I have just tipped four drawers of rubbish in the bin

[fairyfly]

and i feel shitty and need to know it wasn't a stupid thing to do. I know they had love letters, poems, photos in but i haven't looked in them for a year. It was also full of old bills and basically crap. I started to go through it and realised i would spend the entire day reminiscing and maudling. Should i have kept these things to show my kids, will i regret not having any of the gorgeous letters i recieved. Please help me justify my actions. Shouldn't i have kept keepsakes to show my kids there father did love me once, god i rambling, help!!!!!!!

Thanks fio, you find all a bit....?

bit

i have my mum and dads wedding photos and I say say doesnt my mum look pretty and just ignore the fact that my awful dad is standing next to her!

Keep them and then me, you and wobbly can have a ritual bombfire and burn the fuckers stuff!!

Hubble Bubble Toil and Trouble ...........

twinkie - sounds like a very good idea!!! We can all read each others before burning them and laugh at how insincere they sound!!

I think this is a good sign. It's all part of the healing process, showing that you are ready to let go of the past and look to the future. Your kids don't need evidence that their dad once loved you. They are evidence in themselves and they will believe you when you tell them the truth.

I don't think you'll be crying later, I think this will make you feel stronger.

(by the way it's janstar, changed my name.)

That sounds like a cool meet up! Who dares to post it on the meet ups list? What will you call the meet up?! Must get off the internet and do some work ...

twinkie, I think you will find there are more than three weird sisters who would like to join in a meet-up like that.

I would. I've still got my ex's letters in the loft - only because I don't want to touch them to get rid of them. I'd burn them and laugh.

tac - I dare!!!

LOOK HERE - PMSL!!!

Haven't read whole thread, so I apologise if I reapeat some advice, but I think you did the right thing. If you've not look at the stuff for a year, then you won't miss it on the long run. Don't fret about it. It's gone and nothing has changed. Go wild, throw some more stuff away! It's very liberating!

Okay, don't know if anyone else has already said this as I haven'r had time to read all the messages but, keep the stuff if you want to rather than for your children. I acnnot imagine that there are that many children who are genuinely interested in their parents old love letters - many children would probably run in the opposite direction!

I know sometimes as adults, people are interested in their parents love letters etc but this tends to be when the parent is very ill or has died and I'd rather that my son's memories of me were of as he knew me rather than a different persona altogether.

Thanks i feel better and i am glad it is a good sign. A great weight was lifted off my shoulder last weekend, i never thought i would meet someone i would be so physically attracted to or laugh with as much as my x. Then i did. I will never see the person again but that doesn't matter in the slightest i now know that my x is not the only man in the world i can fancy or get on with. i was getting concerned he was.
I am ready to let go, i really can for the first time say and actually mean it, i don't want him back. I am very excited about the future, hence creating a new nest for better times.
So sod it the bin bags can stay outside, and so can the fucker, as Twinkie so effectively described him.

It's really hard to do. I did it a while ago for the first time and my DH couldn't understand why I was finding it soooooo difficult. It was really awful having no-one understand.

In your circumstances agree with missdee then again only you know what to do for the best in your circumstances.

Sympthetic hug aimed at you right now

you're very brave fairyfly. ive got a huge metal box full of stuff like that and i just cannot let go of it. i think about it but thats as far as it gets!