Need advice on moving in with partner

[Jenjen41]

Hello I've been with my partner 2 & half years hes just asked me to move in with him as we live 37 miles apart I have 3 kids ones nearly 19 & in the army my other 2 are 12 and 9 my 12year old doesn't want to move my eldest said I should do what's right for me my 12 year old said if I move she will go live with her dad who she doesn't see very often i want to be a family and not a single mum but i dont want my kids split up I don't know what to do. Do me and my partner carry on as we are or do i tell my 12 year old she has to move with me and hope she will eventually realise it was the right thing to do my daughter isn't overly close to her dad she only wants to stay were we live because of her freinds I've tried to explain she can stay in touch with her freinds if we move but she said she wouldn't speak to me if I move it's so difficult any advice **

Why can't he move to you? If space is a problem maybe you can move to a bigger place in the same area you're currently living in?

You're changing lives for 3 people for the sake of one person.

He also has kids and he's just become a grandad and we have the baby when we can it's realy difficult

Will your kids have to change school?

She's 12. She will get over it. Sometimes as a mum you have to make hard choices. Is he a good, kind balanced guy. Does she like him ? If it's SOLELY about friends and not worries about living with your new partner then push ahead. She is 12 and needs to do as she's told. You are entitled to a life as well.

12 yr olds are ridiculously dramatic. She will wail and scream and say she will never see her friends again, but can face time them everyday and in a year or so can get on a train and go visit independently.

Yes they would my nine year old is happy about moving just the 12 year old and it's purely because of her freinds

Yes is purely because of freinds she loves my partner he's great with the girls hes done a lot for them there dad has never took any time off work to associate with them only a weekend if it suits him my partner and I have took them on holidays and always buying them stuff I have said to my 12 year old that I want to be a family but all she thinks about is her freinds I've even told her I'd bring her back to visit freinds

I wouldn’t move. Why can’t you continue the set up you have now? You don’t have to live together to have a relationship with someone.