Mother in Law rant (probably going to be long)

[toddlerbob]

I have a 17 month old ds and work from home. My MIL is retired. My FIL is 70 today and so MIL wants to throw him a do. We decided to have it here, just DH, me, DS, FIL, MIL and BIL so that ds could go to bed when he had had enough.

I was happy with that because MIL said that she would get a caterer to deliver food and we have a dishwasher. Then she found out how much caterers cost and it was downgraded to a takeaway - still all good. DS has an egg and peanut allergy and so I vetoed chinese and Thai, FIL hates curry and obviously fish and chips are not very birthday (probably something wrong with pizza also but don't know what). So in the end MIL came to conclusion that roasting a chicken would be simple, feed us all etc. At this point I'm getting less enthusiastic, but she says she will bring all the veggies etc.

So I wait in all morning and she turns up late with all the veggies just bought from the shop, so not peeled or chopped or in dishes or anything, a couple of red peppers (I know you can make something creative with them dear)and off she goes to take FIL out to lunch - leaving me with all the bloody work cooking a roast for 6 people!

Pissed off does not even begin to describe it!

Can't you get in caterers and just hand her the bill? Or work out your hourly rate and charge her for your time and culinary skills?

I'd say it's time for dh to intervene and set her straight.

I know exactly what you mean, MILs can be horrid and enough to make your blood boil some days!
All I can suggest is to smile sweetly and get on with it. You won't get anywhere ranting about her to your dh except in his bad books. I've learned from experience that it's just not worth it. Rant on MN instead and let us make you feel better. It really is only worth making a fuss if it's over something more serious than veggies - I don't mean to play down what she did, she was totally wrong and inconsiderate , but it would be more effort than it's worth to kick up a stink. Just make a vow to yourself that when your ds is grown up and married, you won't ever be like her

can't you run out to local supermarket and buy some pre-roasted chickens, do with big salad and nice bread - as 'far too hot to have roast dinner'? Know it is still work for you, but roast dinner in August? That way you can chop the peppers into the salad!

or find a salad with red peppers chopped into it -so MIL will never know it is not her peppers

I was going to suggest the same as catgirl...FIL isn't going to want a roast dinner if he has had a large lunch as well, is he?

Did this all happen yesterday, Toddlerbob? Did you actually cook the chicken?

Hmmmm. Toddlerbob - if not too late, if it was me, I'd go back to a Chinese or Thai takeaway and give DS something else - much less trouble that all that chopping and roasting - and an 18 month old won't be sensitive to having a different meal, will he?

Any chance of a bbq instead? at least then, they can all share in the cooking of the food and you just chop up the veggies and marinate in a sauce and soak some skewers as preparation.

Reminds me of my dear FIL's 70th. As she left on holiday, 10 days before the big day, MIL asked DH to ring round a few people (list of friends produced) and book a table at posh London restaurant of her choice. By the time I pointed out to DH that we were away that weekend on a longstanding old mates plus kids annual get-together she was long gone. Cue endless, expensive calls abroad to persuade her to either do it without us or change the date (during which we were called selfish among other things) to the actual (midweek) birthday date. Eventually she relented, the table was booked for the midweek date, only for me to discover that it now clashed with a big office 'do' that I couldn't miss. On the night I went for a pre-dinner drink (feeling a little guilty I admit and armed with a huge pressie) but they were late so DP and I enjoyed a glass of bubbly and I shot off in a taxi literally as they walked in. Now, anyone like a guess as to who picked up the tab? You could not make it up...

Oh Sinclair that makes my evening sound like a merry old time.

It's the middle of winter in nz so a roast chicken was nice. I just roasted all the veggies and popped the peas in the microwave. Actually it was pretty easy and I'm a good cook, it was more the assumption that it would be okay.

MIL arrived at 5.55 (we were eating at 6pm) and apologises but "lunch was so exhausting we both fell asleep". So I was peeling and chopping while they were having a catnap!

When I brought out the cake FIL thought I had done it so I didn't say anything and watched MIL's chin drop to the floor as I took the credit.

She told him eventually but it made her look a bit petty.