Most inappropriate overheard conversations

[CorBlimeyGovenor]

Overheard today at the park. Perhaps the most inappropriate things ever communicated from a grandmother to her grandchildren:

1/ after a lovely boy with (I assume Asperger's or similar) walked over and stroked her dog;

"My dog didn't like him one bit. Did you see that? Didn't like him at all. Dogs can tell. He was weird. Sick in the head. Stay away from people like that!"

2/ about their grandfather;
"You don't know what he put me through. He was an alcoholic. Used to come in blind drunk. Could n't stand. Spent all our money on booze. You have no idea what that man did to me!"

3/ whilst lighting up a cigarette in the children's play area;
" I ain't going to stop smoking for no-one. The doctor told me that if I carried on, I could drop dead at anytime. But I told him that it made me happy. So that's my choice if I just drop dead!"

Her grandchildren were delightful. Sat there meekly, whilst looking slightly shell shocked (aged about 6 and 9).

So... what's the worst/weirdest/most inappropriate things that you have overheard? There must be some good stories out there.

Friend with no filter describing how she had got overenthusiastic with a sex toy when drunk and was now worried she had injured herself. Asked her 20 year old student nurse daughter to have a look, girl advised she phoned Dr. Dr advised it was just bruising btw.

Ginger, that is shocking! Imagine asking your daughter to have a gander!!

CorBlimey to be fair, I had a bit of an “incident” with my moon cup which almost resulted in me ringing my mum for help
I have to cut the stem completely off otherwise it pinched me, and I was having some difficulty removing it. I’d had a good forage, got into some interesting positions and still couldn’t reach it DH was working away so I couldn’t ask him! I figured that my mum had seen a placenta come out of me, so a mooncup couldn’t be worse than that
Luckily she managed to come up with a solution over phone without having to come over and shine a torch up my flange Crisis was averted!

Overhead students at school playing a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. The three lucky ones were quite elderly teachers at the school. The assumed pros and cons were being discussed in quite a lot of detail. Never had the guts to confront that one.

Definitely not the worst I've heard from students but did conjure up some images which will never go away.

Am laughing re the students! I bet that it was pretty grim. Do you think that they reached the right conclusions though...?