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Original poster

Would it be cheeky?

12 replies

dejags · 17/08/2004 12:13

I am due our second baby on 12th Sep - although this may be 29th August as the scan and LMP dates differ.

I asked a friend to look after our son when I go into labour ages ago - she lives 100m up the road and it fits in nicely.

We have all just received an invite for a 30th Birthday party in London on 4th Sep. Would it be cheeky of me to ask if she will be going. She really is the only person I can rely on so making another arrangement for that day will be very difficult - also what do I do about drinking. It is going to be a very boozy affair but I can't really ask her to stick to 2 drinks can I.

I know it's a one in 20 chance that this will be the day but knowing my luck... what would you do?

OP posts:
bundle · 17/08/2004 12:15

when was your first one born in relation to due dates? mine were both late..

Original poster
dejags · 17/08/2004 12:18

Bundle - 8 days early... that would make it 4th Sep...

OP posts:
Blu · 17/08/2004 12:20

What about having her round for a coffee and having a little 'production meeting' - how you will let her know you're in labour, has she got your house keys (to come and get your DS's things if she needs them etc, and ask her what other committments she has during the relevant dates, and how that will effect her committment. For instance, is she planning to be more than an hours journey away at any time, etc. That may make her realise she has to consider things like that - and you can both talk around the possibilities.

bundle · 17/08/2004 12:23

i see what you mean...

Original poster
dejags · 17/08/2004 12:29

Good suggestion Blu - I will do that. Have just taken the bull by the horns and sent her an email asking if she is going (hope she won't be offended). It would take at least a couple of hours for her to get back if she does go into London.

This has been one of the most stressful aspects of my pregnancy - I am seriously contemplating getting a taxi to the hospital and having the baby alone - at least I'll be sure DS is in the safe hands of DH

OP posts:
bundle · 17/08/2004 12:31

dejags do you use any babysitters who you could trust to do this sort of thing? or know anyone who has a childminder? or a doula?

Original poster
dejags · 17/08/2004 13:56

Hi Bundle - nobody that I would trust or could rely on to come out in the middle of the night. I am not really a doula type person - I would rather labour alone than with anybody other than DH.

We have spoken on the telephone and as much as he is desparate to be there when DS2 makes his way into the world we have agreed that he will stay with DS1 if necessary. I just cant bring myself to ask my friend to stay sober on the off chance.

OP posts:
Blu · 17/08/2004 14:15

You could always set off for hospital, and DH catch you up when (sober) help arrives. If she has had a couple of drinks, she would need to get a taxi to you- but she's not likely to be totally legless to the extent that she can't keep an eye on DS, is she? And if you go into labour that day, she can't go to the party, can she? If you are axious, tell her late afternoon on the day of the party that you are having slight twinges - go, but stay 'on call' in case you need her. That way, she will make sure she doesn't get legless!

And stop panicking! Even with a 2nd birth, it's not likely to be less than 4 hours from first suspicion to delivery, is it?

Original poster
dejags · 17/08/2004 14:26

You are right, I am probably a bit over-anxious. It just been a problem right from the word go. If she is going then I'll go to the hospital on my own and DH can catch up next morning - I doubt she would leave mid-party to be with DS. This is the major drawback to living in a foreign country - no reliable family around to help out.

I would worry if I wasn't worrying..

OP posts:
Blu · 17/08/2004 16:36

But she is your friend! I think if you let her know how much this means to you - that she is your surrogate family in this situation, and how much you need her, then she will feel honoured to have such a crucial role in the birth of your child. I would! Don't be so afraid to think she will want to help you. If you have the planning chat, I think you can discuss what you will do if you go into labour just before the party - and how will she respond?

Original poster
dejags · 17/08/2004 18:45

Hi Blu,

Am going to invite her round this weekend for dinner to talk about it.

Hopefully having gone to her wedding at 35/37 weeks pregnant on the hottest day of the year will have scored me some brownie points ...

OP posts:
Twiglett · 17/08/2004 18:49

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