Settling in one place vs moving - effect on kids?

[TheBlonde]

We are likely to move abroad at some point in the future. Both DH & I moved a lot as a child and didn't like moving.

So the dilemma is do we try to make any moves while the children are young?
Try to settle somewhere but when?
By the time the eldest is 7? 11?

Sorry this is something of a ramble but just wondering what other people's views are on moving vs settling in one place

I would advise being settled by secodnary age. I think continuity becomes more important both socially and educationally as they get older, under 10 's are more flexible.

I moved all over the place. It was fine.

I think there's too much emphasis placed on 'settling' in one place in British culture, tbh.

Yes, this is just my opinion.

But because of my experiences moving around, I feel my life has been enriched and I'm open to new experiences.

I've now been an expat to the UK for 5 years, and we're thinking of moving again in a couple of years.

IMO there are definitely pros and cons to both.

Moving about can make you more open minded and give greater life experience - but staying on one place gives you roots and better quality long term friendships.

For children I'd say it depends how confident they are - how easily they adjust to new schools and making new friends etc....

I don't think it matters that much as long as they have all the love and support at home that they need.

We have moved twice now already, and our children barely noticed, but again they were only 2 + newborn and then 4 + 2 1/2.

We are still considering moving again when they are older, and I think that as long as you put them first all the way, talk to them and listen to them, then they'll be okay.

i agree with lizs, dh was moved when he was 14 and he hated it and did poorly because of it first time round with a-levels, put into wrong sets and having to get reestablished in a social group etc.

We moved last year, dd's then 4 & 2 and it's about support, the family is where 'home' is and if there is the supportive and loving envirnment thath they are used to, they should settle more quickly.

Leaving the extended family has been a bit of a wrench, i'd underestimated that but if you all try to work at staying in touch and visiting, it can be overcome - it is an increasingly small world we love in after all
We will go again for dh's job but not once secondary school has started.

Sooner rather than later.

We moved loads while I was a child and I absolutely hated it. Particularly all the new schools.

I moved around alot as a child - both within the UK and abroad(went to 10 different schools). I think it does make a huge difference, especially moving between different countries. Yes children can be flexible if they have to be, but they also want to have a sense of belonging and not being different. While I have learned many positive things from my various moves, personally I would like my children to have the stability of staying in one place if possible. I think the younger the children are when you move the better and definately before secondary school age.

We will also have this dilema at some point in the next few years (DH job). I have moved around a lot and at the moment love the idea of staying here (where we've been for the last 4 years). I have made some fantastic friends and my LO have friends they've known since birth.
Sometimes people take for granted good friendships - I think they can really add to happiness! Takes a while to settle into a new place and at the moment I don't relish the idea of being a 'newbie' again!

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