Age gaps between kids: when's best to have next baby?

[walbert]

Have 6m old dd, hubby already broody and wants to try for another! I'm thinking of all the lifting etc of dd with the general skills they have developed at this age to move while i wouldf be pregnant, yet other folk say a close age gap is good: also, how does bedroom sharing between young children work (third bed was knocked into 2nd bed for huge rom, so 3rd poss bedroom is in loft which don't want to put too young a child in yet). Any tales of age gaps and what you've found to be a good or bad experience would be fab!

I've got a 2 and a half gap btw my two.
I had horrid morning / all day sickness with my 2nd that I didn't have with my first. So being pregnant and looking after a 2 year old was ahrd work.
For me personally I think a closer gap would have been a nightmare.
But my sister has 18 months between her two and has survived

It got me thinking when i just called to see a friend who has a ds and dd with 14 months between them. She said it was hard work but they're really ggod friends, play well and she thought it might have been easier while still in 'baby mode', eg being up in night and nappys etc. Probably i'm being a bit soft coz dd has slept through two nights on trot and sister has said i can have her double buggy, as though it is a sign!!!

I think at any age sometimes they get on really well and other times they'll fight like cat and dog.
The pushchair thing is a good pount. My ds is two and a half stone and dd is 21lbs. The double pushchair is very heavy and completely back knackering!!

pros and cons for any age gap of course

mine have three years between and they play together so well and have never fallen out - it was easier for me too

all my friends had a much closer gap and felt it was right for them and thought i was a bit odd - i think they tended to find it hard work but wouldn't have it any other way

Hmmm, not sure... doesn't help that we saw on news piccies of new- newborn baby and we both got broody. Sigh! I'd even go through childbirth again!!

Hi walbert,
I say there's nothing worng with a small age gap...I have 2 ds' and they are 13 months apart,,and it's good!

I am due December, will have a 16-month gap between mine. Have found the first trimester to be hard work - I get very tired when pregnant - but if it weren't for the fact that I work from home, I think it would have been okay, as could have napped when dd naps. As it is, I work while she naps. Knackering!

Have read (but not sure how true this is) that optimum spacing is 18 months or less, or 4 years or more. Reason being that between 18 months and 4 years, children are very selfish, the world revolves aorund them etc - before 18 months, have not got highly developed sense of 'self' yet, so not so threatened by a sibling, after 4, old enough to rationalise it and be a bit more independent of mum.

Not sure about that, but hey, sounds good to me! There are 4 years btwn my brother and I and mum says that it was great. We still played together as kids and he was a big help to her with me - even bought her wet washcloths in early labour! Awwww ....

Darn! Now getting broody again

16 months here - have to say the first few weeks were very very tough and i did ask myself a few times 'what have i done!!!' BUT having said that NOW its great as they play together, like the same things and can generally do the same activities together. DS was a little bit jealous at first but would say he was too young to really understand what was going on!!!
Would agree that the double buggy is one of the downsides!!!!!

My gaps are

5.5 yrs
14 months
2 years

between the youngest ones each time. Overall the 14 months is the easiest/best though hard work whilst younger.

We have 5 years between DS and DD. They share a bedroom. There'll be another DD soon. I think any age gap will work, depends on the children's personality too.

14m between mine.
Wouldn't change it for the world!

15 mins between mine

Am actually now quite glad its 15 mins not 15 months

We had this debate. Dh was keener than I to have a small gap, but he, shall we say, talked me round. There are 19 mths between my two and it is good. I do think it depends largely on the personalities, and to some degree the sex of the children. Career-wise it worked better for me to have them close together as I could be a SAHM for both of them until they were in nursery. Transport can be a bit of a pain with 2 littlies, but nothing that can't be sorted.
Of course, it also largely depends on what you feel up to. After my 2nd, I just didn't feel ready to have another child for quite some time, whereas after 1st felt more up to it.

Not sure how i feel: dd is, i must admit, really good, but i'm certainly not expecting this second time round, silly thing is, i'm enjoying dd so much i keep thinking if i'm preggers, will i miss any good bits with another baby in tow? Is that daft?

my sister has just 12 months between her two and has found it really difficult, her ds is constantly doing things to hurt her dd, and gets very jealous

I have 3 years between mine and it's been much easier than I expected as ds1 is just old enough to understand that I have to do things for ds2, and understood abuot the baby when i was pg, and hasn't been jealous at all

I always wanted to have 2 years between my children but now I'm very glad it's 3, and if I have another it won't be until ds2 is nearing 3yrs!