My son is 15 weeks old now but I had an awful pregnancy.
My partner was a drug addict, I didn’t know but when I found out I was really upset, it caused big arguments and when he finally admitted that he had a problem after going back and forth from it he knew he needed help so I stayed with him whilst he got help. He went councilling, got put on antidepressants and stayed away from the people that he use to do it with. I found out I was pregnant In March 2017 he was so excited and happy he really wanted to start a family but then less than a week later he was abit off with me that day then went out with these ‘mates’ and done drugs again, so we split up over it and I was contemplating an abortion as it’s not something I wanted to bring a child up into. He apologised and said he would never do it again he wants us to have this baby etc so I gave him another chance trying to leave the past in the past and move forward. Cutting the rest of it short he done it a few more times during my pregnancy, lied to me a lot, telling me he was coming home soon etc then never turned up, he started messaging a girl he use to sleep with telling her he missed her and they were planning on meeting up etc I don’t know if they ever did and I don’t think I know everything that was said between them as the messages was deleted and she won’t tell me everything and this started in July and finished in September when I found out. All of this put a lot of stress on my pregnancy, I started having a lot of panic attacks at work, when I went shopping etc, I started to bleed throughout my pregnancy, I would pass out, go dizzy, I was a mess, my mood was up and down. I know coming off drugs can make you change instantly because of the changes in your head and body and what it’s craving. The last time he took anything was in September.
Since we have been together I’ve helped him change his life around for the better, I’ve helped him with his drugs, I helped him get out of debt and out of his over draft, I pushed him to do his theory test and driving test ( he kept failing his theory before I met him then passed it first time when I pushed him to do it) and he loves driving now, he hated his last job where we met they treated him unfairly so he quit that job and I supported him financially and now he’s got a better job than before that he likes doing.
Getting to the point now
It was my birthday 3 weeks ago and 2 days before my birthday my boyfriend nipped to town for half an hour got me a card from one shop then went next door and got me a bottle of perfume for my birthday. In the morning he made me breakfast he put 2 eggs in the microwave with milk with 2 slices of toast, the eggs were minging and sloppy but I didn’t say anything and just said thankyou, then he gave me my card and present (perfume) I said thankyou but inside I felt abit crap about it, like there’s no effort at all in it (and not trying to sound big or anything but I already have 50 bottles of perfume on my shelf that has been collecting for a few years from friends and family etc) and I knew exactly where he went for them and I know they are next door to each other. At this point I still didn’t say anything so he went to make his breakfast and I went to get ready. He came up stairs to me with his breakfast and my god it looked so good there was no microwaved sloppy eggs and milk in sight so at that point I had to make a little comment so I said wow that looks really good and then carried on getting ready. We went down stairs and he put the tv on and I said are we not doing anything today and his reply was oh do you want to do something? So I said well clearly you haven’t planned anything then. So I went in the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess from breakfast. He came into the kitchen just as I finished in there and asked what’s wrong and I said I don’t think you’ve made any effort at all and he just made a huff then walked off and carried on watching tv. So I just done some cleaning and at 3 o clock I got my coat and shoes on to go pick my 4 year old up from school (he hasn’t spoken to me for 3 hours at this point) and then walks to the door saying what’s wrong with you and I said I’ve told u what’s wrong and U didn’t like my answer so you just don’t talk to me for 3 hours, this then turns into a massive argument, we end up finishing our relationship he told me he doesn’t give a shit about my birthday etc and left me in tears.
I do everything for him, I do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping, all the night feeds (even on my birthday when the baby woke up he woke up and said happy birthday to me which was nice but he could of at least let me have the night off since it was my birthday) and I know I’m on maternity right now but I done all that before my maternity and still in a full time job.
We have made up since then but he says I’m really ungrateful, he does think he put effort in, his mum agrees with him of course 🙄 And his Muslim friend that don’t celebrate birthdays agrees with him too. I don’t have a mum to ask she passed away from cancer a year and a half ago, and the 2 friends I asked agreed with me and said that they would be upset too but I want other people’s opinion that I don’t know, I want to know if I’m being unfair about it, I’m still upset and cry a little when I think about it but after everything I’ve been through with him, through the pregnancy, difficult birth, and what I do for him (btw on his birthday I go all out buy him everything I possibly can, make him a cake etc cuz it’s his day I like to make him feel special) I just wanted him to make me feel like I meant something to him and that he thought about me.
Sorry for the long story!