Lonely new mum - advice needed!

[sweetkitty]

Don't know where to put this really but here goes. I had my first baby a few weeks ago and although I'm loving being a mum I'm now finding I'm getting lonely during the day. I moved to London for work and have no friends in the local area. I chat to friends/family on the internet most days but it's not the same. It was OK when I was at work because I have friends there. I've heard about Mother and Baby groups but don't know how you go about joining. Another thing is I would have to use public transport to get anywhere and I don't feel confident enough.

Has anyone else been in similar situation/got any advice?

I was in similar situation as I had left london and friends for manchester when I had DS - I am not really a joiner-in type but I did go one day to an aqua natal group which made conversation easier... and I met 2 friends who I am still good friends with 5 years later... takl to your midwife .... she should know some groups - mie was great for sorting out the cliquey groups from the normal ones... baby massage was the best as you are not forced to chat!

Hope you manage on the buses - slings wer best for this I found

Which area do you live in?

Most mother and baby groups you just go along and introduce yourself. Ask your health visitor if she is doing any new mother groups and if not why not! I went to them with my first baby and learnt a lot about baby care and development and also made a friend of another new mother. Went again after baby no. 4 just to meet new people! Look at posters in your baby clinic, try the local library for posters or go to mum and baby swimming courses. I am not the best person to advise about loneliness (see name) but I can sympathise!

Hi sweetkitty,
Sorry to hear that you feel so lonely. Have you thought about doing some work from home? Earn a few pounds and talk to lots of people on the phone. You might meet other parents with babies your age... Also, have a look at a different web side: netmums.com You will find lots of other mums like you living in the London area and sometimes they get together and meet. And then there is your local doctor's surgery. Mine has up lots of posters with different baby and toddler groups in the area. Hope this helps.

Hello and congratulations on your new baby. It can all be a bit overwealming at first cant it?

For a list of mother/toddler groups I went to www.netmums.com - then join your regional netmums website and then there will be a link to toddler groups (hope that makes sense!!).
To meet other mums there is also www.mama.org.uk. Also of course there are loads of mumsnet meetups in london so look out for them.

BTW it does get easier!

In addition - as you baby gets older you can try classes like tumble tots and jo jingles.

Another good thing for babies is baby massage class - so have a look about (the library notice board is a good information place or your local council website). You may not have to use public transport - see where these things are first.

SweetKitty, I'll be in much the same situation as you in a few months time. Moved up here about six months before I got pregnant and don't really have good friends up here, only people I have met through work. Have you gone to any of the meet ups? Need to be brave I know, and something I haven't been brave enough to do so I can't talk. But I do plan to when I have my DS to show off hopefully! I'd love to meet up if you'd like to as we will have things in common shortly! Please don't let it get you down.

Also would you consider going to the city picnic meet up at the weekend? I'm sure they would all love to have you there.

why not give the nct a call and find out about bumps and babes groups.good for new mums 'cos there are no marauding toddlers!! Also baby clinics usually run groups for mums with babies under one.Ask the hv or midwife for info.I have also found that when you have a baby,more people stop to talk to you and coo over the baby etc.I would definitely reccomend getting out at least once a day, even if it's just walking the pram round the block or popping to the library.Being out in the real world makes a difference to the day somehow.It does get easier honestly.Congrats on your new arrival by the way!