domestic violence - the last taboo?

[hellobello]

It's hard and horrible to talk about this, but my past has been slung back in my face in a miserable and terrifying way. My brother is losing his temper, smashing things and people in his own home and in my parents' home. He is behaving in EXACTLY the same way as my dad. I am feeling a bit better now, but I realised that I have spent so many years unable to function normally in the world feeling absolutely terrified, alienated and alone. How do you start to express how it is to be battered and shouted at for no reason?

I have recovered from a long-standing eating disorder and stopped smoking nearly 4 years ago. I think I may have to stop drinking as I use it as something to beat myself up with sometimes.

I so badly don't want my children to be affected by the awfulness that has nearly destroyed me.

I'm really sorry if I've uspet anyone or if I sound completely mad. Has anyone else out there recovered from being battered?

Have you ever had any form of councelling?
i think even the strongest people who seem to be "together" about domestic violance in their past need that time for themselves, whwre they can talk over the fears and feelings they have in relation to their experianc.

I spent 7 years with an abusive partner and outwardly i was fine. i ama very string person who found it deeply humiliating ot admit to people what i had been through, i always resisted any help as a result.

Thankfully i was pretty much ordered to attend a survivors of domestic violance group. (well it was hinted at that it would help me in court so i went along begrudgingly) and it has helped me more thani could ever expres, or even realise.

i think you should speak wiht your GOP about some talking therapies.
i think your brothr also needs a lot of hel. it is quite common for children, particularly boys to grow into abusive adults because that is what they have seen as the "norm". it is frequantly the case that young girls enter abusive relationships for the same reason.

try not to blame yourself for your brother's actions.

I'm getting as much help as I can find! I think the events of last weekend were a shocking wake-up call to just how horrific things were. I've been talking to people for over 20 years now about one thing and another and for the time being I'm seeing someone who is helping a lot I think. I am really shocked by how much DV can bend one's head. I have recently started to be able to see a future and feel a bit better in the world. It was a horrible setback with my brother. I have never met other people who have been battered. I have met loads of women who have suffered incest. Thank you for your kind words.

It's pretty lonely, considering how common it is supposed to be.

hellobello nothing constructive to add just for you and sending hugs