OK - DH and I have had a discussion about our future and now we need advice ...... (anyone moved from the UK abroad to start afresh)

[FoghornLeghorn]

As some of you will know DH and I (& our 2 DD's) are currently living with MIL as we sold our house last year, recent purchase has fallen through and now we are back to square one.
DH is very unhappy in his work (he is a carpenter/painter & decorater), doesn't get appreciated, sent to do other people's work, extremely underpaid etc - the usual really.

So .......

Today we have been talking and want to look into moving abroad (DH's suggestion), DH suggested initially the likes of Canada/America, I suggested Spain/Portugal etc.
We have no house to sell as living with MIL, I am a SAHM, DH is self employed (sub contracting from big firm), DD1 is nearly 3, DD1 is 6 months. Basically as of things we are thinking are currently working in our favour, there really isn't anything keeping us here at the minute so it seems like perfect timing.
Problem is we have no money behind us at present - equity from house sale got us out of debt. What we have come up with at present is finding a fully furnished apartment so we didn't have to worry about shipping all of our furniture etc, somewhere we can rent on a 6 month basis - try to get enough money behind us to live off of while we are over there in case we struggle finding work.

What I am hoping for from this post is a) success stories, b) advice on DH finding work in his trade c) any general advice people can give

Do you both speak the language - Spanish or Portuguese? It could go a long way to helping with a transition like that.

my SIL and BIL moved to spain for 9m when their ds was 3mo and they found it v lonely. that said BIL is an electrician and had more work than he could manage, they could quite easily have lived v comfortably over there but in the end they (or rather she) found it too isolated.

www.britishexpats.com has a message board with Brits living in lots of different areas of the world. Also the moving back to the uk board there could give you clues as to the possible pitfalls.

America can be tough to get into if you're not sponsored by an employer, highly skilled or starting a business, although I believe there's currently a shortage of hgv drivers but don't quote me on that, Canada takes something like 2+ years and Australia about the same but a bit shorter. You might be better off looking at Europe if you can manage with the foreign language situation.

If you have a lot of family support it can be tough to suddenly be somewhere by yourself with no-one you trust for childcare and no friends.

This probably sounds negative, but it's just realistic. If you can overcome these then living in another country can be a great experience and I would highly recommend it!

He would get work doing what he is doing. But if going to Spain/Portugal you really do need to speak the lingo otherwise he'll end up being employed on the black by Brits. The penalties for being caught working on the black are very high so don't be tempted.

Kids will help you to settle in. You need to approach the Mayor (I am talking about European countries here) and get friendly with him/her as they will have lots of useful contacts.

Canada and America won't let you in. You have to work out your point score. More points means you are less likely. I think that's it anyway. If you are over 30 that counts against you, they like you to be a graduate or have a skilled trade - which your dh has, to know someone in that country, to more or less have work lined up and the fees for moving to Canada or America are extortionate.

We lived in France for 2 years so feel free to CAT me if you need any advice.

I used to work on a big BBC series that sent lots of people abroad to try out living there (worked with about 25+ families who went all over the place), so can tell you a little bit about all sorts of countries - and generally about people's experiences as well.

Am happy to answer any kind of questions you want on here, or CAT me, but generally I would say;

there are far worse professions than carpenter/decorator, and it is possible to find work just with other expats if you are clever about doing so, but all countries have their pitfalls (e.g. setting up in France as a sole trader is v hard and you have to take exams, and that the building boom in Spain is on the turn so work might be harder there.)

And yes, I think your six month plan is the right way forward, you do need to try it out before committing your furniture etc to it.

But it is really hard setting up in a new country, so you have to really want to live there to make it work. I think you need to decide what you want from a new country - and, perhaps whether or not you couldn't get it more easily from another part of the UK.

And without money behind you I think you'd find it hard to get into Australia, Canada or NZ, although it is worth checking what jobs they are after.

And, most importantly, you don't ever leave your problems behind by moving - people who want a quieter life always ended up just as busy, etc etc. So you do have to be sure that you really do want to live abroad, and that it will give you something that you can't get by staying here, even if that is just an amazing roller-coaster adventure. But what it isn't is a magic pill which solves everything.

Hope this helps - do ask anything and I will do what I can to answer.

My friend moved to Italy a couple of years ago and then found out she was pregnant.
they had bought an old farmhouse tht needed work doing to it.
They love it, and she is now pregnant gain!!

But, they had a reasonable amount of equity to put down, and her boyfriend works contracting. they had to come back here for 5 months in the winter as they couldn't afford to continue renovating and they had no heating.

since going back they enjoy it even more, and I don't think they'd move bacjk here. They spent a few months visiting areas tha they liked to see which was the best for them.

They didn't have any furniture tot take and ended up buying most of ut from Ikea in rRome!!

they desperately needa chippie, so am sure other people are in the same situation. They speak pretty much fluent Italina now, and when tey went there they had some Italian, mostly conversational. No one speaks engluish where they livce.

Just to add that we had no equity when we moved to France. We had enough to live on but we rented and dh had to go through the whole unemployment process for a while whilst I taught English in schools. Teaching English, even if you've no experience, can help keep your heads above water for a while. Almost all ex-Pats have done this.

try angloinfo.com there is lots of different countries with anglo expat communities - french riviera, barcelona etc.

and there is a spanish expats site as well - funnily enough called spainishexpats or something similar.

My parents moved to OZ when we were young, my dad had a trade (plumbing) and my mum was a secretary with solid creds. It cost them a fair bit to apply but on the second attempt were accepted and has made them morgated free from the time they were there (mid 30's)
but big move!! Was the best thing they did though. Are a lot happier. Not that I'm suggesting Oz, but getting away from the UK pound made life simpler. They sold their house here though and bought with their equity.

I don't think I'm convinced that this would work for you. I know, i'm judging on just one post but hey, this is mumsnet! and I'm sneaking this in as your category C) General Advice

If you are living with your MIL, with no mortgage, wouldn't this be a good time for your dh to set up his own business with those fantastic skills he has? He doesn't have to sub contract, he can really be his own boss.

He may get a hell of a lot more job satisfaction from that?

I think it would be incredibly stressful to try to set up home in another country with no money behind you

Tend to agree with HG. Let him prove he can work for himself here before he takes you off to a strange land where you can't learn the language and will be isolated and bored. (Would not be easy to get into US and Australia etc because of the points system). Then when you're both fluent in Spanish and he's been over there established work etc and you've commuted between here and there a bit then move to Spain.

I know it isn't very far away but have you thought about Ireland? Some friends of ours moved to Galway a few years back and are very happy. They are near the coast, they managed to buy a bigger home too as the prices at that time were much less. It isn't too far for visitors either.

I think if I was considering emigration, I'd want to have a strong desire to live in a particular place rather than just getting away from the UK. It sounds a bit like the latter for me but maybe I'm wrong.

If he's a good carpenter/painter & decorator then he should def think about setting up on his own here - dealing with his customers direct would get him a) appreciated, and b) more work through recommendations.

Better idea to begin with than flitting to somewhere with different rules & regs and a different language (although I can see the weather would be tempting )

I can see you've had some good replies already.

Only thing I would add is that moving abroad can cost a lot more than you would expect. There can be all sorts of unexpected problems and hidden costs which eat in to any money reserve you may have.

If you're living with MIL happily enough it could be a good opp to save up for whatever you decide to do. Moving abroad is fantastic but it doesn't solve all your problems, like someone else has already said.

Good luck

My sister moved to Spain 2 years ago. She found it really hard even when knowing the language really well, as things are very different, and you wont know in advance WHAT will be different, you find out as you go along. Insurance for example is an area she has really struggled, as it is very different rules and regulations. Hiring good workmen has been another problem, as many over quote something ridiculous thinking foreigners are fithy rich, with her ending up buying services from expats, but they dont have insurance, and so her house insurance was invalidated when something went wrong (boiler incorrectly fitted and caused a leak inside her wall)... Her flat has been flooded twice in one year (from faulty plumbing in flat above), and the insurance company is just saying tough luck we know our terms and conditions cover flooding, we wont pay out a penny cos we just wont, so SUE US. As my sister knows the language she has ended up as a "consultant" to other expats who dont speak spanish, and have no clue regards to their bank accounts, rental agreements, taking their car to the garage, and even hesitate to go to Ikea, as most of the expats just simply find they bang their head against the brickwall and dont get anywhere.

My advise to you is simply to think carefully, learn the language, read up about how things works. Moving to another country is not alsways easy, I have done it twice.

I agree with those who say your husband should try prove himself here first, though.

Firstly make sure you have enough points and qualify for the country your looking to go to - most countries only let you apply if your occupation is on their "wanted" list. I know for Australia you usually have to prove you have a substantial amount of capital before moving as you cant claim benefits for at least 2 years. Also if you use a consultant to do the visa application it can be quite costly so factor this in. Medicals, police checks etc also add up.

I also agree with your hubby setting up here first, its very hard to move to a strange country and start over. At least if he starts a business here, he'll be used to making his own contacts, the paperwork etc. Remember if he does work, you'll be home on your own until you make new friends - could be quite isolated for a time.

Thanks for all of the responses, am going to read through now. Have been away for few days