Tell me how to let go of real anger - bordering on hate

[JoshandJamie]

I can't say what it is that has happened but suffice to say that someone has done something that I feel is completely unjust and they are using bullying tactics to get their own way. I am having to just bend over and take it up the bum - partly because of my own stupidity and partly because I can't emotionally or financially afford to tackle this.

I am consumed with feelings of anger towards this person and want to just let it go so that I can move on, but everytime i think of it/the person, I get myself all angry again.

So please tell me how to move on. And apologies, will read any responses in the morning - I need to go to bed now and try calm myself down so that I can sleep.

Thanks in advance

Feel angry about the things you can change i.e. the future. Say goodbye to anything you cannot i.e. the past.

find a release: (punch a pillow repeatedly saying the things that you want to say to them until you have exhausted yourself)

have your anger acknowledged: find someone to hear your story and validate your feelings, to hear how angry you are

get to the hurt underneath: this helps a lot and may happen if you do either of the first two....anger is never the base emotion, there is often fear/terror and pain under there somewhere. and shame very often too.

sorry you're feeling this, it is awful when huge negative emotions take over....I find it very hard to deal with them and I'm in therapy!

Message withdrawn

sometimes writing it all down helps to get it out of your system. Write it as a letter and then burn it - you have poured out your feelings and are now letting them go.

Then if you can go for a long walk or run, preferably with music to listen to. It helps work off the adrenaline and gives you time to get your thoughts in order.

HTH

Many thanks for all the suggestions. Will definitely give them a try.

Is there no-one you trust to confide in about this?

I've felt this kind of rage before, it was so destructive that I almost felt consumed by it...every thought was about this person and who they had wronged me.

I remeber thinking one day that this amount of hatrid cannot be healthy and treid my best to let it go.

I never truely succeeded, and even now I feel wronged even though the other person has no way of wronging me further (sorry to be so cyptic) but I managed to let go of the most all consuming stuff and just kind of store the really bad stuff in a lock cabinet inside my head.

(Jeeeeeez, I sound completely mad!!)

HOW they had wronged me not who...

grrr, i really shuld learn to preview all the time.

"store the rest of really bad stuff"