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Original poster

So do you have to be a same-sex couple to have a civil partnership?

22 replies

saintmaybe · 23/05/2007 20:24

Because dp (male) and I do mean to get married, but we'd quite like to save up, organise a party etc when we do. In the meantime, for all the legal/ financial reasons, can we have a civil parnership, or is it purely a marriage for same-sex couples?

Am I being a bit dim? I can't find any mention on gov websites, and friends who've had a cp don't know either.

OP posts:

Original poster

saintmaybe · 23/05/2007 20:25

Might not get back on-line tonight, apologies, will look in the morning though.

OP posts:

FioFio · 23/05/2007 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tommy · 23/05/2007 20:26

just marriage!
Doesn't have to be expensive - you could have a party later

ArtichokeTagine · 23/05/2007 20:27

They are just for same sex couples.

ICanKeepASecret · 23/05/2007 20:28

I think a heterosexual 'civil partenership' is actuallyu a civil wedding, usually a registry office wedding.

I know of asian couples that have a quiet civil wedding (so they are legally wed) followed by a tradtional Hindu (?) wedding ceromony a few weeks later. They have to have the civil wedding as I don't think the Hindu ceromony is legal in this country IYSWIM.

You could do ssmilar - have a private reg office wedding followed by a blessing/party at a later date.

Dottydot · 23/05/2007 20:29

My hazy understanding is that the nearest thing is to the same sex civil partnership ceremony is getting married in a register office, which I think is pretty much identical to a same sex couples' civil partnership ceremony - i.e. no mention of God. Probably says you're married at the end though, instead of saying you've made your civil partnership.

this is a registrar wedding description

this tells you about civil ceremonies

Original poster

saintmaybe · 23/05/2007 20:34

Yeah, will be cheap anyway, but have a money reason for wanting to do it straight away, and we're moving house and just don't have time to organise anything. And I know we could do the wedding and then have a party later, but I'd really like to do it at the same time..

Just wondered if it would be a way to tie up legal stuff without my mum and dad feeling p'd off at us being so slack about organising a 'do', 'cos we could just do it without telling anyone and then do a wedding later.

Wondering now if it's a bit cheeky, cp's having been hard-fought-for and all

OP posts:

Judy1234 · 23/05/2007 20:38

No. YOu have to be the same sex and you can't be a relative - so two 80 year old sisters living together can't avoid inheritance tax and can be made homeless when the first one dies to pay the tax but if they were 80 year old unrelated friends or even 80 year old lesbian lovers they could.

Ladymuck · 23/05/2007 20:39

You can have a lowkey registry office do - we did, and we asked 2 people on their lunchbreak to be our witnesses.

We then had a church wedding later, and I'm pretty sure that no-one would have noticed that it wasn't the real thing - they would have to have been looking very closely at the point whee we signed the register to realise that in fact we didn't, we just posed for photos.

Ladymuck · 23/05/2007 20:40

The only bugger is that you do have to remember the relevant dates. We count our church do as our "anniversary", but have to put the legal date on official docs such as the dcs birth certificates etc. Friends of ours did the same, but they had their registry office wedding exactly one year before their church wedding.

stargate · 23/05/2007 20:41

does the reason affect anybody else? if not, two witnesses and ceremony. and keep quiet.

later on, when in position for party etc. have blessing and party and the wedding trimmings your parents will expect.

Original poster

saintmaybe · 23/05/2007 20:51

I think I remember now reading something about the example you gave, Xenia. That's harsh, isn't it?

Prob do what you did, Ladymuck, thanks everyone!

OP posts:

exbatt · 23/05/2007 21:06

Ladymuck, I don't understand how no-one would have noticed. Certainly in our church, if a legal ceremony had already taken place, the church service wouldn't have been a 'wedding' but would have been a service of blessing or similar, and the wording would thus have been slightly different to the marriage service. So I think people would have realised.

Good idea otherwise though!

Judy1234 · 23/05/2007 21:30

Remember you can have a church wedding for nothing. It's just paying for the add ons which costs money. Religiously you can marry in church without any of that. Just hire a dress for the day and even that you don't have to do to get married in church.

Ladymuck · 23/05/2007 21:38

The only bits of the service that we changed were that we didn't have the phrase "If anyone knows just cause or impediment...." and we added bits to the vows to personalise them. And we didn't actually sign the register.

We were still pronounced man and wife etc.

Judy1234 · 23/05/2007 22:00

..which I suppose is technically accurate in the eyes of God. A lot of religions don't count civil unions anyway so you're living in sin until you get married in church and having immoral sex etc Interesting ones include Jerry Hall who thought she'd married but he'd by accident or design conned her into a so called wedding on a Balinese island or something. When they came to divorce they discovered they weren't married at all which had legal implications.

Ladymuck · 23/05/2007 22:10

I suppose on further musing there probably should be some sort of issue with us effectively faking a wedding service. I never really thought about it given that we were already legally married.

Judy1234 · 24/05/2007 07:36

I don't suppose most guests would mind. One thing I am often interested in is that, however. I was looking at the Liz Hurley wedding to find out what they were having. Presumably the C of E one was a blessing as her husband just got divorced. Then the Hindu one is presumably not recognised under English law so they must first have had a register office one.

LoveAngel · 24/05/2007 08:16

Me & DH got married in a registry office with 2 witnesses.

Get hitched and save the party for when you've got the money and can be arsed to organise it.

Ladymuck · 24/05/2007 09:15

The CofE requirements are a bit odd though. As I understand it you have to have a licensed person in a licensed place. CofE vicars are licensed for their own parishes, but need special licenses for other parishes. And any other denomination of vicar need Archbishop approval or something. I think if we had had a CofE vicar then we would have had to have a service of blessing or whatever. But we hired the CofE church for the day and got "married" by a Methodist minister, who definitely wasn't licensed, and presumably didn't have to worry about what the legalities were since as far as he was concerned this was a religious ceremony and not a legal one.

Judy1234 · 24/05/2007 14:49

It's an interesting area. I tihnk the C of E as the state religion has special rules. Cathoclis like I am their priest in church has to get a licence I believe but C of E would normally just on a few sundays before read out the Banns to give people a chance to object but if they don't do the banns (and I think you're supposed to live in the parish by the way not just say - that buildings real cute so let's choose that) the the C of E get a licence.

Funniest thing was when Prince Charles got it wrong - either Windsore Castle was licensed for any tom Dick or Harry for the future and C&C could marry there or else not - they settled for not and used the local town hall.

Judy1234 · 24/05/2007 14:50

Mind you that also depends on the vicar, doesn' t it? There used to be complete ban on remarriage in the C of E if you were divorced. Now depends on the vicar and depends on the divorce - so if you want to marry your lover who you committed adultery with and left your spouse for they are unlikely to let you marry in church. If your wife ran off with another man 10 years ago and at last you've found new love some C of E vicars will marry you.

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