Need advice....and please don't lecture me about what a bad idea it is to do business with friends.....

[Earlybird]

Need perspective, opinions and advice please.

The bathrooms at my flat need redoing. I had someone in to give a quote for retiling and repainting over the Easter break while dd and I were away. When my dear longterm friend found out what about the job (he is a property developer), he volunteered to have his architect/designer/crew do the work. They gave a quote which was extremely reasonable and included completely redoing the bathrooms for not much more than the tiling/painting job (real mates rates price) . My friend told me I'd be thrilled with the work. The only catch: I could have limited input at such a great price and needed to "trust" him and his crew to do a good job and make the right decisions. I saw some drawings of the plans, which we discussed (me requesting more storage which didn't feature in the drawings), gave him 75% of the money, and then I got on a plane.

We've been away a month and are due back Tuesday. I've spoken to my friend very briefly a few times, but he is always in a rush and can't talk (not unusual because he juggles a lot with work). Reassures me "it will be fine" and "don't worry". I sent him two lighthearted emails thinking he might give more information about how it's progressing, any issues, how it looks, etc. I got back replies with one word answers which basically tell me nothing. I asked if he or the architect or designer could send me a few digital photos. His reply: "perhaps".

We return to London this coming Tuesday. I got up at 6AM to call today (due to time zone differences of where I am atm) because I need to know if work is completed/if we can return to the flat (or need to find somewhere else to stay, and if so, for how long), if I need to arrange a cleaner to deal with construction dust, if my bed is still in the lounge, etc. I got him on his mobile and he was in a rush. Again "don't worry". I said "I'm not worried, I'm excited and just want to know what's happening". He: "I haven't seen it, but I know it will be fine because I trust these builders". Then he said he had to go because he was late for a meeting. So, again I am left with no information and I am NOT happy that he hasn't been over to visit the job (my flat is 3 minutes walk from his office, so not a major expedition).

I then called his wife (also my good friend) who was not in, and left a message saying basically: look I know you're in the middle, but can you give me any idea what's going on. I know the bathrooms will be great, but I'm worried that he hasn't seen them, and I'm worried that none of my requests have been integrated. Also need to know if the flat is fit for habitation or if we'll need to make other arrangements." No reply from her via phone or email - though she was in the room when I spoke to him this morning and shouted she'd call me tomorrow (Saturday).

How would you feel and what would you do?

I think you've done almost as much as you can tbh .. I might consider calling again and saying 'Look I need to know NOW if we can move back into flat or need to make other arrangements' in as joky a manner as you can

but really you're buggered aren't you .. he wants you to trust him, he trusts his builders BUT its your flat and money

maybe try to speak to him when he's not working?

where's your flat maybe an MNer can go round?

Does your block of flats have a caretaker? Do you have a neighbour you trust who may have a spare key? Any other friend who would nip round for a quick look?

Perhaps you should stop with the jokey emails and just send one saying that you need to know NOW whether you can move in on Tuesday. That sorting out alternative accommodation is not that simple if you don't have any advance notice. At the end of the day, he asked you to let him and his mates do the job, not the other way round and, if you were a "real" client of his, there is no way he would be brushing you off all the time.

you could always turn up on their doorstep if your flat is uninhabitable

Can you arrange a back up of somewhere to stay for if you get back and the place is uninhabitable? Then decide you'll just have to wait and see? He's being flaky, no doubt about it but since you don't want to push it I think either the above or freckle's idea is good.

I think not letting you see the plans etc is v rubbish though and doesn't compensate for mates rates if it turns out not to be what you want. But that's not a lecture, more an 'he's being an arse' comment.

Thanks for your comments. I am (always) quick to assume that I am the unreasonable one in a tense situation. It helps to have someone say 'he's being an arse'....even though it doesn't help, iykwim!

He is a good mate, who has very high professional standards so I know whatever is done will be beautiful and top quality. But, he probably should not have offered to do the job given the other work he's got going on - clearly he's been too pushed to oversee it. And, he hasn't given proper answers because he's not got answers to give. And that's at the core of what bothers me most - there has been no 'in progress' supervision. He made a point of saying he'd keep an eye on how things were progressing and adjust things as necessary. Now, I have a feeling that I'll have two bathrooms that look like they came from a show flat, or a hotel - ie, they look good, but might not be practical for day to day life.

I guess the good news is, he'd know if there had been a disaster....as the workmen would have called him to help them sort it out.

And yes....I probably shouldn't have done business with a friend. It's just that there are so many 'cowboy builder' nightmare scenarios, that this sounded a perfect solution. (sigh........)

EB I am sorry you got snared this way, 'cos it sounds like one of those Road to [somewhere] is Paved with Good Intentions (your friend's) - though wouldn't it be lovely if when you get back (today?) you have a glorious surprise? Let us know!

PS check your email