This could go under lots of topics ......but i need some support/advice/kind words

[mosschops30]

My father was diagnosed with Parkinsons 7 years ago. Recently I got him seen at a specialist centre as things had become a lot worse. They think hes been mis-diagnosed and actually has dementia/lewy body disease

My mum threatened to leave him this week, we were all supposed to go on holiday this weekend, we are still going but they have now cancelled. My mum took him to GP this morning after he collapsed with stomach pains and he also has increased confusion. He is now being admitted to hospital but my mum has just read the letter and the GP says 'I suspect acute carcinoma' he has lost 2 stone in 4 weeks.

I'ma student nurse but know nothing about carcinoma apart from its cancer.

Can anyone help, I am so upset, I cant be there to support them, im so

moss wish I had some advice for you you poor thing

Moss, I'm so sorry for you.

Oh Mosschops i'm so sorry

mosscops I am so so sorry
Nothing practical but really feel for you xxxxxxxxx

Mosschops

I really feel for you that he's had such a lot of misdiagnosis. At least now they have a better idea of what they're dealing with they are in a better position to give him the best care available.

Why is your Mum threatening to leave him? Is it the stress of his illness, or are they having problems anyway? It may be that he will need to have some kind of home care when he comes out of hospital if she isn't coping well.

How long will you be away on holiday? if it's just for the bank holiday then it's likely you'll be back before there are any significant developments, and anyway they'll have you on the end of the phone, won't they?

Carcinoma is cancer yes, but it's a cover-all term, and it's only suspected at this point, so try not to let your imagination run wild. They obviously need to run a lot of tests, and the best thing you can do is ask lots of questions of the doctors so you and your family are well informed. Your Mum might not be feeling strong enough right now to do that.

You poor thing, I really hope you get some positive news and the very best treatment for your Dad. Try your best to relax this weekend, even if you can't "have fun"

OK have just put my nurses hat on she must have read somethin wrong because cancer cant be acute can it?

thank you all for your kind words . Banana I cant be there, they live 300 miles away, unfortunately we are away for 2 weeks in Menorca. But i will have to fly home if anything happens

That must put you under a lot more stress. These things always time themselves to produce the most guilt, don't they? Sod's law.

There's little you could do besides offer your support anyway. He's in the best place right now. I really do hope for a positive outcome for all of you. Best of luck.

No news from my mum yet so dont know whats happening! I have phoned a close friend of my parents who lives nearby and they are gonna look after her whilst Im away. They are pleased its finally going to be sorted after so many months of helplessness and decline.
Just wish i could be there

bump!

Hey mosschops, how are you doing today? (or are you on holiday?)

Hi banana, no not on hols til Monday I am supposed to be doing my assignment for college but lurking on here instead

Thanks for asking, my father was admitted properly last night and they are doing some tests this week, a colonoscopy, a gastroscopy and a bone scan. What worries me is the bone scan as it doesnt seem to fit with anything else. I think they are looking for bone mets, meaning he has a primary cancer somewhere. My mum keeps asking me questions and I keep fobbing her off like you do with patients when pretty much everyone knows what it is but you need all the tests to be coonclusive . I just hope and pray he will be ok whilst I'm away, have told my mum I will come home if needed.

Life is sometimes very crap and on top of it all I'm still worrying about my flight which isnt helping matters at all

what's your worry about the flight mosschops? anything we can do to help?

How worrying mosschops, I hope they're able to give you an accurate diagnosis soon. I know it will be very difficult but try and relax on your holiday as best you can.

much love x

When my Mum was ill she was diagnosed with secondary bone cancer which originated in the breast, they did masses of tests before they finally diagnosed it, but in her case the cancer had been there for ages (she'd been going to the docs with an itchy armpit for like 2 years before they finally thought to test her for possible malignancy)

The fact that they're doing so many tests probably just means they're covering all bases, which is a good thing!

Is your Mum asking you for explanations of what the medical terms mean etc? You perhaps need to gently explain that you're a student nurse, and it would be wrong of you to try and decipher his notes, especially if you were to get it wrong and worry everyone unnecessarily. Just keep offering your support but let her know you know as much as she does until the test results come in.

How come you're worried about your flight? Have you flown before? Try not to worry too much, there are thousands of flights every day to places like Menorca, they know what they're doing. Perhaps you could get some kalms or rescue remedy from boots before you go? They'd ease your pre-flight nerves and probably help you get through any stress with your Dad's situation too.

I hope you manage to have a nice holiday, I'm off for the weekend myself now (nothing exciting, cat and house sitting for my sister while she goes to cornwall, lucky thing) so I probably won't speak to you again before your holiday, so best of luck!

have a lovely holiday banana thank you for all your help and advice its really appreciated. I know I@m trying not to say anything to mum about the tests or what i think really, which I think is best, like you say its impossible for me to make a diagnosis even if I was his personal nurse, never mind a student who is a family member.

Yes mckenzie I hate flying, I have some rescue rememdy which I shall be downing at the airport on monday, its just a stress I could do without really, plus trying to write 2000 words of my assignment, I'm not concentrating well. Plus I have taken back to the fags after not smoking for 4 months but in the circumstances I just wanted it

I'm not a great flyer either mosschops. I've found that Kalms + rescue remedy help me.
Hope it's not too bad and you get some good news about your dad when you get home.