Sweets at tills are bad enough but....

[newlifenewname]

...ice-creams outside school classrooms at home time?

There may have been a letter about this happening but I don't recall it (incompetent mother you see, ref. a recent thread) and so I had no 'proper' money on me.

Right outside (lost youngest ds in the kerfuffle) my son's classroom, right on home time, they had a table selling lollies and ice creams for school funds.

Of course I was pestered like crazy by all 3 children and just about every mother was giving in to pester power.

Had to rummage like crazy for a few coppers to get them each a mini milk.

I am mightily annnoyed by this and don't think it is fair really.

School fair was last weekend and I contributed with cakes and raffle tickets, etc.

Hope it was none of you mumsnetters responsible?!

would this have been better in AIBU?

You didn't 'have to' give them anything.
You're in charge not them.
I would have sailed past it,oblivious to shouts and cries.

we have a rule. they can only have an ice cream on a friday if its sunny.

so far everyweek it hasnt been 'sunny enough' by mummys standards.

I know moondog, and in my job I preach exactly that but why should I have to go through the tantrums when I'm on the school run? I expect it in shops and am prepared for it. I give less of a stuff what the anonymous onlookers think there too, but this was school and I really couldn't face standing my parental ground in front of a HUGE majority of parents who were buying the ruddy lollies.

Hi Misdee

Bad planning on the school's part. If they were hoping to raise funds, they should have given you notice so you could have brought money with you.

we've got an ice-cream day on tuesday .. you have to send your kdis in with 50p if you want them to have an ice-cream

how cruel would you have to be to not give them the 50p?

I am eeking out the milk til I get more money. Spent waaay more than I should have done at the school fair because I felt bad about having two 'free' school trips when we were in the refuge. Now this. I honestly didn't have a spare £1 today but in the end I spent 60p on them. One carton of milk we won't be buying until after the weekend.

Actually that makes me even more of a twunter for giving in, but see why I'm narked?

You need toi develop a backbone Newlife.

I had one once. It only appears when parent coaching other people's kids now.

Maybe this is one for therapy session - I think I'm trying to compensate for letting the kids down so fucking badly over the last 2 years.

Oh I'm sure that's not true.
Kids are massively resilient.I know that through my work with them over the years.

I just think all of us need to remember from time to time that WE ARE IN CHARGE.

I AGONISED TONIGHT OVER WHETHER TO LET MY DD GO TO A FRIEND'S B'DAY PARTY or whether we stuck to our original plan to take my father out for his birthday.

Suddenly struck me that my life revolves around their pleasures and that mine would take precedence this time.

She took it surprisingly well.

Thanks. I really do believe in what I teach and that is that if you create reasonable boundaries that remain in place come what may, then children develop confidence and good behaviour as a consequence of this continuity, and security of knowing where they stand.

I need to cut, paste and print what I typed above and stick on my forehead!

I know how you felt - today was cake sale and I sent DS1 to school with 40p for two cakes.

Someone at the last PTA suggested cake sales every friday - aaagh

My kids are a bit hyperactive and very sensitive to sugar. I spend my life trying to limit their sugar intake and don't need the school making it more difficult.

Ah,I know myself.It's easy to dish out advice and hard to follow it yourself eh?
Sorry,didn't mean to be unkind. You've obviously had a rough time. Kids like and need boundaries though.

I don't suppose it has crossed your minds that the people selling the ice-creams to-day are trying to recoup some of the money they failed to raise because the Summer Fair was a washout. You could be talking about our school. We invested over £80 in ice-creams to sell at our fair and because of the rain only sold £11 worth. How wicked of us to try to recoup some of that money on the first day when it hasn't rained all month. Obviously we all get together and think ''Oh this will really annoy everyone - let's make money for the school''. Perhaps you don't want your child to have new books to read or playground improvements.

That's a really uneccessarily emotive post. Why not tell/warn parents in advance? Why should they be expecting an icecream frenzy at pick up time? There is an icecream van that comes to the playground outside of my dc's school, and I am always amazed at the rush when the van pulls in, and then again at how incredibly upset my children get when I say that I don't have any money, or am not buying icecream for them. Now I do that because I think icecreams are pretty unhealthy and definately not for every day. But if you are short of money but maybe would like to buy nice things fror your kids it must be fairly soul destroying to watch every other kid clutching a lolly whilst your kids go without.

Yes I would like my children to have new books, etc. and, like I say, (not that you probably bothered to read Madame Soltan) we benefited from a free school trip this year, but I DID contribute by spending two evenings baking cakes and biscuits which ~I then paid to eat at the fair.

The real answer to your ridiculous question is that yes I would like my children to benefit from new school resources, but I think that the Government should be funding this, not the PTA and if that is too bloody difficult for tight wad/self important, image conscious politicians to achieve, then perhaps they could raise Income Support award figures to cover the cost of ice cream at the school gates - cos £57 a week doesn't pay for that and the essentials too.

Well,I'm sorry that some of you found my post emotive but when you are one of the people who has spent the last few weeks working your feet off ( because despite asking we get so few volunteers to help)for the benefit of the school and been thwarted by the weather you tend to get a bit sensitive when people moan about well intentioned fundraising attempts. In our case we did let people know over a week in advance that we were planning to sell ice-creams and have let them know on which other days this is planned.
Perhaps it is really the lack of notice which was a problem for you rather than the actual sale.

People moaning about the PTA is par for the course, and yes it's irritating, but I think that nnln has explained the situation very clearly here and I can understand why she's narked, tbh.

FWIW, although I would love every parent to support (and/or assist) in every event we (the PTA) put on, realistically we accept that parents can't do everything, and some parents won't do anything.

I also agree with Moondog, but I know sometimes just how hard it is to deal with three children all creating cos they want something they can't have.

I'm not particularly moaning about the PTA fund raising, more the way they went about it. I always support as much as I can.

They could have given notice and they could also have put a sign up for ice creams being sold in the hall. It really was right next to the classroom door.