a story for Thursday - go on, you know you want to add some...

[SenoraPostrophe]

[this will probably die the quickest thread death ever. but here goes]

She stared at her reflection in the mirror and wondered how it could have happened. Behind her, she could just see his ....

Then she realised his cock was so small she couldn't find it to chop it off, so went to look for the magnifying glass, leaving him unable to move with shock and horror at his impending fate!!!

he wondered, briefly, about schizophrenic women and stereotypes thereof. Could they explain the aggression and the wailing? or was she really...

just suffering from the worst PMT known to womankind, which turned her into a raving...

[bugger, crossed posts]

..vampire. blood and the moon and all that.

could those black magic chocs help after all in some arcane way?

lunging forward, she grasped the cellophane wrapped box of delights.....scissors forgotten, tumbling to the floor!

mmmm chocolate

Dh heaved a huge sigh of relief that his member was safe and, protecting it with the lampshade, pointed out

'you won't lose your baby weight by eating Black Magic you know'

along with his penis

which the dog turned his nose up at!

but it was too grissly and the dog choked on the penis.

Fio!!! pmsl!!!

He was depressed and reached for the vodka bottle....but it was.........................................

gone

the dog realised that he'd drank the whiskey when his bitch came over last weekend.....'now' he thought. 'what can i drink' he needed help, this drinking was becoming a problem...

do you know, maybe we should submit this for the Orange prize.

The gardner came the next morning in his blue jeep and saw the dog spread eagle on the door step....'you alright mate'? he asked.

He looked for the dog's owner only to find her typing a thread on mnet titled

AIBU to expect my dog to wag his tail when he sees me?

'need your bush trimmed love?? ' the gardner asked her...'your dog looks abit sick'