Explaining about periods to DS1 aged 3.5

[youpeskykids]

Yesterday morning my DS1 aged 3.5 was very perceptive and noticed mummy was not wearing her usual racy-lacy little numbers and instead was wearing grey baggy time-of-the-month tummy warmers..... he also noticed mummy had the inevitable leakage stains....

He said: Ha Ha mummy has wet her pants!

I said: (rather quickly, and briefly) No I have not! and laughed it off.

Embarassment was not my motive for discontinuing with the conversation and I could have taken the opportunity to try to explain to DS1 what had happened - but thought against it, only because I made the assumption that a) doubtful he would understand the full implications of what I was telling him, and more importantly, b) doubtful he would have been in the slightest bit interested.

But it has got me thinking about the inevitable scenario - when is the best time for a mum to explain to her sons about periods?

My DS's always call tampons Mummy's nappys and my 5yr old watched one go in and said 'That has got to hurt!' I reckon you should just answer their questions honestly but in a way simplified for their age. My DS1 asked about babies at 4 but then asked again at 7 having clearly forgotten all about it!You may have to do it more than once

I told my son that periods come when mummy hasn't got a baby in her tummy.

he didn't ask anything else, and tbh, at 4, that's all he needs to know.

I distinctly remember my mum telling me and my sister that tampons helped her to go to the toilet. We laugh about this now, especially it only fuelled our fascination with them as opposed to quelling it!

I explained about how periods work to my girls around the age of four or so because I was worred that otherwise they would think I was hurt or something. I should think the same applies with boys although I don't have any.

The best time to explain about anything is when the child asks - if they ask the question then they deserve an answer. If he's really not interested then he won't ask for the information. Children are a lot more accepting of these things than we often expect them to be, and it's surprising what they do take in, as long as you only answer the question they ask.

I don't have sons but if I did I would be inclined to answer the question the way I did with dd, who asked about periods when she was under 3. I started off saying that periods are a way to show a lady that she can have a baby if she wanted to, but she asked for more information, and just kept asking!

So I said something along the lines of ... as a girl grows up her body starts to change, on the inside and on the outside, and one of these changes is that her body starts to get ready for when she are really grown up and want to have babies. Ladies can have babies because they have eggs inside them, and every month one of these eggs starts to get ready to make a baby, just in case that's what the lady wants. If the lady doesn't make a baby then the egg is flushed away, and that's called a period. It means there is some blood, but she wears special liners in her knickers to stop it getting on her clothes. The blood isn't there because she's hurt herself, it's not that kind of blood really, it's just the egg being flushed away.

When I was at secondary school (wasn't that long ago really!!! - am a thirtysomething!) the girls had to attend a special lession where matron talked about periods, whilst the boys went outside and pissed around playing cricket. God only knows what they thought we were doing, although we were given a very INdiscreet package of freebies. Definitely want my sons to be informed and understand what periods are.

My mum didn't explain about periods to me,ever, (and I had 2 older sisters who didn't either) so I've made sure DS1 knows all about them, and will be telling DD asap. (she's only one!) DS2 will have to wait, as I know he'll anounce his knowledge at pre-school!

Totally know where you're coming from - DS1 is very articulate and very forward, certainly isn't shy and has a memory of an elephant.

Can just imagine him wanting me to indulge him in a period conversation whilst at the supermarket till!

my ds told everyone i wear a nappy.

A lot of people seem to think the best time to explain things to children is when they ask. This is definately my mums opinion. I never asked what Tampax were for, even though I knew my mum kept them in the bathroom cupboard. The first time I heard about periods was on the play ground at high school. Most of my knowledge was picked up from teenage magazines. I really wish my mum had told me more.

It depends on what they get the opportunity to ask doesn't it. My children have always been very fond of accompanying me to the loo so they noticed periods very early and I therefore explained. My mum on the other hand never dreamt of letting me go into the loo with her and she kept her sanitary towels in her bedroom drawer not in the bathroom, so I had no idea periods existed until I was 12. Therefore, how could I ask?

Lynette, my mother didn't tell me anything either. I don't want that for dd, and had she not started to ask early, I would have made sure I'd started to talk to her by the age of 6.

But we are talking about younger children here, and I think that's a slightly different kettle of fish. You wouldn't want to launch into the birds-and-the-bees speech to a three year old who hadn't asked questions - it would be confusing and wouldn't mean much to them - but for an older child who hasn't begun to ask then I agree that you need to instigate the chat.

I do think that we owe it to our children to be as open as we can, so that they don't grow up knowing nothing, in the same way that so many of us did. I also think that whoever mentioned the fact that you may need to repeat yourself is right - even if you explain to a three year old, there's no saying that he or she will remember by the time they're a couple of years older.

Conversation in a busy public loo

"Mam - why are you wearing a little nappy?"

"Shhhhh sweetie, i'll explain later"

"Is that coming out of you're fluff?"