Wedding Abroad - Invite Wording & Present Advice...HELP!!!!

[rosco]

My fiance and I are getting married next year. Our problem is that because there are SOOOO many people we want to invite (over 300!) it would cost us a fortune and we wouldn't be able to have the wedding we want. We have decided to have our wedding in the Bahamas with just a very small select group of 20 people. When we get back we want to have a summer party (buffet etc) for all the other people. We have been offered a venue FOC by a good friend of my Fiance's. Wine & Pimms & soft drinks etc will be provided but there will be a paying bar for the other drinks. Some of our friends won't be able to afford to come out for the wedding but we don't want to offend them by not inviting them and some of my parents friends (who I would have invited were we having a big bash but wouldn't ordinarily invite to our small wedding) have already said they will come to the Bahamas for the wedding. We are hosting the wedding ourselves and need some advice on how to word the invites for the wedding and for the reception. Would a separate invite for each 'do' be acceptable. Also what is the general feeling about presents from the people not invited to the actual ceremony. The reason I ask this is that a lot of my parent's friends have said they would like to buy us something - (but is that until they find out about the wedding arrangements). I don't want to send out anything about wedding presents etc in the invites but would rather wait until we know who is coming and send something out at a later date. I'm hoping the wealth of wisdom out there can help this stressed bride to be!

when we got married we never mentioned presents at all that way people don't feel they have to "pay" to come to the wedding so to speak and it's left purely up to them wether they buy or not which most do.

As for the invations i would write two seperate ones out that way when the reply's come you have the numbers for both.

HTH

It is my understanding that any mention of presents - other than to say 'no presents please' - is a complete faux pas.

I would send out 2 invitations for the same reason mentioned by LK.

DH and I were also married abroad (but where my family all still live) We had some friends that came over for it - they had a holiday at the same time and stayed on after the wedding. Your idea of having some sort of 'do' for those who don't join you in the Bahamas is a great idea
(something that we always planned but never did....)I agree with not mentioning presents - people who want to get you a present will, regardless of whether they attend in the Bahamas or at the one you have later on. We had presents given to us by people who didn't attend - esp by friends of both parents who watched either dh or I 'grow up'.
Can't really help you with the wording though, I'm sure you'll get some good tips here

It's perfectly OK to have two separate invites I think.

As for the gifts - I don't think it's a faux pas to mention any list you may have (some people prefer it as it saves them from asking/agonising). But it does make a difference that people aren't invited to the ceremony I think. So not sure.

We had the same worry (we were inviting people to the ceremony, but I worry about it anyway). So in the end we put a note in with the invites that said something like "we're not expecting present. However if you would like to get us a token something then there's a list on this website" [and the website has lots of cheap or free items].

Perhaps it was a faux pas, but it's done now!

(BTW we need testers for this website if you want to do the same thing. I've mentioned this before. Starting to sound like a stuck record)

I would send out invitations to the party and put in a little note saying that of course they are all welcome to come to the Bahamas but for those who would rather save their cash, here's a party (or words to that effect!)

Leave the pressies up to them. Don't mention it. Get a wedding list (if you are having one) and if anyone asks then tell them where it is. I think it's up to them whether they bring a pressie or not and to direct them one way or the other would be a bit cheeky IMHO!!

Oh yes - wording for invites:

the wedding one is straightforward -

rosco and Mr Rosco

request the pleasure of the company of

...............

at their wedding to be held...bla de bla.

For the other do, I'd go a bit less formal:

Rosco and Mrs Rosco

are very pleased to invite

.......................

to a wedding celebration party at.....

How about that?

Agree about the two separate invites too. Ama bit ambivalent about wedding lists, I can see why some people find them distasteful, but I find them very handy, as would much rather buy people something I know they want! We got married in the south of France (ceremony in France and reception in Spain...but only a 45 mn drive from one to the other!), and had as wedding list in France with items that could be bought in the UK. It worked out very well. So I would have a list for the people invited to the Bahamas. But I wouldn't mention presents for the other do in the UK. Good luck!

I would do two seperate invites as well.

As for the second party - we had a blessing and reception followed by our wedding abroad. And we also hosted it ourselves. I will just go hunt out a copy of the invite for the wording..........

Here we are (this was suggested to us from printers):

xxx xxx (Bride's maiden name)

and

xxx xxx (Groom's name)

would like you to join them

to celebrate the blessing of their marriage

at xxxx (location)

on xxx xxx (date)

at xxx (time)

Please reply to

xxxx (address)

The line regarding the celebrate marriage could be changed obviously to omit blessing:

• to celebrate their recent marriage

(perhaps saying where: ... in The Bahamas)

As we were the only ones at opur wedding ceremony invites and presents there weree not an issue. At the blessing some people came to the church and reception, others just to the reception. We did not formally mention presents but did have a very informal list that people asked us for afterwards. The list was then mentions from person to person rather than from us directly. We found that all our guests did buy us something - regardless of which bit they came too.