What makes life worth living?

[emkana]

Hi all,
at the moment I live a fairly quiet life, which is centred very much around the family/the children. During the week I do various things with the children (toddler groups, meeting other mums), which is my main bit of socialising. At the weekend we're mostly just together as a family, or with dh's parents and brother - my family is in Germany, so too far away. I hardly ever go out at night, if I do I meet up with a close friend, maybe for a meal or a film. I never go to pubs or clubs, and don't really want to.
My friends who I went to school/uni with, most of them still childless, keep going on at me that I don't really 'live' at all, that surely I can't be happy like this, that I should be doing more for myself, ie go out etc. But I'm quite happy the way things are! Why is going out and socialising considered to be so important?

Well it is when you're childless! What else have you got to do?

Before you have kids it's almost impossible to imagine life with them, or to understand how important they are to their parents. After you have them, it's almost impossible to imagine how anybody else can live without them.

Don't worry about it, emkana. Your life sounds great!

I know what you mean, somebody once asked me what I did for me time! Cleary childless! Anyway what with two kids and an evening job there is no such thing as bloody "me time". Do I miss it, not at all. Although I can see all this selfless living coming to an end soon, 5 years of devoting myself to the gruesome twosome, swimming, toddler group, potty training and sleepless nights are all very well but lets hope that this time next year I have a job, loads of money and a cleaner, big sigh, happy days.

Having read my post, I don't sound so selfless! . I would not swap any of it, I consider myself very privilidged to have been able to spend my time with the kids, and they are great . Priorities change once you have them. On the odd occassion dh and I go out when we are bullied if my mum comes to stay or something we are usually home by 9.30 because we miss them, pass the sick bucket.

But I've also had people with children telling me how absolutely vital it is to go out/have weekends away etc.
I mean if that's what you want to do, that's great and lovely, I don't mean to say that everybody has to sit around at home all the time, but why do people feel that they need to tell me what makes me happy?

When you go out to a brand new ... now wait for this ... ! WI meeting, you get back, and find the child that's awake has actually missed you! And it seems like for the first time ever!

Because people just love giving advice! You sound fine to me (and skinny too) so just smile sweetly and ignore them.

I've had the "what do you DO all day?" comment as well. Sheesh!

It's each to there own really, I mean I really didn't want to get a full time job unless I really had to and I've been lucky. On the other hand I do have friends who are working mothers who say that if they are home all day they would crack up. If you are happy with what you are doing that's great, I know I wouldn't change my time for the world, even looking at the chocolate cake that I foolishly let ds decorate this afternoon!

I love going away and leaving the kids behind, but right at this very minute, life would be worth living if dh would stop snoring.

I remember once asking a married friend with 2 kids what she found to do all day now she didn't have a job...wow did I get an earful!
Now with 2 of my own I understand.
Life is what makes YOU happy, not other people who have their own ideas

I'm with you emkana, I love spending time with my dh and my boys.We have so much fun together.Dh and I have talked about this, and tried to remember what we did with our time pre-kids and we have no idea.A lot more time in bed probably!!!Certainly whole days spent in bed at weekends etc.pubs,clubs?? Meals out??? But,as my mum always says, you're a long time dead..and when you've got kids you certainly fill your days.We find ourselves doing things now that we would never have done before the boys were born.And if we pay for this with less sleep and time alone then what the hell. Gosh, this is really garbled but you know what I mean.