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Original poster

coke? at childrens parties

21 replies

notmefornow · 18/08/2004 01:25

my friend has recently got together with man-of-her-dreams father of her youngest child. (he doesnt live with her) its what she has wanted for a long time and will do anything it seems to keep him. he has treated her like scum in the past. we had a joint birthday party for her child and mine recently and i discovered her partner snorting whatever it was in the house. she was totally aware of this. was the hell has happened to her? a house full...and i mean FULL of children and she lets him do this? if they want to do it then its their own business but i really dont think its appropriate at a kiddies party.

OP posts:

Titania · 18/08/2004 07:32

thats terrible. Did you say anything to her? what was her response?

dejags · 18/08/2004 07:37

I would go mad myself - you never know what sort of reaction a person could have (violent, ill etc etc).

Absolutely not appropriate

hmb · 18/08/2004 08:00

God, that is awful.

I had thought this thread would be about the drink!

motherinferior · 18/08/2004 08:57

I thought it was about the drink too - all geared up to say 'oh, what the hell, doesn't matter'; well, kids' parties are stressful but I think snorting coke isn't probably the way to cope! Idiot. And yes, it does feel wrong at a kids' party to me.

daisy1999 · 18/08/2004 09:06

that's dreadfull!

Fio2 · 18/08/2004 09:07

it is disgusting, i thought it was about pop aswell

marialuisa · 18/08/2004 09:13

How close a friendship do you think you have? could you say to her that whilst you respect that theycan do what they want you were offended that they thought it ok to do this at a kids' party and had they considered the consequences if one of the kids got hold of it?

Unfortunately we know quite a few people who think this sort of thing is ok, we have just chosen not to spend time with them and not to let DD visit their houses. My dad was a bit of a coke fiend and by the time i was 9 I knew exactly what he was up to and was very unhappy about it. I ceased contact with him for many years and this was a contributing factor.

Piffleoffagus · 18/08/2004 09:27

hell I cmae on here about to offer an opinion about gut and tooth rotting fizzy drinks...
ABSOLUTELY no, I'd be for telling police myself...

Blu · 18/08/2004 11:37

Oh dear. It's sad that she had no respect for the fact that it was your party, too, and sad that she is so desparate to keep the attention of this man that she will let him behave so badly unchallenged.
If you want to be friends with her, just see her away from him - but it might give her some perspective on the situation she is in if you cool contact with her - and let her know why, if you're up to it.

myermay · 18/08/2004 12:13

Message withdrawn

Thomcat · 18/08/2004 12:45

That's gross and sad and awful and bang out of order. Why would he choose to take a classs A drug in a house full of kids having fun at a party. what a saddo, what a weirdo.

hatter · 18/08/2004 14:08

I was about to start off with a - possibly poor taste - joke about not another drugs thread. And it is!!! What is this guy thinking of? I get two pictures in my mind and neither are remotely attractive - one is of a very immature idiot, who's just discovered drugs and thinks they're something to show off about and do whenever he can; the second is of someone who has a serious addiction. I think you should say something to your friend. does she know? You need to tell her that you feel he has treated you and a whole load of children with total disrespect.

champs · 18/08/2004 14:16

agree with blu, it was your party too.
sounds like the guy may have a prob tho, if it was just a fun thing he would/could have waited till later but an addict wouldn't/couldn't wait. they would not care about concequences to self or even kiddies. if your friend is aware of this she may need you for support. i would confront her tho , have you btw? does she use?

in answer to the question it is bang out of order, it could have been a kid who discovered him, or even got hold of drug. you have been put in a v.bad place, wat if one of the parents had discovered him, they may have held you resposible as you had invited their child. I would have a joint party with her in future just incase.

champs · 18/08/2004 14:17

i too thought it was fizzy pop!!

lou33 · 18/08/2004 14:21

How did he react when you found him?

MeanBean · 18/08/2004 14:43

Maybe I'm over the top, but I would go absolutely ape-shit if I knew that my child was in a house where there was cocaine and where one of the adults in charge was snorting it. I wouldn't let him go there ever again. People shouldn't offer to look after children if they are going to be in an incapable state to do it. I'm shocked!

Easy · 18/08/2004 15:06

No, NO, No.

This is appalling, and if I'd discovered him, it would have taken a great deal to persuade me not to report him to the police.

At the very least I would drop the friend like a brick while she cohabits with this man, and condones his behaviour.

pepsi · 18/08/2004 16:46

Id vent my disapproval and just be upfront and just not go to their house any more. If you still want to see her then do it your house or meet up elsewhere when he is not around. Id just underline the risks to her and her children and be sure she understands that if a child gets hold of this stuff it could kill them and she and her boyfriend would be prosecuted. Id be clear that is up to them what the do in their own home but that you just dont approve of drugs, especially when children are involved. I would have blown my top and caused a right scene if it had been me though, but when typing advice on Mumsnet you can afford to be that bit calmer. The word wanker did spring to mind.

blossomhill · 18/08/2004 17:16

I would distance myself asap. I would be furious that this was happening under the same roof as my child,or any child for that matter. I would let my feelings be know as I would have felt so strongly about it. What planet do some people live on regarding things like this?
As you say what they do in their own time is their won business but was very unthoughful and irresponsible to do it at a kids party.

hatter · 18/08/2004 20:30

who's house was this? I'm guessing, but I think it might be your friends. In which case you should make her aware that she is committing a crime - can't remember the exact details but allowing someone to take drugs in your house is an offence - and were anything unfortunate to come of it is treated very seriously. I know someone who went to prison when someone else od'd in her house.

Paula71 · 18/08/2004 22:16

How many have come wading into this thread ready to rant about tooth-rotting rollacola!

Oh he sure sounds like man-of-her-dreams material alright! I would go absolutely ballistic! But not at her, at him, I would seriously rip him to shreds verbally and make him feel so small he never dares do that again. I would also band about a threat of police etc. saying that no child should have to live with that.

And you can tell her this one: I live across the road from druggies. Have had a moan on mumsnet about them before. Anyway, they have two dds, one of 4 the other 18 months.

When the youngest dd was about 3 months old, her elder sister gave her a "sweetie." Turned out to be drugs and the poor babe nearly died (don't know what drug it was- pill form anyway.) So if Prince Charming leaves his crap around it will be her children that get the consequences.

The eldest dd wanders around but all the kids in the cul-de-sac have been forbidden to play with her just in case. It is heartbreaking to watch but that is what happens when people find out a parent (or in this case step-parent) is doing drugs like that. The children always suffer.

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