Mother's Day Problem..

[Melyn]

Last year, my first mother's day, my MIL gave me a few gifts unwrapped and said "These are for Jane" (MILs daughter who was 11 last year, she is my son's Auntie)
I asked "You want me to give these to her to give to you?"
She replied "No, they're for her from John (my son) for Mother's Day.." (Names have been changed)
My son loves his Auntie to pieces, but she sees him 4 hours in a week if that, am I being horrible if I don't think Jane should get a present for what is meant to be Mother's day and not Auntie's Day? Tbh I feel so insulted, I look after my son 24/7 and the ONE day I get to feel appreciated for all the hours I give to my son I have to share with an 11 year old who sees him once a week for a few hours. Am I overreacting..?

That is absolutely bizarre OP, I'm baffled!

This was a year ago? Why’s it bothering you now?

@AnneLovesGilbert I'm guessing as Mother's Day isn't that far off the OP has just been reminded of it!

Mother's Day stuff has been coming into shops again and I talked with a friend about it today and realised it might happen again this year.. I feel like it's just an excuse to give her presents (like she isn't given enough already).. It just upset me last year, but my partner never talks to his Mum about things that bother me, and I feel like I can't talk to her..

Did you give her the gifts?

We had a dinner out which I didn't bring the gifts to hoping my partner would say about me being upset by it, MIL asked where they were to my partner and instead of saying "we don't want to give them, it's Mother's Day not Auntie's Day" (he also agreed the presents were stupid) he said "they're at home we'll get them later.." so when we went to ours, he gave them to her then.. I don't feel like I can talk to MIL, we had twins and only one survived unfortunately, so it was my first Mother's Day which was extremely emotional for me anyways and this happened.. She thinks my anxiety is stupid, and when I'm upset with something and try to talk to her I'm told to forget about it and that it's nothing basically..

If MIL trys the same this year, just say that you won’t do that, because Jane isn’t your son’s mother!

You shouldn’t let your MIL bully and intimidate you. Stand up for yourself, or you will have a lifetime of misery.

I think I'll have to do just that AdaColeman, I'm not a confrontational person so it's difficult for me to speak up in situations with people I'm uncomfortable with but I'll try.. thank you.

It sounds as though your DH is also afraid to say what he thinks to his Mother. He hasn’t made that leap from a child / parent relationship to an adult/adult relationship with her. So he is unlikely to offer you much real support.

Think about going to a self assertiveness course to boost your confidence.

So sorry to read the sad news about your baby, no wonder your MIL’ behaviour upset you. I hope things are a little brighter for you now.

Is there an auntie’s day?

If there is - even if usually in the US or France (or Darkest Peru or anywhere!) - then claim it and just write Happy Auntie’s Day on them and save for the right date.

If mil says anything say you’ll give presents to her aunt on aunt’s day not mother’s day. No arguments.

Also she gave them to you unwrapped?! Who does that to a mother. We have enough to be doing! At least wrap the damn things.

I agree though it's silly. Shes an auntie not a mother. Maybe you could say it was nice her getting something last year for her first year being an auntie and something to look forward to when one day (should she so wish) she is a mother herself.

I think he is too, he's great in every other way other than talking to his Mum on my behalf.. Thank you for the support, we're blessed to have our son with us and he makes every difficult day better.
That's actually a great suggestion rosablue.. According to google it says it's on July 26th so if my stand up for myself plan falls through that will be plan B lol.

But why didn't she give them to her daughter herself?

Because they were "from" my son, so it should look like we gave them to her

Next time just say she is an aunt and a child but not a mum so its not happening!