Need advice/opinions on noise complaints from neighbour.

[MrsSynysterGates]

Ok I'll try and keep it brief.
I got moved to a house last October as ds is Autistic and an escape artist. He'd open locked windows and try to climb out...of a first floor flat!
Ds is very heavy footed and possibly ADHD (waiting for assessment) so makes quite a bit of noise when playing/excitable etc. I do try to stop him but there is only so many times I can can say stop, no banging etc.
He has a very short attention span and can't sit still for longer than 5 minutes so nice, calm, productive play is out of the question.
My neighbour has complained about him quite a few times, saying his noise echoes through her house. It's making me quite ill trying to keep him calm, occupied etc so he doesn't disturb her. I also feel that it's having an adverse effect on his behaviour being told, stop and no all the time.
I'm applying to be put on the housing list again, the Mutual exchange and the housing association's own transfer list so I've done all I can that way.
My Housing Officer has mentioned soundproofing by way of extra thick carpets/underlay but I cannot afford it. I still have £4000 of debts to pay off.
I need some help before I go mad.
Oh and the HA have also threatened court action and/or ASBO's on him if I can't control the noise.

H Mrssynestergates, that's awful

I'm sorry, I don't know what else to suggest, do hope someone who knows more comes along.

Does your neighbour know your situation? Is she sympathetic at all? I wonder if the NAS might have any advice, you'd think the HA threatening you would be in breach of discrimination laws or something

{{{hugs}}} to you

Does your son have a gp or social worker or someone who can testify that the noise/behaviour is something that you and he have little control over?

I've tried the NAS and they have said that they don't know about discimination applying to ASD.
My neighbour knows about him but I felt quite patronised by her when she said ' Iknow all about Autism. I live next door to you!'
She's on a one woman mission to clean up the estate. She wants all the neighbourhood kids to be completely silent so not to wake her dd, the vandalism stopped (understandably) etc. But she won't talk to the kids. I have the end house so I expected football against the wall, she accused me of encouraging it because I didn't tell them to stop!
If they are making too much noise or being a nuisiance, I go and ask them to tone it down. They are perfectly resonable! Never had any back chat or agression from them.

Thats awful.
Perhaps you could write her a letter or print off this thread !
Could you not turn the situation around and complain about her discrimination ?
Perhaps a compromise-i have very noisy neighbours and an issue with their barking dog-not the same i know, but we came to a compromise that i should expect quiet between 12 and 6 am.Not very helpful when trying to get 3 children to bed at 8pm but that was our compromise and at least we get some sleep now.
Does your son keep her awake much of the night?
If its just daytime she`s just shallow because you have enough on your plate.It must be hard work and i hope it gets easier x

What a cow! I had a similar situation with my son who has AS traits and you're right - when you try to keep them quiet it just puts pressure on them and makes the situation worse. Could you get a letter from your pedriatrician to explain to the HA?

Thanks all. Had to disappear to my ASD support group and offload!
It's not all night thank god. He's in bed for 9pm at the latest give or take at the weekends.
I have spoken to a housing officer who was worse than useless!! The only thing she could suggest was moving to one of their bungalows but they can't say if/when one will become available.
OTOH I have seen a house on the exchange list that might be good for us. It's in the same street as my cousin, still an end house so only 1 neighbour to irritate and only 15 minutes fom ds' school. It's a shame it's in the next town but I will do what's best for me and ds. I'm going to phone the tenant tomorrow and ask questions about the neighbours there etc.