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Original poster

I'm feeling really bad.

15 replies

mummyto6 · 30/04/2007 13:54

I'm not sure if this is in the right place but i need to tell somebody.We have got some really goods friend that live afew streets away.We have known each other for awhile,and have been very close.Since christmas i have been busy with one thing or the other,and haven't had the chance to go and see them.Anyway last friday my hubby was out the front talking to the man of this couple,and he told him he has mouth cancer.I feel really bad about not being there for them.My hubby has took them to the hospital today,and i have told them i will do anything to help.I don't think it's looking to good.He is looking at having a 16 hour op.I feel so helpless then i get angry with myself,when they must be going through hell.I just hope it's not to late to make it up to them.

OP posts:
LieselVentouse · 30/04/2007 13:57

Im sure they'll understand and how were you to know

GooseyLoosey · 30/04/2007 13:58

Its never too late to offer help and be there for them. Friendships always drift at some points - I'm sure they'll understand.

anorak · 30/04/2007 14:03

We all get busy with our lives, especially mums of 6! The important thing is that as soon as you knew they were facing problems you stepped in to help. No one could ask more.

Original poster
mummyto6 · 30/04/2007 14:11

I know you are all right,but i feel so guilty and then i feel guilty for feeling guilty.(iykwim).It's helped just to write it down. Right i'm going to put my feelings to the side,and do all that i can for them both.I just hope they have abit of good news today,but i think he will be in this week sometime for a big op.

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Original poster
mummyto6 · 30/04/2007 21:10

They have had just about the worst news they could have.If he doesn't have the op he has got 4-5 mths left to live.If he does have the op,they are taking his bottom jaw and tongue.This means having tubes to feed him fitted and a hole in his throut,and they will only do the op if tests on his lungs come back clear,they should get the results tomorrow.If they are clear he will have to go in next week.Then he has got just 30% chance of getting better.So please go to the denist regual for check ups.If he had gone just 3mths ago he would of had a 90% chance and just a small op to remove a lump on his tongue.I wish i could turn back the clock.

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Twinmummyx2 · 30/04/2007 21:21

Oh gosh, that is so sad.... i don't know what to say really, i have 8 children and i know what life can be like with lots of children, and i am sure they totally understand that too. The most important thing is that you are their for them now, sounds like they have got a tough time coming up and i am sure they are relieved they have you and your husband's support. Don't dwell on what could have been, be positive for them and think of things that could help them now.

Fingers crossed the results tomorrow come back clear.

Thinking of you all.
xx

Original poster
mummyto6 · 30/04/2007 22:17

Thank you for your kind message Twinmummyx2.I think that is the only thing any of us can do really is stay positive.I just hope he will have the op if he gets the go ahead tomorrow.But i have got a feeling he is going to say he doesn't want it,because it is a long op(16hrs) and a long recoverey.Then he might not get better or only give him an extra year or two.But to not have it done just doesn't bear thinking about.

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edam · 30/04/2007 22:26

Oh Mummyto6, what terrible news. Must have been a huge shock for you. That poor family.

Original poster
mummyto6 · 01/05/2007 21:09

They have had a phone call today from the hospital and have to go back tomorrow for the results,they won't tell them over the phone.I'm hoping that it's not bad news.I had a good talk to him today and he says he is going to have the op if it can go ahead,which is good to hear.He says he has never let anybody beat him at anything before and he isn't going to let this now.So everything now hangs on to what to results are tomorrow.

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Twinmummyx2 · 02/05/2007 07:51

I hope it's good news for them today. Keep in touch.x

Original poster
mummyto6 · 02/05/2007 09:45

My hubby has just took them to the hospital,they have got to be there for 10 o'clock.I just hope the results of the MRI are clear.I can't help thinking if they were clear they would have told them on the phone yesterday,but i'm hoping it's just the way they do things.If they are clear he will have to go in tomorrow or friday to have feeding tubes fitted.Fingers crossed it's good news today.

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Twinmummyx2 · 02/05/2007 11:06

Hmm was thinking the same to be honest..BUT..they may have been called in to get results and then to talk more about the op...so it could still mean everything will go as planned.

Original poster
mummyto6 · 02/05/2007 11:29

I really hope so.I haven't heard from them yet,but they were there 2.5 hrs last time,and that was in with the doctors not waiting.

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Twinmummyx2 · 02/05/2007 18:10

any news mummyto6??

Original poster
mummyto6 · 02/05/2007 20:35

The cancer has spread to his lungs.The op is no longer a option at this stage.He is going in hospital on monday for a week long course of chemo.Not sure how many courses he has got to have,but he has got to have radiotherapy has well.They think this is better then the op,but i think this is 2nd best and they are doing it just to try and give him more time.They think this is going to kill the cancer for afew years and when it comes back he can have more treatment.I don't think it has sunk in with them that this is going to just keep coming back till it kills him.Don't get me wrong i hope to god they are right and they listened to what the doctors were saying,but when they were told monday the op was the only cure this just doesn't seem right to me.

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