Husband troubles.

[Manoody92]

Hi everyone,

I've been having a lot of problems in my marriage over the last 6 months.
I feel like I'm constantly under pressure to be doing something, whether it be cleaning or just other jobs around the house. If I don't do these things I feel my husband looks down on me when he gets home from work. We have a 2 year old daughter who takes up all of my energy most days, am I being unreasonable?

It will be our one year wedding anniversary next week. My husband asked me if I had planned anything and when I said no, he lost it and asked why it was up to him to plan something? I don't feel like he's even grateful to be married to me sometimes, even though I try my best. Thoughts?

Hi everyone,

I've been having a lot of problems in my marriage over the last 6 months.
I feel like I'm constantly under pressure to be doing something, whether it be cleaning or just other jobs around the house. If I don't do these things I feel my husband looks down on me when he gets home from work. We have a 2 year old daughter who takes up all of my energy most days, am I being unreasonable?

I suppose my first thought is to ask whether he knows how he makes you feel? Have you told him or has he paid enough attention to notice? If not, I would explore that with him as unconfrontationally as possible. I might be hearing it wrong, but he sounds a bit resentful about arranging something for your anniversary. Perhaps you could decide something together, the main thing is that you're celebrating a year of marriage. He's very lucky that you're trying your hardest, I hope that he is too.
The early days of marriage are so important, I hope things work out for you, but you might have to spell it out to your husband in no uncertain terms. I had a friend whose husband would take a very superior attitude when things didn't go his way. They almost divorced but he eventually realised how damaging his behaviour was. Hopefully you and DH can work it out. Marriage is a huge life change for both of you, it takes time to adjust

That doesn't sound nice if the house is tidy and his pants washed my DH appreciates it, if not he'd tidy up a bit/stick some pants in the wash (though I have to admit that's taken a while, his previous response was to go and buy new )

Does he put pressure on you directly to have the housework done or do you feel it's implied?

Thank you for your replies, my post only just recently got approved so since writing this there has definitely been some ups and downs. I have had the conversation with him many times about how I’m feeling in our relationship, to which my husband apologises, comes good for a while and then seems to forget that I’ve said anything.
I’ve just returned home from hospital today with a bowel infection, I was really really sick for about a week so my husband has had no choice but to step up and help me.
We will see how things progress from here I suppose? Unless anyone’s got any better ideas than me? Thanks again.

He sometimes puts pressure on me, and sometimes implies it. Or calls me and asks what I’m doing for the day...

Maybe you could try telling him you're doing what absolutely needs to be done and then having a hot bath and a lie down. Sorry you've been ill, perhaps it will give you chance to recuperate and stay well now that he knows he's proved he can do it.