Do you know any simple jokes that my nearly 5 year old will love?

[enid]

My mind has gone blank...she is suddenly into jokes. The ones she loves are the simple 'knock-knock' ones eg 'Knock knock, whos there, boo, boo who? O dont cry its only a joke'

There must be loads! Help me impress her with my wit, o wise mumsnetters...

Knock Knock
Who's there
Atish
Atish Who

Bless you

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow says Moo, not who!

Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ella.
Ella who?
Ella-phant.

knock knock
who's there?
dishwasher
dishwasher who?
dishwasher way I talked when I losht my falsh teeth

my dog's got no nose - how does he smell? terrible!

What goes Ha Ha Ha PLOP?
someone laughing their head off!

Whats Black and White and Red all over?
either a Newspaper OR
a sunburnt Zebra!

Why did the banana go to the doctors?
Because he wasn't 'peeling' very well!

What do you call a fish with no eye
fsh

What do you call a donkey with 3 legs ?
Wonkey

What do you call a deer with no eyes
No-Eye Deer

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes Doyouthink-he-saw-us

great, keep 'em coming!

Toilet humour always goes down well......

Knock knock
Who's there?
Dunup.
Dunup who?
Urrr, you've done a poo!!

Mmm, agree with toilet humour

My DS1 (6yo) favourite at the moment is :

"what's green and smelly?"

The Incredible Hulk's guff!

This site has loads of knock knock jokes .

enid - get a joke book from Borders, childrens' section. My daughter loves these. Plus it gets a 'won't read' reading. Just be prepared to practise your fixed grin.

This came from my six year old today. (Apologies, but I roared!)
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh!

Message withdrawn

My nearly 5 year old loves this one:

What did the sea say to the sand?
Nothing she only waved

Enid - that's my 4.5 year old's top joke too. His other one is 'what do you say to a budgie on a bench?' Budge up.
I'll be trying some of these on him tonight!

Knock Knock
Who's there
Joe
joe who?
Joking!

What's long and orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot?

Knock knock
whho's there?
Toodle
Toodle who?
Oh, don't go, you only just arrived!

What do you say to a cow that's in your way?

Moooooooove!

WARNING!!!!!
A dirty joke for the adults, don't read if you're going to be offended.

What do you do if you come across a tiger?

Say you're sorry and wipe it off!

That's one of dh's, can you tell?

You asked !

What instruments do skeletons play? .....The trombone

Why does The Imp get indegestion?........Goblin his food

How can you tell a monsters been in your bathroom?..........He left the top off the toothpaste

How do you spot a polite ghost?....He only spooks when he is spoken to

What does a witch do when she goes on a diet?....she joins weight witches

They get worse....need I go on?

My ds's favourites when young, though not suitable perhaps,

"Mummy, Mummy why do I keep going 'round in circles"?...."Be quiet or I will nail the other foot to the floor"

"Mummy,Mummy, can I lick the bowl please?"..."No dear, you can flush the chain like everyone else"

Bunglie I used to love those ones too: 'mummmy, mummy, how far is it to australia?' 'Shut up and keep swimming'.

These are all fantastic, thanks everyone, we are going to have a marathon joke session tonight

why did the chewing gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

What do you get if you walk under a cow?
A pat on the head.

My ds 5yrs has been giggling about these jokes all afternoon. What a great thread.