Im really sorry, but I need to have a moan. Ive been feeling down the past few days. My job has fallen through so now not sure what to do. I was going to go college, but keep changing my mind about what to do (suppose to be enrolling Tuesday). Im thinking of doing Photography as its something Ive always wanted to do then maybe French, not too sure at the moment. Still in two minds. I dont know whether to go college or to go back to looking for a job. I am in so much money trouble. I usually end up in my overdraft each month, but the end of last month, I was way out of my overdraft, and some of my bills werent paid as I didnt have sufficient funds. Im not sure whether it is better for me to look for a job to try and sort myself out, as I would have been £40 better a week if I had that job.
I cant ask my mum or my dad for money. Theyre both in their overdrafts, mums too busy helping my stupid f*ing sister who quite frankly I hate (sorry but she really drives me mad!!) Exp says he has changed the maintenance back from £10 to £25 (suppose I should be thankful) but yesterday I brought dd her first pair of shoes. Cost me £28!! I asked exp if he could send me the £ for them. He said hed pay me half (again suppose its better than nothing).
Im worried about the next few months. Ive got my mum, dd, and sisters birthdays, plus Xmas where Ill have to buy everyone at least one present. I passed my driving test and cant see how Im ever going to be able to afford myself a car. I probably couldnt afford to keep one if I had one!
I hate living on my own. I know it sounds so stupid but there was a huge spider in my bathroom sink last night and I was too scared to kill it (pathetic arent I?) I dont mind if theyre on the floor and I can just step on them. I really need that spider killer spray. Well anyway I washed it down the sink and ever since Ive had all the plug holes covered up so it doesnt get back in! I cant move back home, as my sister took over my room and her old room is now dd's nursery for when she stays over. Plus it would drive me mad to go back home. I spent 18 years trying to get out of there!!
Sorry for moaning, but Ive got noone else to talk to as noone in RL listens to me