Advice please for my SIL, nephew being picked on at school for colour of his skin...

[DrNortherner]

She is Iranian, her dh is white. Nephew has beautiful skin colour as you can imagine. Kids at school are calling him brown boy, stinky boy and saying his skin is the colour of camel poo

He burst into tears at dinner tonight and does not want to go to school.

SIL grew up in London and never expeienced this. They now live near us in a predominatly white town. He is the only coloured boy in his year at school.

Anyone have any advice on dealing with this? Or any tactics d nephew can use to help him deal with this.

Thanks so much.

To start with, she has to speak to the school, this is totally unaceptable!

About the tactics, how old is your nephew?

He is 7, nearly 8.

there is a book recommended to multiracial adopters called (I think) WISE UP or something like that teaches kids how to deal with this kind of thing. He may be a little young for it but it would be a start, I'll look through my notes and see what they recommend for racism and small children.

Has she spoken to the head about bullying?

What about getting the school to arrange some cultural events at school and trips to things like a local(ish) Sikh Temple or whatever.

The school have to deal with this quickly and decisively.
It needs stamping out, and the name-callers should be brought to task.
If it isn't dealt with head on, then it will continue and no doubt get worse with time.
SIL should have a meeting with the headteacher asap, put her concerns in writing if necessary, and copy it to the head of governors.
Also request a copy of the school's anti-bullying policy.
for your poor nephew.

Good idea about sikh temple - we are near to Leeds so lots of choice there.

She will talk to his teacher, but will advise the head should be involved too.

I would go straight to the head teacher if I was her. The teacher can only say that she would try to pay attention to what the children are saying while the headteacher can take a more school-wide approach and start the ball rolling asap, rather than expecting for another incident to happen for the head to be informed.

I'll be back later, DS has just wake up!

Holly van gulden uses the "wise up" strategy in dealing with racism or differnce generally and recommends practising it with your child...

When confornted with racism the choise is...

Walk away
Share something (perhaps explain that his mother is iranian)
Educate - make a deliberate attempt to eduate the person
say it's Private and stop the conversation.

Books on racism

N Simon - All kinds of families and Why am I different
J Green - dealing with racism

Agree absolutely the shcool need to be involved but your SIL also needs to show him how to deal with this, he needs to be equipped as it sadly won't be the last time it happens. One of the reasons I won;t be moving out of London with my DS.

Thanks guys

This is why I love MN so. Am off to bed now but well check back in tomorrow.

xx

don;t know if this is any good dealing ith racism for children

Poor your nephew. I agree that his parents need to go to the headteacher.

Would they consider moving to a more mixed area? I think it can be really hard to stand out as almost the only non-white child in the area, even if you are accepted and celebrated.