Prem baby - Mother's Day forgotten

[Jessmummy311]

Hi all, I'm coming on here as I don't feel I can talk to anyone and would really like your perspectives and advice. Me and my husband had a premature baby (at 29 weeks) in June. Since having him health wise everything has been a struggle and both baby and me have spent much time in and out of hospital and not to lay it on thick it has included stays in intensive care - so pretty poorly. Not too long ago I contracted sepsis which meant another stay in hospital and this was the final straw for me and something mentally snapped which I did get help for. This year was my first Mother's Day and whilst I made a card and got flowers and chocolates for my husband to give to his mum, he chose to totally ignore me. No acknowledgement nothing. A few days on I really feel like rubbish as this really hurts me and I'm not sure whether it's normal to feel as hurt as I do. I know it's stupid to feel this rubbish about a card but at the moment I can't even stand to be around him and I'm really struggling to snap out of it. Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated

I am sad to hear of your struggles with your health and baby, I hope your baby is getting stronger each day.

Firstly.....have you said anything to your husband?

Another prem mum here, sorry you have had to go through all of this.

Is it possible your husband didn’t think he had to get you anything? A lot of husbands just don’t think about it the same as we do unfortunately. And with everything you’ve both had to contend with it’s possible it just wasn’t on his radar. He probably didn’t mean to upset you.

Poor you :-( sorry to hear you had such a rough time. Hopefully you'll both be out of hospital for good soon :-)

I'd try to mention it to hubby at a good time... Not in the middle of an argument or anything but when he may realise he's accidentally been thoughtless.

Xx

This is going to sound lame but I sent him a text. He said he was sorry and that he was going to get me a card but that the weekend was hectic and he didn't have a chance. We were at my in laws which is about 4 hours away as his grandma is poorly, so I thought it would be a nice gesture to go up there with the rest of the family and nice for his Mum. His family are lovely but I would have probably preferred to spend it in my own house, but I was doing it for him. The problem I have is that during the weekend he managed to do stuff he wanted to do. He even went to a shop that morning, looked at new sofas, went out for lunch etc so I struggle when he says he is soo hectic. Not to sound spout he hasn't even tried to make it up to me. I'm not sure if it's post natal depression coming back but I just feel like he must think that little of me. Esp as he got my little one to hand over to his grandma the card we had done for her in front of me. I can't get my first Mother's Day back and it sounds so silly but I really resent him for it

It doesn't sound silly to me, your Mother's Day was a biggie for you, you've gone through so much to get here. Are you close to his Mum? Could you talk to her? Given that you've spoken to him I'm not sure there's much you can do. I'd be inclined to ignore Father's Day which sounds petty and probably not what you want to do but it might make him realise how it felt for you. ♥️