Driving

[youvegottobekidding]

Back story: Began learning 2015 (aged 42) extremely nervous. Failed 2 tests, took a 6 month break, found a different instructor, took a further 3 tests. All clean pages bar 1 serious which failed me each time (all different, silly things). My last instructor was aghast when I failed 3 times with him as he'd say I was one of his best drivers. Last test I took was Dec 2017. I have not drove since. It just crushed me. I haven't even drove our car since. My theory ran out earlier this year & so if I decided to have another crack at it I'd need to re-take that. I just feel like I can't be told I've failed again so what's the point in trying again. DH said at one point he didn't want to chuck any more money at it if I was just going to keep failing, as I don't earn enough to pay for the lessons myself or the tests. He wasn't the best either when in the car with me so he did put me off & I stopped going out in the car with him. There's a little bit of me that wants to give it another go, but it's the cost, having to re-take the theory & I would definitely need some lessons again, I couldn't just go straight in for a test.

I feel like a huge failure, I am, I know that. I'm embarrassed- especially when people ask, not that they ask much anymore, 'how's the driving going?' After 2,3 years of learning!

Hey I'm in the same boat! Started in 2015 weeks afyer my ds was born needed more lessons than expected, had a break in Nov and DEC to have a proper xmas, started back Jan 2016 then instructor kept cancelling literally 10mins before my lesson. Was livid with her so decided to stop for maybe 6months. Began looking for instructor again, found a woman but, was OK at first then booked test and wanted me to do lessons every day before test. (Not possible at all or me and was pregnant with dd at time) then because I declined the request of lessons every day she wouldn't teach me. Took me 2 more months to find someone else reasonably priced. Lovely woman a lot of lessons ect, did test but failed and then told her I was going to stop because my dd was due in a month and would contact her after dd was born to start lessons again. She was fine with that. Then when dd was 1m old my landlord said he was putting rent up an extra £300 a month which I couldn't afford even without driving lessons. I moved area and haven't yet started up again.

I think a huge part of it is that we feel pressured to drive, if we don't we're frowned upon! Luckily DH absolutely loves driving & doesn't mind running me about anywhere. My kids are a little older now (almost 14 & 9) they've never missed out on things as I've always managed to get them places be it walked if DH was at work or accepted lifts, I've never asked but graciously accepted.

I'm not one for wanting to go out to shops everyday, besides I work (locally within walking distance) so my need for driving isn't huge, it's just that little part of me that wishes I had learnt when I was younger & had the encouragement to do it. I will definitely be encouraging my kids as soon as they turn 17 no doubt about it!

My dad drove (he stopped when he turned 70 about 8 yrs ago) my mum never drove - she did try I think, I remember vaguely when I was small, my dad taking her out once or twice in the car & all he did was shout at her. My sister has never shown any interest whatsoever to learn & she's older than me, so I've never had any encouragement from my parents or siblings. They were/are quite negative people, the glass is always half empty.

Perhaps I will give it another go, get Christmas out if the way, re-take my theory & have some more refresh lessons and see how I go, it's so bloody expensive though, if it didn't cost so much i don't think it would be so bad.