Getting married - who sits where?

[Sal1105]

Afternoon. My dp and I are getting married in September. Hurrah. We have a ds who will be about 4.5 months at the time. Most of the wedding plans I did before he was born but we've now got to decide about table plans. There's about 100 people coming and we've always planned for it to be really informal - no frilly frocks, speeches, master of ceremonies etc. However, we were thinking about the 'top table'. Having not been to many weddings, does anyone now who's is supposed to sit on it - apart from me and dp that is. Obviously his parents, my father and the best man. But what about the best mans wife and children. Seems a bit off splitting them up and they can't all sit there. I'd like my sister on the table in replacement of my mum (she died 18 months ago) but she has two small children. May be we shouldn't have a 'top table' and just have an ordinary table like the others with a bigger flower display. What to do....? Any suggestions/ideas to copy would be fab. Thanks everso......

put best man's wife and children, with your sister's chldren and another spare adult, (who is great with the kiddies) on a round table really near the top table.

i changed my top table around as it involved, divorces, and my german inlaws who i couldnt separate so i put them on dh's right , and they had german speaking best man to his right.

next to me i had my sis, my dad, mum and sis.

their partenrs were strewn amongst other guests, or family, twas fine.

informal , but had to be 'planned' iyswim

Do what ever you want. We had a top table but not the traditional layout due to various deaths, divorces and family politics. I had my two best friends and DH had his two. We had his grandma as well as his parents. We also had the wife of the best man so she did not sit alone.

The one other thing I would add is are you sure you do not want speeches??? We had an informal wedding but the speeches were my fav part. IMO it is what makes a wedding special and unique. They do not have to be long and we didn't even have the traditional people making them. But they are a chance for the all the guests to hear abit about you both and laugh with you (and at you) and raise a glass to you.

agree, the speeches are the best.

mine were not formal, i got up and said a bit, and i was a bit pissed!!!!

the trad people did say things, but we kept it light, and in the end lotsof people got up, and we had a right laugh

Silly me, I didn't really mean no speaches, I meant it's not gonna be the traditional people who make the speaches. There are friends of dp who will but my step-father is quite old - not sure he'll be up to it. I haven't asked him TBH - not sure what he'll say. Always had a bit of a streigned (sp?) relationship with him and since my mum died it's improved but it's still hard. I'd like to run away, personally, but I don't think dp's mother would ever forgive me.

Oh, this is all great. You're right. We should just do what we want. May be we should go down the route of if people want to say something they can. I think I'd have to be a bit pissed before I stand up and say anything. I'm a right scaredy-cat.