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Original poster

Look, I know this isn't logical, but I'm getting myself in a state...

23 replies

illogical · 11/08/2004 11:26

Have changed my name for this as I feel like a hysterical idiot.

Yesterday, just before bedtime, I took ds1 to the loo before putting pyjamas on etc. I put the safety gate across so ds2 couldn't come in to the loo as he's started sticking his hands in the loo etc while ds1 is weeing etc.

Ds2 obviously didn't like being excluded from the event and as usual stood at the safety gate screaming his head off, but I'd rather he did this for a few minutes rather than get his hands covered in "you know what", whilst I'm trying to sort out ds1 for bedtime.

Through the din, I heard the front door bell go, but ds1 was mid poo so I couldn't answer it. Just as we were finishing and I was able to give ds2 some attention, the doorbell went again.

My dh (who had been upstairs doing a bit of DIY) came down and answered the front door. It was a man who said "I can hear some terrible screaming".

To which my dh replied, "yeah we've got two small children", then slammed the door.

Now I'm thinking OMG, dh shouldn't have been so rude to him, as he might be one of these people who rings social services and tells them people are being cruel to their children. Then said social services turn up and take your children away from you.

Honestly, I know it sounds crazy, but I'm in a state about it. Please calm me down someone.

OP posts:

Tinker · 11/08/2004 11:31

Do you know the man? Could you maybe go and have a chat to him? With no other "evidence" than one man hearing some young children making a noise that young children make, SS are NOT going to take your children away.

I suppose at least he had the decency to knock and try to have a word. You'll be fine.

glitterfairy · 11/08/2004 11:39

Cant say that I have ever heard of SS taking kids away on a whim. They would need more evidence than the complaint of one man.

Had to laugh at your DH though! Brilliant response.

windypops · 11/08/2004 11:42

Kids cry/scream thats just what they do at times.

Wouldn't worry too much about it, he might have been checking parents home etc etc, think I might have re-acted in the same way as your DH, although I think my DH would have been worse.

But if you do know the man, perhaps a quite chat might put your mind at rest.

windypops · 11/08/2004 11:44

and from Someone who had SS round recently (long pre-school story) they do not take kids away at a whim, at very worst they would come round for a chat or telephone, but they are unlikely to responde to a call telling them a child was screaming, well if they did I am sure all parents would have SS called at least 50 times a month.

Easy · 11/08/2004 11:45

I would guess that the bloke doesn't have children of his own

I wouldn't worry, I don't think SS would get involved on one comment, and they certainly won't just appear and remove them, so don't get yourself upset.

My ds (nearly 5) went upstairs to get dressed this morning, letting out blood-curdling screams as he walked upstairs. The landing window was open ! I think our neighbours are used to it now tho'

mothernature · 11/08/2004 11:49

On the flip side, its good to hear someone actually cares when they hear some child screaming, even if it is 'innocent'. illogical I hope you don't think, I think he was right, its just I'm glad someone was bothered by it...if you know what I mean..

marialuisa · 11/08/2004 11:54

Calm down, he won't call SS and they wouldn't come out because of some screaming. Have to say i agree with MotherNature that it's nice that someone does care enough (and is brave enough0 to ask. But then I'm weird as I would have no problem with someone knocking on my door/passing comment on noise. Realise I'm in a minority of 1 on this, if the general tone of mumsnet is any sort of barometer.

Original poster

illogical · 11/08/2004 11:54

Thanks folks .

We don't know the man, not seen him in the neighbourhood before.

I'll calm down now and stop overreacting.

OP posts:

myermay · 11/08/2004 11:57

Message withdrawn

Kayleigh · 11/08/2004 12:02

Something similar happened to me not long ago - my ds2, age 2 at the time, had just fallen asleep in the car. I parked my car on our drive right by the front door and sat myself in my lounge with the newspaper where I had an excellant view of ds2 from the window - just as I had done a million times before with both ds1 and ds2. A while later the door rang and a man who was putting pizza delivery leaflets through doors said to me "do you know there is a baby in your car". Doh ! I said "Yes Thank you" very abruptly and shut the door. 10 minutes later 3 (yes THREE) police cars and a police van screech to halt outside my house and 3 (yes THREE) policeman come to my door. Obviously I opened the door before they rung the bell so they could see I was able to see what was going on and they explained they had had a call about a small child being left alone in the street so had to check it out. They were satisfied that ds2 was safe and happy and that I was looking after him and they left. They went and chatted to a lady policeman who had stayed in one of the cars - obviously she was there to cart me away - and then they all left. I think I shook for about two hours afterwards.

So please don't panic. If (and that's a big IF) they do phone or turn up, once you have explained what the situation is, I am sure they will go away and that will be the end of the story.

vict17 · 11/08/2004 12:03

I agree with mothernature and marialusia. A bit of an extreme scenario here but what if you had fallen down the stairs and unable to move, your kids were screaming and no one came round? TBH I think your dh was a bit rude - sorry (quickly runs and hides for cover!)

Easy · 11/08/2004 12:07

Blimey, Kayleigh I used to do this too when ds was tiny. I did once just recline my seat and doze off in the car with him, and our next-door neighbour came and knocked on the car window to ask if everything was alright. Woke both of us up !!

I don't know if she thought I was doing us in. I'd have chosen somewhere much more private than a driveway on a housing estate I think !

coppertop · 11/08/2004 12:28

It's reassuring to know that some people care enough about a child's welfare to actually knock on a stranger's door to ask if everything is okay. How many times do we read in the papers about how a child has been physically abused (not suggesting for a single second that yo abuse your children, Illogical) and we think to ourselves "Surely the neighbours must have heard something! Why didn't anyone stop it?"

iota · 11/08/2004 12:34

Just wondering illogical, if the DIY your husband was doing was making a loud noise such as banging as well? -
Screaming and banging might have sounded as if something terrible was going on?

There's some horrible screaming at times in this house (me included), but our neighbours don't seem to notice/care

Original poster

illogical · 11/08/2004 12:35

vict17 - I thought my dh was rude too! If I had got to the door, I'd have just explained the screaming and said "thanks for your concern, everything's fine.

I think it's dh's handling of it that got me in a state about it.

OP posts:

Easy · 11/08/2004 12:38

I know what you mean about your dh, but if I'm disturbed in the middle of doing something important or complicated I can be abrupt too. Sometimes I later think "I wish I could apologise"

vict17 · 11/08/2004 12:38

Illogical - I know what you mean, some of the things that come out of my dh's mouth leave me cringing with embarassment!! I hate all kinds of confrontation so I'm probably too polite

vict17 · 11/08/2004 12:40

Perhaps the heat was getting to everyone last night too. Me and dh had a humdigger of a row yesterday and i'm sure it was just cos we were hot and bothered. DIY can make you very hot I hear

Tessiebear · 11/08/2004 12:43

Isnt it sad that we have to worry so much about what people think of our actions in this day and age! Even when we know we are being good parents we have to worry how our parenting skills are coming across to others!

Demented · 11/08/2004 19:28

Can I confess that pre-children I phoned the Police when I heard terrible screaming coming from a flat in town (it did sound like young children), in my defence it came from flats where there had been a fire and I thought the whole place was empty but it turns out that one flat was still occupied. We heard back that there was a family living there and basically not to worry (possibly informed of this because we lived nearby).

We had the Police at our house the other evening (reporting an incident regarding a difficult neighbour, she's a whole other thread ) and my DS2 was screaming his head off as I was trying to wash his hair, the Police didn't blink, they just laughed.

Piffleoffagus · 11/08/2004 19:38

hmmmm if the ss came round to investigate screaming, they would need a MIGHTY large staff number methinks....

hercules · 11/08/2004 19:40

They'd have to check their own families too!

Twiglett · 11/08/2004 20:34

message withdrawn

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