Antenatal depression

[Loobie]

i am pregnant with baby no.3 and have been feeling really depressed for the last 5 -6 weeks,have just told the midwife about it and she advised me to see the doctor as i new she would.i had pnd after both the boys but never in pregnancy,i havent slept for about 6 weeks and go for days without eating then eat everything in sight for a few days and the pattern goes on. i have recently split with dp but this is not the cause of the depreesion as i had it before the split.i feel such a fraud as i should be happy to be with child but i just feel really lousy and lethargic and cant get motivated to do anything,everything is such a huge effort.i havent gone to the docs yet as i know there's not much that can done while im pregnant and i worry that to hear that will make me feel ten times worse.everday i get up hoping i will feel better but it just doesn't seem to be going away,please help.

Loobie, sorry to hear about your bad time, it's really v.v. hard and i sympathise/empathise A LOT - how far gone are you? I am 21 weeks p/g with no. 2 (ds is 2 1/2) from 8-17/18 weeks i got v. depressed. I was getting on v. badly with dh and thought that we were on the road to splitting up and was v.v. tired mainly due to dealing with him, my worry for the effect on ds and being p/g. Sometimes I was so tired that it would hurt my arms to brush my hair, or walking up a few steps would wipe me out (I know it may sound ridiculous to some but that was how bad it got). During my 1st p/g i was absolutely fine the whole way through.

I went to see my gp who, v. surprisingly, was v. understanding - usually he's too busy to deal with his patients 'properly' but this was different. I had gone because i thought i may have developed aneamia because i was so tired but as soon as i got in there couldn't stop crying. he actually called dh in and spoke to him which helped. I also started to see a therapist who helped with the depression and helped me to try and concentrate on myself a bit - which is v. difficult when you have major relatinship problems and young children. You should not under estimate all of this. If you have 2 young children dealing with them is exhausting let alone being p/g and having to sort out your relationship. Exhaustion and tiredness can (i think) be one of the major causes of depression. Are you able to get some time to yourself? Even if it's just to relax on the sofa to watch a film, or p/g yoga, or SLEEP, walk in the park, girly time with friends! if you've got a parent oir a friend who can take your 2 for a bit the space would do you the world of good. Also remember hormones are raging and this can pass during stages of pregnancy - sometimes it just sorts itself out - but you can always give it a helping hand.

My GP did suggest at one point that i take anti-depressants (p/g suitable) but i didn't want to get caught up in that cycle. Sorry for going on about myself - but i think it does really help to know that other people are going through sim ilar things, my probs are far from solved but i can see a flickering light at the end of the tunnel - and i do now have the energy to get up in the mornings!

Are you in London? I could recommend a therapist if you think that it might help. But please most of all find some time for yourself and look after yourself. Sometimes it's your body just telling you to stop. I really hope things get better for you. At some point it will begin to improve ...... good luck and keep in touch, and remember lot of us know what it's like.

loobie - GO TO THE DOCTOR (note stern tone!). Antenatal depression is not as well publicised as post natal depression - indeed, some in the medical profession are only just waking up to its reality. However, it is far more common than you think, but women tend to talk about it less because they feel it isn't 'normal' and they should not be feeling this way - surely they should be happy?,.....
Many things contribute to antenatal depression - your hormones on the rampage for one. then there are external factors - I know you said splitting with your dp was not the 'cause' - well maybe not, but I suspect things could not have been right awhile before he left, and these tensions are all contributary factors. Then ther is tiredness, and with two others, that goes without saying. In short Loobie, ther are many reasons WHY you are feeling like this, but you really need help to help yourself. Your midwife and health visitor will provide a good listening ear, but can't go any further and prescribe medication, if this is what is felt is needed. There is plenty the dr can do for you - may just help to talk to him/her for a start. You could also be prescribed anti-depressants on a short term basis to see if this helps - the GP will know which are safe to use in pregnancy. Please see someone Loobie - if you don't, you'll end up feeling worse

Loobie, Leese is right - GO AND SEE YOUR DOCTOR (stern tone also ). I suffered from a period of antenatal depression when I was pg with my second child, and it was truly awful. I felt like you, that there was nothing my doctor could do for me. In the end dh made me go and it was the best thing that I could have done. My GP was really nice, and took me seriously (unlike some other people who took the 'cheer up, pull yourself together, you'll be fine' line). It didn't cure the depression straight off, but it made me see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel, and also that it wasn't silly that I was feeling the way I was. Please go and see your GP - and carry on talking to us if it helps at all - we're always happy to listen.

Very sorry you are having such a rotten time, Loobie. Leese's is right you must go to see your GP so s/he can get some help organized for you. The wife of a work colleague of mine needed anti-depressants and took them for about six months (including late pregnancy) and they really helped her to get through a bad patch and back to her old self.

Take heart, Loobie, you can help for this and you will come through the other side. Please, let us know how you get on.

Loobie - can't offer any helpful advice except to echo the GP thing. I had post natal dep a year after dd was born but not before. Really just want to say take care and you know we're all here for you and anyone else suffering. Mabs

Just to reiterate what Leese and everyone else has said. Go to the doctor - there is help available. Hope you feel better soon.

Loobie - see my website here . My dd was unplanned and through that and lots of other things I suffered from severe depression whilst pregnant with her. I became paranoid, suffered delusions, mood swings, loss of appetite, total denial that I was pregnant, and towards the end, self harm. I was finally taken to casualty at nearly 8 months pregnant after trying to hurt myself (again) and threatening to kill my baby. The doctors took me seriously then, but it was almost too late. I was referred to a Community Psychatric Nurse, I cannot tell you how much that helped! Social Services were involved, well they had to be by then, but I got ample support from both my GP and midwife and after I gave birth I was given a progesterone treatment to offset any post-natal depression.

I agree that you must see your GP and if they do not take it seriously then change, like I had to do eventually. See your midwife, ask to be referred to a CPN. Scream and holler for help every step of the way if you have to! You have already made the crucial step of telling us, so please now confide in your GP. You can be put onto anti-depressants even whilst pregnant, so don't worry about that. And do visit my website, there is a page there dedicated to ante-natal depression and its treatments.

Keep in touch and good luck. You are not alone with this, it is more common than you would think!

I might have done that link wrong, let me try again link Hope it works this time!

loobie - just wanted to check you're OK...... don't feel you 'should' post if you don't feel like it but at the same time remeber we are all here for you and thinking about you, at the reisk of repeating myself, a lot of us know what it's like, take care emilys xx

Hope you are OK, Loobie. I have have been thinking about you. Take care. x

i went to the docs yesterday and as expected he didnt want to give me medication but he has reffered me to the cpn to try and sort things through,this may help as with ds problems and all the other stuff maybe having someone to talk things over will help. at least the doc and the midwife are aware and can keep an extra eye on me as its not always easy to admit.

oh and thank you all for your support it helps to know that im not a fraud and others have also felt this way.

Loobs, you are not a fraud, you are in my thoughts, talking to the cpn will help. I am a great believer in counselling at every level esp the sort that is provided by sites like this. I hope it helps to know that everyone is wishing you nothing but the best. And rhubarb, that is a wonderful sensitively written site, many congrats on it - you must be really proud of yourself.

I am so pleased that you have been to see your GP, Loobie. I hope you things start to improve for you and that the cpn is able to help you. I will be thinking of you.

You know Loobie you can insist that you be put on medication. There is an anti-depressant you can use whilst pregnant, and if your cpn agrees, he/she can also put pressure on your GP to get it prescribed for you. Also it might be worth having your thyroids checked out, it is common during pregnancy to have underactive thyroid glands which would affect your sleep, appetite and moods. A simple test would detect it and you can also get medication to treat it too.

Glad you liked the site Lilibet, it did take a lot of thought and I do wonder if I should keep up with it now dd is getting older, I don't want her to know everything that happened. But whilst people read it and are helped by it, I do feel better that I have achieved something through my own bitter experiences.

Hi Loobie

How are you? Have you seen your cpn yet? Hope you are OK.