Please advise me

[Snakepit]

Long story short - I'm on a voluntary work placement organised through the job centre to help me back into employment, I'm working as a trainee admin assistant within the NHS. I'm supposed to be doing 16 hours a week.

Anyway 2 weeks ago I phoned in on the monday to tell them that my son was ill and I couldn't go in, she was fine with it but I ended up taking the full week off, partly because my son was ill and also because I couldn't face going in just to sit for 4 hours a day doing nothing (as that is what I do when I'm there, nothing!).

Anyway last week our city was hit badly with the floods and I phoned into work on the monday to say I couldn't go in again because of the weather - as it happened she was pleased about this as the roof was leaking anyway.

Tuesday I phoned to tell her my kids school had flooded as a result of said weather and I couldn't go in again, she seemed ok with it.

Wednesday I went in.

Now I've just found out that my youngest son has an achievment assembly on monday, it's his first ever one (he's in yr 1) and as he suffers from behavioural problems it's a HUGE deal to us and to him so I have to be there.

Thing is I'm dreading phoning her again with yet another excuse as to why I'm not going in, I'm sure she'll get funny with me this time...am I doing the right thing taking ANOTHER day off? How do I handle this? I'm only contracted to be there for another 3 weeks and its not as if I get paid for it so surely they won't expect me ti miss my sons assembly for it?

could you offer to rearrange your hours? so you can make up the time.

Could you ask the job centre for some advice?
If you are really not bothered about being there then I wouldn't feel bad about phoning in again.

Maybe you should have gone in for the four hours when you couldn't face it?

I've missed a lot of things my children were doing when we were desperately trying to keep our heads above water by me starting a new business. I worked days and nights non stop for days at a time.

Does that help you solve your dilemma?

Can you not go in after the assembly and then work later to make up the time?

The placement is at the other side of town so its difficult for me to get there and stay longer than my arranged hours as I have nobody to pick the children up from school and only just make it back in time myself.

Don't get me wrong, if I was being paid for it I would go in but I'm not, it's voluntary, I can drop out at any time, it's not a proper job...but the woman I work for is really nice and I don't want to upset/offend her but at the same time my son would be devestated if I didn't go to his assembly and so would I, tbh missing it is not an option, it's that important. Im just dreading making ANOTHER call and its stressing me out a bit.

If I were your boss (I work in NHS and manage staff, though not voluntary) I woudl want you to come to me and say something like

'My son has a really important assemebly on Monday, you know the kind that you just have to go to? - I really want to go but I don't want to jeopardies my placement with, especially considering that you've been great with me so far. Would it affect you reference for me if I missed work again so I could go and be there for him?'

I think that would give your boss the opportunity to tell it like it is. TBH, she will probably say yes, it would affect your refence. Although you're not being paid, the liklihood is that your placement is causing your boss a lot of work in rterms of paperwork, time, training etc and all that cost money - money they could pay a bank worker to come and sort out what you're doing more quickly. My point is, although you're not being paid - they are doing YOU a favour as well as the other way around. Give and take.

I suppose it really comes down to whether you want a good reference (and resulting good job) or not - so what will it be?

forgive my shite spelling, having bad night!

But you would be okay telling her you have to go to the assembly if you hadn't already taken a large amount of time off. Okay most of it was reasonable but a hefty 4 hours wasn't.

When you say about how it's only voluntary it really sounds as though you have an appalling attitude to be honest. I'm sorry, but I just don't understand how you can be like this when ultimately someone else has to manage when they've been relying on you. It doesn't matter whether it is voluntary or not, it's just a really bad attitude to have.

There's nothing in my post that I thought would imply that I thought any less of voluntary staff, sorry if it did. What I wanted to point out was that your boss and her team would be putting themselves out for you as they would any new member of staff. However, the NHS has a huge number of bank staff who would probaly be able to just walk into your voluntary job and do it without much help because that's what they're trained to do. That's not because you're not as good as them, just that you're not as far down the line as them, though hopefully one day you might be.

What it comes down to is whether you want a good reference. I commend you doing voluntary work but my assumption would be that because you're doing it through the job centre you hope to gain something from it - or you'd be doing it in the redcross shop/oxfam etc. have I got that wrong?

sorry thought that last post was form OP, oops. Oh well, made my point again in a different way!

[must read posts properly!]

teafortwo, my ref was to op's comment not yours!

x post!

If this voluntary post is the beginning of anything, i.e. future career or employment of any kind then you really need to try and cultivate a good work ethic! I still agree that this assembly is v. important though and would personally rearrange work commitments if I could.

I agree with you snakepit. It is voluntary and so if you want to go to your sons assembly then you should go.

I recently volunteered to do one day a week helping out in a reception class but then after I got my kids school news letter I realised I wouldn't be as available as I thought i could be and so cancelled the placement. If it were a paid job then no I wouldn't have cancelled, but it's not it's voluntary and as such they shouldn't count on you being there imo.

Ring and explain, say you feel awful about having to miss time again, but that it is important to you and your son and see what they say.

To be honest I don't think me being there makes any difference to them at all, I have been there for around 6 weeks now and for the biggest part of that I have spent my days sat staring out of a window or being the centre of a joke when the boss litrally couldnt think of anything for me to do. Not only that but they decided to "share" me between 2 work placements and I never know where I'm supposed to be going from day to day, its all been a bit of a joke but I kept at it as I'm deperate to get back into proper work but when it comes to missing my kids important school events it's different, I can cope with going in and wasting 4 hours a day staring out of a window when I have nothing better to do but I'm not going to do that knowing I'm missing my sons assembly.

I'm tempted just to give the whole thing up, the sports days are coming up, end of term plays etc...I dont know if its worth the hassle anymore.

Can you not explain to the job centre that it isn't working out and that you'd like to try again somewhere else after the school hols ???

duck it !!! don't you dare even think of missing your sons assembly!!! your work can just deal with it if they have a problem with it, i thought by law that you could take unpaid leave for school plays etc
be strong and know that your life is FAR more important than that.
the worse that can happen is yo get fired - big deal if your leaving soon anyway and also its illegal to fire you for such things so legal action could be taken.

Not so sure there's a legal right to attend school plays etc!! but agree with the sentiment.
I'd just be brave and say "I understand the floods etc mean I haven't been around as much as I would have liked, but is there anything in particular I would be needed for on Monday as it's my son's first achievemnt assembly and I'd really like to be there. Of course I don't want to let you (employer) down, but I'd really feel I was letting my son down if I miss the assembly. I could be in by xxx time and I could try to make up the hours somehow". At least that would show you're considering them and not having a bad attitude.
In terms of them not giving you much to do, perhaps you could be proactive and suggest things - in most offices there are areas that could be cleared, filing, things to sort out, files relabelled, update contacts etc?? A good reference saying you showed initiative and willing could be worth so much!

Emergency parental leave doesnt cover school plays and there certainly isnt a law that covers you to attend.

However if the assembley means so much to you, ask if you can swap days or hours to cover the time off. I know the placement is voluntary but you should still respect them for giving you the placement - you never know if it could lead to a job or at the very least a good reference for any future job applications.

However, from you posts I get the impression you really dont want to work as it gets in the way of sports day etc. You either have to accept that you may miss them sometimes or stay home.

We have around 4 events a year at school that parents can attend, I either use holidays or swap my hours so that I can go.

I do want to work and I would be prepared to miss the odd sports day etc, I'm a single parent so if I want to progress in life I have no option but to work, this is why I took on the voluntary thing in the first place but I do begrudge missing my sons' events when a) I'm not being paid and b) I have nothing to do at work so it seems me pointless being there.

The voluntary work is organised through a training company who is paid by the government so nobody is out of pocket.

At the moment I'm tempted to just pack it in until after the summer hols and then look for proper work then.

Snakepit - sorry if my posts last night came accross that I thought you were being out of order or anything. I really do think you should ask - she can only say no. If you decide you want to pack it in if she says no then fair enough, but if she says yes and will still give you a good reference then that must count for something. If you walk away now you'll have wasted all the time you've given them up until now as they definitely won't give you a good report.

I know it must be a bore but hang in there if you can - it might make the difference between a bearable job and a blo^dy awful one when you do start looking for paid work.