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Original poster

Would you let your 8 & 6 yr olds...

93 replies

SoupDragon · 31/05/2007 10:12

... walk to the post box along residential roads where it involves crossing the not-busy road. It's out of sight of the house, probably 3 minutes wlk there and 5 back (it's uphill )

I can't decide. If it didn't involve crossing the road I'd let them but they've not crossed a road alone before and I'm paranoid about it having been run over myself.

OP posts:
soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:26

Yes, Twigs - that's why you have to teach them to do it safely.

We always let the children decide when it is safe to cross teh road, when we are with them. They take turns about. They stop at the kerb, look left, listen, look right, look left and then if it is safe to do so, cross.

We've been practicing for ohhh, about 4 years now. It is time for them to put into practice what they have learned.

What is the other option - teenagers who have no clue as to how to be safe when tehy are out alone?

twinsetandpearls · 31/05/2007 11:27

I let my five year old go to the shop with a twleve year old and that involves crossing a road.

I let my five year old play on our green with an eight year old which involved crossing a road. I do watch them though as we live almost at the end of the road so can see from our house the road and the green.

I ahve often done the folowing secretly, I often do this when I am camping as we let dd have more freedom but I still worry.

But i am quite relaxed about things like that and neurotic about others.

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:27

the shop btw is on the same side of the road and only about 400 yards away across a 'close'. Even so people whizz around corners.

Twiglett · 31/05/2007 11:28

yes of course you teach them from the earliest age and you're there judging speeds

a child under the age of 9 or 10 has NO IDEA OF SPEED .. no ability to judge for themselves

its feckin' dangerous and I'm appalled

Twiglett · 31/05/2007 11:28

have started another generic thread so that it doesn't seem as personal btw

soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:30

I can't think of one occasion in the last 2 years where either of them have made a wrong judgement call.

They are very sensible children and it is time to let them go 'live' I believe.

My DD is almost 9 though.

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:30

Soapbox - with Twiglett on this. THer is 'scientific' evidence that actually states a childs periphial vision' isnt developed enough to be able to accurately judge speed and distance. From the age of 10ish it is developed. Isnt about have un-road wise teenagers. Is about ensuring they are phyiscally capoable of judging speed etc. Also if a child has been crossing roads since a young age surely by the time they reach teenager years they could instead become 'over confident' and careless??

ChasingSquirrels · 31/05/2007 11:31

am actually shocked at the 9yo not having any idea of what a cr can do - but that's cos ds1 saw a 7/8yo get knocked down when he was 2yo - and he (at 4.5y) knows damn well what a car can do.

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:32

Am off to other thread i think as tbh I am getting irritated. Ds is 7 - he lives, he plays and goes out to all sorts of places, he is happy and a child. The fact is that the roads are busier than when i was a child and that there are significant risks. Get fed up witht he inference that you are stopping child from 'living' by being sensible and careful.

soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:34

I suppose my own experiences as a child come into play too. I was crossing busy roads quite comfortably from the age of around 6yo. My mum ran the Tufty Club, and we were very very aware of how to approach crossing a road.

I think we are in grave danger of smothering our children with an increasingly risk averse attitude to their safety. OTOH I am a pretty risk averse person. As parenting often is, it is a fine balancing act.

soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:35

No it was go 'live' as in putting something from practice into reality, like an IT system going live. Not living live!

DrunkenSailor · 31/05/2007 11:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:42

interesting soapbox - are you going to be the same when they recieve their sex education in junoirs?? Putting into practice?

ChasingSquirrels · 31/05/2007 11:43

well hopefully she will have already educated them about sex BEFORE juniors, and it's completely different, what a strange comparison.

MrsWeasley · 31/05/2007 11:44

I wouldnt let my current 8 and 6 yo's but thats because they would forget all the rules etc but my older DS (now 10yo) when he was 8 I would have let him!

soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:45

What an odd thing to say Awen?

However, were they to choose to have sex I would prefer it was safe sex!

Original poster
SoupDragon · 31/05/2007 11:46

Calm down Twiglett.

"and you leave your kids in the house and go out in the car? ... what would happen if YOU had an accident?" Yes I do. And if I were not to come back or there was a problem, they've been told to call on a neighbour. I only do it when the older ones are in the house, not if BabyDragon is alone.

OP posts:
Original poster
SoupDragon · 31/05/2007 11:47

What a ridiculous comment about sex education, Awen

OP posts:
FioFio · 31/05/2007 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:49

Why odd? You said "No it was go 'live' as in putting something from practice into reality, like an IT system going live. Not living live! "

Ds is practising crossing the road safely and is learning what is safe. He will not be physically mature enough to do so until his is 10 and hopefully he will be emotionally mature enough. Means him learning for next 3 years before going 'live'.

When they are 10-11 they learn about sexual education, being safe etc. They will not be phyiscally mature enough for at least anouther 4 years (usually) and not emotionally mature for about another 6 years (usually) so therefore will hopefully not go 'live' till then.

Therefore just because they are learning about something doesnt mean they need to go live ASAP rather when they are physically and mentally mature enough..

soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:49

Fio

soapbox · 31/05/2007 11:50

Do children practice having sex round your way then Awen

We've talked about it - but I think I'll leave them to practice it until they are a little older!

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:52

Not a ridicuous comment thank you very much soup dragon and if you could acutally read I havent personally attacked your comments calling them ridiculous buit I forget that obviously OP are allowed overall opinion over others

MamaMaiasaura · 31/05/2007 11:54

You know what, I understand what I mean. They learn about it in school but they arent ready to put it in practice. I think you know perfectly well what i meant but if you insist on being faecitous - please continue. I really dont give a toss. I dont agre with your views on children of such a young age crossing the road and will not do this with my dc. What you do is your choice. I would hope they continue to cross safely and that it works for you.

Desiderata · 31/05/2007 11:54

Well, well!

I found Awen's comments helpful. I wasn't aware about the speed judgement/peripheral vision, etc in children under secondary school age.

It's very difficult to know what to do for the best. A child was knocked down in my village last summer whilst on the zebra crossing ... (he was 10), by a woman in a 4X4 talking on her mobile.

Fortunately, he was OK after a short spell in hospital.

I don't know. I think I'll sit on the fence with this one .. it's probably safer

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