When does passion take over from politics?

[hatmum]

Discuss!

Vgf (very good friend) is going to marry a man (whom I haven't met) whose politics are diametrically opposed to her own.

Could you do it?

Don't think I could. But then I have a life history of falling for lefty types. Find DP's marginal political differences from mine hard enough to take.

Hmm, interesting. Doubt it but it depends how sure he was of himself. If I saw glimmers of hope it might be worth sticking around. There is an article about John Bercow (Tory bloke) in today's Indie and, on paper, he looks like a tory tosser . But his wife is a Labour supporter and it is believed that her influence has made him see the error of his ways on a number of issues.

Yes I think you can as long as you have other things in common and plenty of patience. I guess it also depends on how passionate you feel about your politics, if you are very pro animal rights, you could not really be with someone who supported animal rights and is happy to kill his own meals!

This is all about coming to terms with the fact that she & I share lots of views and her fiance is really out there on a lot of issues - guns, death penalty, realtionship between citizen & state, media in politics etc. Dh and I talk a lot of politics but come from the same mindset and I don't think I could marry someone who was soooooo different esp when it came to impacting on family life.

But then if dh were still dh and he thought differently would I still be with him regardless because my heart was out there?

I have done. It helps that wilst dh's political views are far to the right of mine, he isn't really all that interested, so it's just something we don't talk about. And his ethical and moral values are very similar to mine.

if one is passionate and one largely indifferent then the only prob you get is hatred of their political apathy.
I am far too left mostly to tolerate a political opponent in the home.
It is not concidence that I have ended up with the man I have, his family politics mirror mine, it works for us...
I am the passionate one, he is resolute but not passionate...

similar to prufrock. i make lots of jokes about his political views being to the right of genghis khan (think I cribbed that joke from yes minister).

I agree that if your values are the same, then it doesn't matter if your politics are different. If you both want the same thing in society, but you disagree on how it can be acheived, then you can get on - it's when you want different things that you have problems. (EG if one of you wants the world dictatorship of the proletariat, and the other wants the whole human race sterilised so that bears can take over the world.)

Not sure I could do it. Partner and I have just had a passionate disagreement about cheese strings (him for, me against, against, against, against) so I can't quite imagine how we'd cope if one of us had Daily Mail politics. Can't even go with the good influence argument at the moment, tinker, given that said cheese strings are still in the fridge...

Scummy I get v passionate about the likes of cheese strings too. I'm with you on this one

Definitely not! IMO (and experience) politics are worse than religion for disagreeing on. It underlies your beliefs on too many things which are too important. (Besides which, if I'd married a Tory, my Mum would have disinherited me )

Good lord no, I couldn't marry a Tory! I'm with you on the cheese strings Scummy, tell him NO! They are WRONG!

just saw my contrib, I meant supports animal experiments btw. My dh is abit indifferent to politics whereas I am quite interested in this area. However, we have both grown disillushioned with labour together!

I think that you are confusing morals with politics. For the most part, the difference between the main political parties is in the process to get to the same end. Both the Tory's and Labour are aiming to have the majority of the population healthy, happy and wealthy and not to have the very poor, etc. etc. However they have different ideas on the best way to get there. I don't see why a husband and wife can't have different ideas of how to better the world as long as their concepts of what makes a good world are more or less in agreement.
I am the only Republican/Tory that most of my friends know (I grew up in Berkeley!), but that doesn't stop us from being good friends.

What about where the political ideology spills over into every day life - assume it's agreed that we all want a nicer, more peaceful world with no poverty etc and there are various routes to achieving that none of which are particularly clear cut as the one & only - where that happier state is achieved by saluting a flag every morning beacuse it invests a sense of honour & faith in your country as an ideal, by keeping a gun to defend your property and being willing to use it, by vesting your faith in politicians whom you believe are appointed by God and should not be questioned?

Hatmum, interesting question...I know someone in a very similar position (wonder if it is the same woman? )
What about long-time marrieds whose partners start veering off-course politically due to hardening of brain arteries? Dh has been starting to turn into Victor Meldrew lately. We're both still greeny/left of centre but he's gone a bit strange, foaming at the mouth when Tony Blair appears on TV, and starting chuntering about UKIP having some good ideas etc. Now, I find dh's behaviour worrying, especially the UKIP bit. Should I cut up his passport for him and then divorce him?
On cheese strings we remain united, however. So maybe there is still hope.

Yes very interesting. Dh and I are at total opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to politics. He is staunch tory and I am an active member of the labour party. My Dad is a laboul ward councillor, so I grew up on politics and am pretty passionate about it. I always remember as a liitle girl I would promise my Dad I'd never marry a tory! However when I met dh it didn't seem to matter, we do respect each others views, but do have many heated debates, especially during question time! And my Dad loves trying to 'convert' dh!

I am interested to see how ds will vote.

Dp and I have the same values and politics, but we often have different perspectives around world events and political tactics. This makes for interesting and enlightening discussion (when we have time - like never). My Mum has always voted Labour and Dad had a brief Tory stint...but I couldn't be with someone with an opposing political belief. Though I can see a serious Cheese String debacle on the horizon....

explain cheese strings is it a multinational corporate i'm not gonna contribute to your profits thing..or are they just full of crap and no cheesy goodness?

my hubby is a yellow bellied lib dem and i am utterly ashamed how dare he. AND he almost run for councillor last year..the shame i tell you the shame. he doesn't belive in god and i do i think he would be up for a hanging or two - definatley castration in certain circumstances.

so. we dont really agree on such matters. however we can have heated and entertaining conversations after a glass or 5 of beer. and i think its abut respecting your partners views. so you can say " i hear what your saying ..but i disagree" and then agree to disagree

At our last local elections I helped out by doing some number catching at the polling station, and we went on to a candidates house for drinks, when dh came to pick me up one guy refused to be polite to my dh because of his beleifs. Crazy!

Custardo, they're full of crap but mainly I object because they're HORRIBLE! Taste nothing like cheese, yuk

Definately a big no to cheese strings.
I do get riled about dh's apathy - had a very big argument when he was not going to vote and insisted he did, even if he went and spoiled his paper (in the end he voted green, which was a wasted vote but made a point)
Mine is also starting to say he likes UKIP Marina. He shut up though when I asked him what their policies were - apart from taking us out of Europe.