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Original poster

THOSE FLYERS THAT COME IN THE DOOR...GRAN GOING TO BANKRUPT HERSELF! ANY IDEAS????

38 replies

fireflyfairy2 · 21/04/2007 16:19

You know the type.. the ones that come inside newspapers ofering you magical cream, or a pair of oven gloves free if you order some trousers....

She has spent thousands of pounds on these

I am fuming with the companies as I feel they target the elderly who are lonely & often quite well off. This has been happening for months. But it only really came to a head this week as she had a heart attack & we have been opening her mail. There are boxes under her dining table unopened since last year.

She has ordered sweets from Austria, steamers for the microwave from yugoslavia, yan de vres (sp) stuff at over £50 a pot still unopened in the bathroom cabinet.

she has ordered 3 or 4 of the same things. Wax strips that she didn't even know what they for, a jar of handwash gel at £32. 2 tins of duck terrine from heavens knows where

She needs help I know, she is 84 but she has been starting to dote lately & she has ordered 3 or 4 of the same things, now you'd think that some of these companies would notice & stop taking advantage.

Also, some begging letters where she has been sending £20 cheques off every month for something or other, "We need £28,907 to buy cara & her friends their dinner, please forward a cheque to the shopping fund ASAP" etc..

She ordered bags from etheopia. 2 sets of wooden hand made rosary beads [she is a practising protestant!!]

What I need to know, please, before she has spent all her money & is left in debt, how can I stop these flyers/begging letters being sent to her??

I hope someone knows

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 21/04/2007 16:22

I don't know if there might be a postal preference service like the telephone preference service?

zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 16:24

age concern may be able to advise you they are good at this sort of thing

jujuthejetmum · 21/04/2007 16:25

firefly so sorry, this is worrying for you. has she signed up to the mailing preference service?

link

happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 16:26

Message withdrawn

Nbg · 21/04/2007 16:26

Yeah gwet registered with the PPS and TPS straight away.

I would maybe then go through all of the letters and call the companies and explain whats been happening and tell them to take her off their mailing lists as she is unaware of what she is purchasing.

Poor grandma

happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 16:27

Message withdrawn

Original poster
fireflyfairy2 · 21/04/2007 16:30

Thanks everyone.

No, she hasn't signed up for the mailing preference service. Can we do it for her?

Thing is, if she doesn't get the post, she can't reply, so we have been there in the mornings siphering it for her... this morning she had 12 letters, all promising her she had won thousands of pounds, all she had to do was reply & send a cheque......

According to her friend she has been going through a chequebook every fortnight

When MIL sopke to her this morning she was like a petulant child who had ben told off, as we found she had ordered more wax strips even though when we opened the package yesterday she had no idea what they were for, yet today she was ordering more!!!!!!!!

I am aware her late husband left her well off, & I know she is entitled to spend her money on whatever she wants, but I feel sick at how much she has spent over the years on stuff we have noticed sitting around, and the free gifts she has sent off for... a lip shaped radio, a clock that opens letters, a pineapple corer (she give me that!)a wind up clown, a porclain doll...oh I could go on, but sure what good would it do me.

I think she has an addiction that goes beyong lonliness.

OP posts:
Nbg · 21/04/2007 16:31

Yes you could do the PPS for her.
I'll link it for you.

Nbg · 21/04/2007 16:32

Here You can do the telephone one from this site too.

This is really sad.

zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 16:33

she finds it fun?

morally awkward isn't it

especially if she can afford it

Original poster
fireflyfairy2 · 21/04/2007 16:34

That's a good idea NBG.

Happybiggirl, we asked her this morning ( she's home from hosp now)if we could take her cheque book but she said she needed it to pay bills etc & she needs to shop from home through the daxon catalogue etc as she doesn't get out to buy clothes.

so MIL left her the chequebook. (she's my hubby's granny)

I am going to write/call the mail preference place & try & get the number off the mailing lists, someone needs to do something

OP posts:
jujuthejetmum · 21/04/2007 16:35

I'm almost sure I did it online for my mum and aunt but she still seems to get a lot of sales telephone calls and some general rubbish in the post. Thing is you don't know if it's working because you don't know how much you would have got IYKWIM still it can't do any more harm

I agree that Age Concern must have had experience of this sort of thing.

jujuthejetmum · 21/04/2007 16:35

my typing's so slow I'm cross posting here sorry

zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 16:37

the mail preference service and the telephone preference service don't stop companies yoiu have a relationship with..which she does

I think if she wants her cheque book and wants to order stuff you are on dodgy ground

Nbg · 21/04/2007 16:38

Just so you know FF, it takes a few weeks for it to get into action. So she will still get some things through the post.

The problem is if she keeps buying from the companies they will continue to send her things.

zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 16:40

you have to convince her that she is wasting money but she may well not appreciate your efforts

Original poster
fireflyfairy2 · 21/04/2007 16:48

She says she has nothing else to do and "It passes the time" Seems a strange way to pass the time!

OP posts:
zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 16:50

I think if she knows what she is doing and doesn't want to stop then you can't interfere

even if you want to

it is her right to waste money the same as it is yours

happybiggirl · 21/04/2007 16:51

Message withdrawn

Carmenere · 21/04/2007 16:59

Get her a Lakeland catalogue. Seriously. If she enjoys catalogue shopping she may as well buy things that are useful.

Basically the thing is that she needs to be looked after and if that means filtering her post so be it. Someone needs to do it. Would she notice if the things she 'ordered' diddn't arrive?

zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 17:10

does she need to be looked after though?

or is she really doing the same as lots of people who buy stuff they don't need?

she sounds quite mentally able from the posts

zippitippitoes · 21/04/2007 17:13

you could suggest a budget to her and open an account with a certain amount of money put in each month..but only if she is willing

hayes · 21/04/2007 17:13

how about getting her to agree to redirect her mail to you then you could fish out the undesirables?
Its a shame - does she get out to the shops much?

Carmenere · 21/04/2007 17:14

I suppose Zippi is right. Mil's house is chock-a-full of crap that she buys from Car-boot sales. She is well off but mean as feck so I know she is not frittering away money. But she still buys tons of stuff she doesn't need. I suppose we may worry more if the stuf she bought was more expensive.

hayes · 21/04/2007 17:14

also do you think she has dementia? My gran was ordering things from book clubs and denying all knowledge until the company sent me copies of her orders with her sig!

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