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moving house

2 replies

scaredofchange · 09/10/2018 15:29

ok, so I am about to exchange contracts in a couple of weeks to move about 30 mins away to be close to my mum & sister & friends for some support. Just going through a divorce and its been an awful time. The house is a new build which helps as I don't know how to do anything in my home and it really needs a lot of work doing to it now. All sounds good, except I have 2 lovely children who have been through such a lot, and are very happy in their local schools. Both kids really do not want to change schools so I have committed to driving them back and fourth in the hope they may change their mind if they make friends in the area. I'm having sleepless nights about this move. Since the divorce I don't want to do anything that will disturb them even more, but I really need a fresh start away from my ex, and to have some support closer to home. Is this selfish of me to do this to them?. The eldest is 13 and the youngest 9. The eldest has trouble making friends as well I should add, but she finally seems settled. The drive is going to put extra pressure on me each day and evening, but if that's what it takes I will do it, but I worry about their social lives as both are lucky to have good friends where we are now. I also worry that the money I am putting into this house is the only money I have in the world. What if I move and have horrible neighbours or new build horror stories, or the kids really hate it. I'm putting every last penny into this. I so badly want to get it right for the 3 of us. I'm not used to making such big choices on my own. I go back and fourth on if its the right thing to do or not. So much going on at once I feel like I'm losing the plot....help :)

OP posts:
sugarbum · 09/10/2018 15:45

Firstly.
Well done for starting the process. You are doing the right thing moving somewhere where you have support.
We just moved into a new build. Its fab. Some issues. No horror stories.
The neighbours are absolutely fine.
Secondly
Are you working and able to do the back and forth for now? Half an hour isn't far, especially for the 13 year old. My sons school is a 45 minute drive away (although he gets the train - is there any public transport they can get?) I would leave them where they are for now. Investigate the local schools near your new house though. Find out if there are actually spaces. Put them on waiting lists if necessary. You don't have to take a place if you don't want it.

Thirdly
Its natural to worry about big life decisions. Moving home is one of the biggest. But you are doing this for the benefit of your family and it sounds like its the right thing for you.

Good luck

scaredofchange · 09/10/2018 19:16

Thank you so much for taking the time reply. I do work but I can still do the school runs. I’m just really worried they will lose their social life if they aren’t local, and will be more driving evening & weekends. The new house is a nicer area & will be better in the long run for the kids but they have been through so much already. It’s so hard being a parent at times

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