of Newark.

If your company is paying for it and money isn't a big issue, then how about Manhattan itself? I agree with Turquoise. So much of deciding where to live (and consequently cost of living) is dependent on the local schools. If that isn't an issue, then Manhattan would be awesome. I know of a few couples who lived in Manhattan until their kids were a little bit older and then moved out to the 'burbs.

I always fantasized about living in Battery Park City, especially when I worked in the Trade Center and used to walk around there at lunchtime. I have to say I don't know how that area has bounced back after 9/11, but you can't beat the commute to Wall Street.

Other cool Manhattan neighborhoods that are an easy commute are TriBeCa, SoHo, Greenwich Village and the East Village.

Keep us up to date. I'm interested to hear what you choose and what you think when you go house hunting.

My Auntie lives in Montclair! I grew up in Bridgewater, New Jersey Diddledee. I loved it, is a 50 minute commute on the train into Manhattan. Peapack/Gladstone (where Jackie O had her hourses was great too.) Basking Ridge and Morristown NJ are good contenders too if you are looking in New Jersey. Princeton is also fabulous with the University there. Maplewood is also nice. Good luck with the house hunt. I wish you the best.

I agree with expatkat. Go for the different adventure and stay in manhattan. I have very good friend with a 4 year old who lives in a place called Stuyvesant Town. It used to be middle income housing, but they renovated it a few years ago and the apartments are really very nice. The best thing about it is that it has enormous grounds filled with well maintained playgrounds, activities, familes etc. etc. It's around 14th-20th street on the east side so it's an easy commute to wall street. Also my friend says that the local primary school that is the cachement state school for Stuyvesant Town is supposed to be very good (if your older one goes to school). If you send me a CAT I would be happy to put you in touch with my friend and she could tell you a bit about it (she's english too).

Hey expatkat! I also grew up in NYC suburbs and then lived in NYC after college - where did you grow up?

Tartegnin: Nassau County on L.I. Went to College in NYC & stayed there (til 6 yrs ago when we moved to London). Whereabouts are you from?

Expatkat - across the Sound in Rye ... college in Vermont then into the City to work for a few years, then to Atlanta for law school, then back to Manhatten for a few years, then Moscow, then (and now) Switzerland. Nice to meet a "neighbor" on MN!