is there anythign you can do about someone with an eating disorder?

[Mud]

my sister has wht can only be described as an eating disorder. she's thin and looks a bit scrawny certainly much older than her age, she has in the last year decided to be vegetatrian. she does not eat in front of other people, makes evey effort to not be put in that position, makes herself a boilde egg and small spoon of baked beans when theres a full lunch provided - make s a pointof eating chocolate mousse pots in front of people to make out she doesn't have a problem. she did ahve an acid reflux problem 8 years ago that forced her on to bland foods then a problem in her throat that needed an operation so had difficulty swallowing for a while. but it seems to have knocked her to the point where she just wont accept theirs a problem and its been 8 years.

have asked her outright she densie it, have spoken to her husband and he says she's fine - her teenagers think she has a problem though as do my mother and other siblings

is there really nothing we can do about it?

I would suggest looking at the website of the eaitng disorder association (will find ina sec for you)

here

its all very well adopting a funky new name but it doesn't help with findngb it does it?

Anyway they're pretty good and I wish your sister luck. I amanged to beat a longstanding eating disorder, but my friend is very ill after 18 years so I know how worried you are

XX

thnaks - i don't think she has traditional eating problems - she certianly doesn't bang on about needing to be thin - and when you confront her she is very scathing abot anyone thinking she has a problem. am i right in thinking that if anythign is to change it will have to come from her? its just her behaviour around food is just so strange - she actually growled at my husband who was sitting with the kids to come back to the grown -up table at a wedding so that she could sit with MY kids and avoid the fact that there was food at her table - its just so worrying but how do you approach it - we don't even live that close to her

people with ED's don't bang on about needing to be thin, and most completely are unaware there's an issue. Asking soeone if they ahve an ED is a bit pointless tbh

No - if you think she's getting critically thin or has other physical symptoms that suggest she's in imminent danger of collapse then of course you need to act - but generally people need to get to a point where they do find it a problem themselves (often because its affecting their relationships or work, say). A GP can usually refer for an assessment of the problem if an individual goes to them, but services are unfortunately really variable around the country. On another point, i don't want to worry you, but children of sufferers are quite vulnerable to developing eating disorders themselves (not necessarily the same disorder as the mother, but restrictive eating/binge eating, over-eating or bulimia) so its really important that they get chances to express their feelings about stuff that goes on in their life with supportive adults and develop a strong sense of self esteem so that they don't need an eating disorder as a coping mechanism.

Something that applies to my mate (may or not apply here) is that we have realised that when we ask about her eating, or comment on her weight (5 foot 8 and 5 stone at present) she gets an actual kick out of it! She thinks its funny, and enjoys the attention

If she does have an issue then her dh is being pretty unsupportive, that may indicate she's healthy or something else- sometimes these things are related to control issues in the family. It might help to try and identify whether you think he feels she is genuinely OK (in which case your actions are limites really to a careful watch) or if there's some deeper issue going on.

If you feel its the latter, leaving some leaflets and maybe a helpline phone number and not mentioning it might be a good starter