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Original poster

I'm being either brave or foolish here, children and weddings again!

18 replies

lilibet · 11/08/2004 23:17

But this time the wedding is mine and as I have children, I can't not invite them! But I do need your honest (gulp!) opinions as to whether I am going to upset people by what I am going to do!

Dp and I are going to get married late, probably around 4pm, we then plan to go off to a nice little hotel that we haven't found yet, and have a lovely, long, (6 courses! Mine will be the first ever wedding dress with an elasticated waist!) very relaxed meal, which we hope will just carry on till the early hours with people who we like sat around drinking, chatting and having a good time. So no disco or party! We have two families with children coming, one has children of 3 and 7, the others children are 6, 3 and 1 and they will have to travel around 100 miles to get to us.

I am inviting the parents and children but did think of talking to the mums before hand and explaining the sort of day that we are going to have, neither dp nor I have any problems with the children coming but just think that perhaps the parents should be forewarned that there won't be a party after for the children to run around and let off steam after having to sit still thru a ceremony and a meal.

What do you think, if I phone will they think that I am trying to put them off bringing the children or will they be glad that they know exactly what they are coming to?

OP posts:
MummyToSteven · 11/08/2004 23:25

Nope - I think you are being very considerate. Then its up to the parents to decide if they just want to shoot off after the meal, or try and keep the kids happy at the hotel!

sobernow · 11/08/2004 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JanH · 11/08/2004 23:27

Will they be staying at the place where the meal will be? Would they be able to put kids to bed and then relax and enjoy themselves or would more travelling be involved?

Original poster
lilibet · 12/08/2004 08:06

I think they would be staying over Janh, they are in Coventry. Just didn't wnat anyone to think that I was pushing their children out!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 12/08/2004 08:10

I think it sounds lovely too Lilibet and I wouldn't be offended were I a guest. Can you find out if the hotel has games/dvds/baby listening? Then you can tell them this when you explain the day.

Fio2 · 12/08/2004 08:12

I think you are being very sweet too. Only word of caution make sure they know that you are making sure it is OK for them without making them feel like you would rather they not go iykwim My cousin booked a room for us at his wedding and said its got listening service so you can put the kids out the way later, which to my husband said' they dont want them running around' which was totally not true, but thats my dh for you!

Twiglett · 12/08/2004 08:31

message withdrawn

Ghosty · 12/08/2004 08:32

Lilibet ... I think it sounds like a lovely idea. I don't think that people should 'expect' you to cater for their children and I think they will be pleased that they can bring them but also pleased that they know what the day will be like ...
PS ... can I come?????????

Angeliz · 12/08/2004 08:34

lilibet, i think that you should DEFINATELY let them know.
It sounds like a FANTASTIC day, just what i'd want
I think if they have warning then they also won't be telling kids about disco ect as it would be awful if kids were whinging all night "when's the party???"

Have fun+

motherinferior · 12/08/2004 08:52

It sounds lovely, Lillibet. We went a long way to a wedding recently which also kicked off at 4pm, and then we all went off and had a big meal - there was, as it happened, a children's entertainer but actually there was a lovely laid-back atmostphere, and lots of other parents had sorted out things like high chairs etc. People arranged their own sloping off as and when they felt like it.

Ghosty, shall we crash it?

gscrym · 12/08/2004 09:16

I think that's so considerate. Your guests will think the same. I hope you have a lovely day and if the dress don't stretch enough, wear pyjamas .

Tinker · 12/08/2004 09:25

I think its sounds fab as well lilibet - just being thoughtful. Need to contact you about hotel in Buxton if you're still interested

gothicmama · 12/08/2004 09:27

You could always ask them to bring small toys/ drawing paper etc th help occupy the children forewarned is forearmed as they say - When you speak to them make sure you don't sound like it is a problem .

enid · 12/08/2004 09:36

It sounds lovely. Could you have a children's table at the venue with colouring books/balloons etc. Thats what we did at our wedding last year.

Azure · 12/08/2004 09:58

Sounds great Lilibet. I agree that it's best to let the parents know what the event will be like. At my wedding, which was very similar to how you are planning yours, we had a separate room next to the dining room, with a tv and video, and the children amused themselves there. The parents did leave earlier than people without children there, but they weren't staying in the hotel. A wedding I went to last month had a separate place (well, separate marquee) for the kids, with creche staff, paper and paints, etc, and special themed meal boxes, which could be eaten at the tables with the adults (they all had places) or in the separate play area.

Blu · 12/08/2004 10:05

Lillibet, it sounds a lovely wedding. I think if you can find a hotel that will be able to provide a 'kids lounge' as Azure describes, and maybe a listening service in the rooms, that will be absolutely perfect.

motherinferior · 12/08/2004 10:22

Yes, I went to a lovely wedding last Christmas which just had a children's area.

Personally I'd slope off, put the kids to bed, leave them with a listening service/their father, and come back and party!

Original poster
lilibet · 12/08/2004 12:04

THe Hotel that we have as top of our shortlist has a lounge off, I think its for a bit of quiet for when you are having a 'do', I may ask them about setting up a video in there. I was planning to do goody bags for the children at the table.

Glad you all think I wouldn't be treading on toes.

Pleeeease gatecrash - dp has tons more relations than me - you could all be honorary sisters/ cousind

Tinker - we decied against Buxton as with it being February we thought that we may not be able to get there if the weather was horrid. but thanks for remembering

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