A rant....Or, don't make me angry, you wouldn't like it when I'm angry.....

[DrDaddy]

I'm getting pretty fed up with the endless bickering that has been spawned by the horrific Madeleine McCann case. And it brings to the fore something that troubles me now and again on this site. The whole ethos of mumsnet being like a discussion down the pub is fine, but when people are down the pub and they disagree or don't like what they hear, they move away and have a discussion elsewhere. That is why there are three threads about the topic, one which is devoted to lighting candles....
But there seems to be a desire or need on the part of some MNers, and there are familiar faces here, to deride, goad and bloody stick their oar in on any thread. If this same group kept appearing and butting in on your conversation whilst you were down the pub, when you'd deliberately moved away, you'd quite rightly tell them fuck off.

or nut them

yes. we need an emoticon for nutting i think

Love the title.

Name then then and tell them to go forth and multiply.

Don't use your metaphores here if you are not about to do what you say you would in real life

i'll stand at the back and wait for you to start with the names then

Fantastic littlelapin, do you think it would come up that big if it were an emoticon?

Seriously though DrD you make a good point. But I fear this thread may go the way of the others...

I think people do tell others to fuck off though........and quite regularly.

FFF - No.

Henrietta - Yes, you're probably right. Yawn. But now I've had my little rant I feel a bit better....

familiar faces?

what, like

or

or

although actually I think you have rather a valid point .. hope I'm not included in your 'familiar faces' .. don't think I did that, did I?

Twig - no

I have kept away from those threads for the very reason that I 'knew' things would kick off...

The desire to 'deride, goad, and bloody stick your oar in' is part of human nature. It would be bloody boring if all threads were a model of zen-like harmony.

The point about a virtual chat room is that you only get a virtual beating ... unlike down the pub, where you get a real one.

Which hurts more.

And no, I'm not referring to the McCann threads. They're not good at all.

this is more what i had in mind!

rabble - Yes, I agree with you. But we're supposed to be part of a community of parents, not a bunch of yobs in the pub. I think one of the best things about this site is its lively debate; its worst aspect is the almost bullying nature of some of the people on here. DW has seen it happen on threads about weaning for example. You can argue hammer and tongs with someone and still respect their position.

Totally agree with that.

And I agree, DrDaddy. I've had a good pasting on here a few times, and I sometimes sit back and wonder why. To others it's always obvious, but not necessarily to the person who's getting the pasting.

I think one of the problems is that we're all using a forum which is purely based on text. We cannot see the nuance, the lilt in the voice, the twinkle in the eye, or the people we're interacting with. Most of the 'discussions' on MN, were they to happen in the pub, would not result in the same, bickering denouement. The written word is more graphic than the spoken one.

There is a bullying minority on MN which makes it very difficult to have a sensible debate. The downside of it is that you end up being flippant or coarse in the face of people with very strident political views who quite literally sneer at any opposing viewpoint, however delicately put.

So a good point, and well raised.

Thanks. Yes, you're right about the medium. It's like email, which can be very brutal. You need to watch the way you express yourself. Emoticons can help, but only to some degree. If we were to take the pub analogy further, 'The Mumsnet Arms' would have a few people sitting round having an actual conversation and the majority dashing in, shouting the odds, then dashing back out again to do whatever they were actually doing....