Problem child at pre-school - to model child at school, can it happen?

[windypops]

Basically I have started a few threads about my DS's problems at pre-school, in a nutshell, his behaviour was very good everywhere else, except he turned when he went to school, they had concerns and asked for 3 different assessments, all back ok, there concerns was that he likes one-on-one attention and if he couldn't have it, he started being naughty, he would ridget and get bored and naughty at pre-school, all along we have thought it was because DS liked and needed a firm hand and having 6 adults there in one go he got different commands and different levels of commands (a few of them were right wet lettuces) we had issued with them again the day we left school and her passing comments was I really hope that he settles in school (she said it in such a way it was like ha but I dont think he will iyswim).

I just wondered if anyone out there had a problem child at nursery/pre-school, but settled on fine. I mean he is a bright boy and we think he needs to be stimulated more.

thanks in Advance

It can happen, babe. I work with lots of kids with special needs- including many with behaviour problems linked to various conditions or none- and transition to primary is one of the times that parents often really dread, either because pre-school has been fantastic and they don't believe school can measure up or, like you, because there have been problems at nursery level which they are worried are a sign of things to come at school. A good few are pleasantly surprised though. Some children with challenging behaviour- whether intermittent or extreme- really thrive in the more structured, rule-based atmosphere that many schools offer, IME. A hippy trippy "Go and choose what you want to do and play freely and creatively" isn't the approach of choice for all kids, though it's pretty much the norm at nursery level, and some children feel much safer and find it easier to behave when the boundaries are very clear, I think. There are no guarantees of course, but I would try and approach school confidently, expecting the very best of your ds and the staff there.

sorry, don?t have any personal experience as a parent but do from the other end as a teacher. I would get children with immaculate previous records and nothing but praise for behaviour and work and they turn out to be little monsters, equally those who have been unoffically "flagged" as potentially hard work and needing special attention can turn into model pupils. I would wait and see. A lot has to do with his relationship with his new teacher, where he sits in the class and which other pupils he becomes friends with.
If these assessments have been done, presumably the school will be aware that he might find settling in difficult and so should monitor it closely - make sure he sits fairly near the front and with "appropriate children". In your shoes, I would give it a couple of weeks as long as you have not heard of any problems during this time and then maybe ask to have a quiet word with his class teacher outlining your concerns and asking for a casual "settling in" report. Teachers like to know parents are concerned and keen to support them and will help to kick things off to a good start. About the only other thing you personally can do is to help support his more favourable friendships (IYKWIM) by asking them over to play and getting to know parents. As you will know already, children do copy other children and they can have a surprisingly good influence of each other through friendship and play.

If concentration and boredom is an issue, have you looked at diet to see if there is any possible links there? for example, do they give them a morning drink of squash full of additives? even "healthy" foods can make many children hyperactive and needing more attention - eg. marmite toast and a bowl of cheerios - white bread is often loaded with preservatives that are known to aggravate behavioural problems and even supposedly healthy breakfast cereals can be full of artifical sweeteners or, in the case of cheerios, dodgy food colourings like annatto - banned in some countries for it?s potential effect on childrens behaviour.

DS1 had big problems in his nursery year - as scummymummy describes he really couldn't cope with the 'free play' idea at that age.

He is still (just 7) not without difficulties, and we are actually waiting to see an ed psych as he still isn't great socially - particularly in unstructured environments ...

BUT - and this is the bit to encourage you - he is apparently pretty much a model child in the classroom. His school is fairly formal and strict, he knows what the rules are and how he is expected to behave, and he is quite happy to conform. He is doing extremely well academically, and his teachers are superb in ensuring he is always challenged and stimulated.

BTW his nursery teacher's parting comments to me were similar to the ones you received. Sometimes (in more childish moments) I want to send her a copy of his recent (glowing) school report and say "ner ner ner ner ner!"

Hope that cheers you up, and good luck in September!

Roisin