I don’t know where else to vent so I’m going to here, sorry if it’s long. When I was young I pictured my life so completely different. Back then I was smart, had friends, and was talented at sports. Now I’m a complete loser. I’m 21 and only half way finished with an associates degree, I’m in an unhappy, lifeless, sad, marriage that I will probably have to stay in forever, and I have literally no friends. I cry every night thinking of what a screw up I am. None of my childhood friends talk to me nor like me. I literally have no one to talk to besides 2 kids and a husband who doesn’t understand or care. I have done nothing with my life and I’m so ashamed that I fantasize suicide, but I don’t want my kids to go through something like that. On top of evrerything I have bad luck all the time. I accidentally bought shoes that were different sizes and was yelled at when I tried returning them, I broke my new phone on Easter at church, my professor graded one of my assignments with a 100 then turned around and put a 50 instead, my family is ashamed of me and think I’m a piece of shit. Plus I’m a horrible mother. I yell at my kids 100% too much because of how stressed and depressed I am. They deserve better, but they’re stuck with me. Sorry if this is jumbled I just needed to get it off my chest.