Hello everyone. I am looking for some advice. I suspect my partner is addicted to cocaine as I have seen a rapid decline in his behaviour over the past few months. He has lost interest in everything. He doesn't play football anymore (his total passion). He constantly eats takeaway. He doesn't help at all round the house but instead just wants to lie in bed or the sofa. He doesn't get up for work in time and is late often. Here is the story....
He recently got a new job in London that saw him get a significant pay increase (double what he earned before) which was obviously brilliant for us as we are due to get married next year. He admitted to me previously that he had an issue with alcohol and found it hard to stop once he started. He told me with the new job he would not get into the drinking after work culture that goes on in London as he didn't want to paint that picture of himself due to his new role of higher responsibility. He even went to coffee shops instead of pubs for meetings which was a great sign he was taking this seriously.
Then suddenly out of the blue he was going for a pint for 'Joe Bloggs' birthday or whatever the reasons were. He began to do this more and more.
He told me before that he had taken cocaine but didn't like how it made him feel out of control. It then came to light that he had been dabbling in it on and off (even in the house while I was there). He admitted it and said he knows it's bad so will stop as it's expensive (this was before the pay rise).
He would have agreed with me when I tried to ground him and show him that he is going down the wrong path.
Fast forward to now. He has a new job with a high up role and higher pay. He is now going out on week nights and not even coming home. When he does he just shrugs it off like it's no big deal. He seems to have had a major shift in attitude and is trying the live the wolf of Wall Street lifestyle.
When he isn't doing this we have a lovely time together. We went out for dinner two weekends ago and were discussing our future kids and honeymoon. A week later (after doing three nights on the bounce) he has decided this 8 year relationship is not working anymore and that we don't get on. He wants the be single and free to do what he wants (which means he doesn't want accountability for his nights out). This was unexpected!!
Am I right in thinking a drug addiction can influence rash decisions like this? Or should I just accept he isn't in this for the long term anymore? I just find it hard to believe as he proposed to me and made a commitment. He always tells me he loves me and we have a good relationship when the nightlife isn't involved.
I'm heartbroken to say the least.