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Original poster

Is it normal for people to do drugs these days?

29 replies

confusedyoungthing · 03/06/2018 18:03

A new friend of mine invited me to hers for a games night with a couple of others and I was absolutely thrilled to be invited as I don't really have many friends and don't go out much. She and her boyfriend are a lovely couple and I really enjoy spending time with them.
I had a nice night, I went to bed about 1:30am and they stayed up longer and drank much more (they are much more into things like this than me!)
When I got up the next morning my friend revealed they hadn't slept all night because they'd been doing coke.
I was absolutely shocked and even went into the other room and cried to myself. I feel like such a baby and such a loser but drugs are a massive NO to me.
I know I've been incredibly naive in assuming that I'd never meet people who drugs, but this has really got to me and I'm looking around at people I know and thinking, are they all doing it? Is this just something that everyone does now?
I'm was really pleased with myself for meeting new people and making new friends and now I'm kind of afraid that I'll never meet other people who are like me and don't like this stuff. I'm worried that I'll forever be considered a loser because of it.

OP posts:
ScattyCharly · 03/06/2018 18:10

You will meet people like you. It will just take more time. The only baby and loser in this situation are those taking drugs.

Anyone who considers you a loser isn’t worth your time anyway. You don’t need a lot of friends. Quality over quantity. And waiting for nice friends is ok.

gamerwidow · 03/06/2018 18:21

It’s more common than it used to be but it’s not everyone. They must have been fairly discrete about it if you didn’t know until your friend told you. It doesn’t sound like they expected you to join in or felt any differently or less of you for not wanting to take drugs. They’re not automatically terrible people just because they did drugs and if you liked them otherwise I’m not sure what the problem is?
Having said that there are all sorts of people out there so if this is a deal breaker (which is ok too) you will find other friends who you have more in common with.

gamerchick · 03/06/2018 18:24

Well they waited until you went to bed and didn't offer you any. Seems like you have a choice to make about your friendship.

Wolfiefan · 03/06/2018 18:24

I'm not sure why you cried.
I don't do drugs. Some people do.

specialsubject · 03/06/2018 19:31

no life saddos. and crime suporters as well as criminals.

plenty of non saddos around. Leave them to their junkie filth. Losers.

ScreamingValenta · 03/06/2018 19:33

It happens, but I wouldn't describe it as normal. I think you've been unlucky.

Sevendown · 03/06/2018 19:35

They are idiots.

FlixFlax · 03/06/2018 19:37

Why did you cry? I can see why you were shocked but not why you'd cry.

immortalmarble · 03/06/2018 19:38

Said kindly, I think your reaction was a bit silly.

They did it, people are different, people will do things you wouldn’t do, it isn’t important. What matters is whether you enjoy their company or not.

GinUnicorn · 03/06/2018 19:40

Honestly I think unless you felt pressured to join in why not love and let live.

They do drugs - doesn't make them horrible people and you can still have a friendship. You just mention you prefer evenings where it is booze only - no drama.

Morgan12 · 03/06/2018 19:46

Yes it's quite common. They are not junkie filth as PP said. They are normal people who do cocaine. Your reaction was a little OTT. They didn't even attempt to ask if you wanted to be involved and were discreet.

MuddyForestWalks · 03/06/2018 19:48

People have always done drugs since the dawn of time. Personally I don't think it's loser-ish to not want to snort something that has been shat out of the arsehole of some poor mule who has risked death or a long stint in jail to smuggle it into the country so that a shitty cartel can profit.

moofeatures · 03/06/2018 19:56

Not doing drugs doesn't make you a baby. Crying about other people doing drugs does.

RLOU88 · 03/06/2018 20:08

Why would you cry ? I think that’s an incredibly daft reaction. They didn’t do it in front of you or offer you any.

Not all people who use drugs are junkies as PP has said, else no doubt you would have been aware before hand but it’s okay that you strongly dislike them (obviously).
I hope you find some new friends soon.

LM1970 · 03/06/2018 20:08

I wouldn’t worry about it tbh OP. I doubt they will invite you back.

letsgomaths · 03/06/2018 20:16

Having had it drummed into me by parents and teachers that "drugs are bad," I understood this to mean "and so are the people who take them". I remember being quite genuinely shocked in my twenties when I found out that "nice" people I was friends with took drugs regularly. After that I didn't think that all drug-takers were bad people, but I took care not to get involved.

isitfridayyet1 · 03/06/2018 20:21

I don't think your reaction was ott OP everyone reacts to things differently and I'm very anti drugs sound probably have felt the same way too. Anyone who just thinks live and let live and coke isn't a problem, needs to take a look at the knock on effects the drug industry has in prisons and in communities where the dealers either live or have done time in!

isitfridayyet1 · 03/06/2018 20:22

That being said you need to decide if this is a deal breaker for your friendship. It would definitely be for me.

LM1970 · 03/06/2018 20:24

While I agree with you isitfriday in a way I do have that attitude. If people want to do it- I would hope they weren’t enough of a sap to let me tell them what to do with their bodies.

samanthasung · 03/06/2018 20:26

Very common in your teenagers and early twenties, yes.

youokayhun · 03/06/2018 20:26

Majority of people I know do drugs, majority of them are nice normal people and you'd never know on a day to day basis - it's extremely common where I'm from I'd say. I don't do them, I've got no problem with people if they do. We can all go on nights out and some do and some don't and nobody else cares what the other is doing - live and let live unless it's directly effecting you in any way I would say.

SardineReturns · 03/06/2018 20:29

Well no not everybody does drugs.

But plenty of people do.

People tend to make friends with people "like them" - maybe it's not a good fit?

I don't know why you're so upset though, have you not come across much casual drug use when you were young etc? I think that some people are very exposed to it and some it seems miles away - depending on stuff like where you live, when you grew up, what sort of music you were into etc.

I grew up in London in the 80s / 90s and drugs were normal, for a lot of teens, I would say. Not cocaine as too expenisve! Other things though. But I have friends at work who have somehow never come across it, and find the whole thing very horrifying.

Racecardriver · 03/06/2018 20:33

Coke is a bit different to something like lsd for example. A lot of people do coke over lunch just to keep them going (not surprising if you are working 14 hours days in a magic circle firm really). Barring an indication of intellect/ability to manage stress it dishy really mean anything. I woundnt read into it too much.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/06/2018 20:43

Some people do it, some don't. I'd say less than half of people take drugs, though those people themselves might think it's 'everybody' because that's what their social circle is like.
Whenever someone has mentioned drugs in most of my social circles (working on a boat was a big exception) it's been made clear to them that 'we don't do that' so I think people tend to gravitate to their own kind if you see what I mean.
I also think I'd be shocked, but not crying. Is there something in your history about that? Also, why think of yourself as a baby or a loser; it smacks (no pun intended) of very low self-esteem.

Original poster
confusedyoungthing · 03/06/2018 20:48

@gwenhwyfar I have extremely low self esteem, my mental health isn't great at the moment (I'm seeing someone about it though.) I understand my reaction was ridiculous and that makes me hate myself even more haha!
I am definitely still friends with them, and they don't mind that I'm not into it. If anything it was the other friend they invited who wanted and they just kind of tagged along.
I had long gone to sleep when this happened, no idea what would've happened if I'd been awake whilst they were doing it haha. I've never been exposed to things like this before but I am very young and I am very naive. Thanks for your replies guys!

OP posts: