I think my son is gifted and I'm gutted

[ifihadonlyknown]

Ds was born with head and neck control so didn't really bat an eyelid when he rolled, crawled and sat unaided really early. All of these by 4.5 months but he was just a big, strong boy. At 6 months I'm starting to think he's mentally a bit advanced and I'm panicking a bit. Firstly, IU will give a couple examples of what he's been up to:
1)Using a spoon, properly. Feeds himself better than my daughter could at two.
2)Mastered the shape-sorter- again daughter was nearly two.
3)'Roared' and 'growled' at the dinosaurs and animals at the Natural History museum last week. much to the amusement of the extended family we went with.
4)'gets' tv programs. Watches intently making appropriate facial expressions according to whats going on and laughing at the funny stuff.
5) invited himself to join a colouring session. Spent time selecting crayons from the artbox before carefully making a series of lines on the paper. Other child was mortified and ushered him away but I think he would have enjoyed 'drawing' more.
6)Tidying up. He has his own soft play. The little plastic balls get bloody everywhere. Caught him picking them up and putting them back in the pool.
Just to clarify, he attends nursery 2 full days per week and he's the youngest by 6 months in his class. His keyworker constantly harps on about how clever he is and trying to keep up with the toddlers.
The reason I'm unhappy about this is that I was 'bright' in a similar way and apparently speaking in sentences by a year. By the time I joined reception I was reading a 'goosebumps' book cover to cover in a week. I was shamed by my teacher for bringing in a drawing of a tudor house (homework) and she forced me to redraw it in front of the class to prove it was my own work. I was bullied and ostracised and called a freak. I saved all my pocket, birthday and Christmas money for 2 years to buy a ticket to Scotland so I wouldn't have to go back to school. I withdrew totally and hated school because of this. I was delighted my daughter was average and normal. I'm terrified that my boy will be unhappy like me.

One of my DC was the same, I even noticed the same things.My DC is still very bright and at a very selective school and its not unusual at all to be that level. I think your personal experiences were very unusual and you should put it to one side and enjoy your boy.

We treated my DS like any other child, and concentrated on social and sporty skills rather than pushing the academics which he picked up very quickly when the time was right. He's now a happy, well rounded teenager, which of course is the aim.

paddling-Thank you. I know my teacher was an arsehole and the school was bad, there was still some racism and the special needs kids were treated like crap too. I guess no one was allowed to be different. It's lovely to hear your boy is doing so well. Do you think that choosing the right school is the key to avoiding the bullies? And I totally plan on him having fun and enjoying sports. I hated that 'child genius' thing on the telly. Those little kids were so sad :( I waited 15 years and 12 MC's to get my little man, he's worshipped and his happiness is my absolute priority.

It sounds like he has very good hand eye coordination, I'd get him some wooden puzzles if he hasn't already got some. He sounds like he'd enjoy them. Th

Pressed send too quickly! I wouldn't worry too much about the gifted stuff at this stage, just enjoy him

I'm so sorry you've had negative experiences. Try not to project them on to your DS - accept him for who he is, support him and enjoy these wonderful years.

Are you sure you are gifted? He will be fine. Ultimately a lot of early bloomers I knew actually ended up being very average. Other late bloomers turned out to be unlikely geniuses. The vast majority of people end up being average. If you are above average then that can only be a good thing. Regardless of whether he ends up being ahead or behind when he starts school, so long as you send him to a good school, it shouldn't really make a difference to his happiness. Instead of being disappointed about who he is maybe you should try to encourage him to develop his advanced intellect so that he reaches the height of his potential? your attitude will only make him feel worse if you let it show.

He does sound very clever OP. All that is pretty impressive.
I can relate to what you say as i was a "gifted child" and felt very out of place. It wasn't really acceptable for me to be as bright as i was. I had a hard time finding my place in the world.
I can also relate to feeling glad my children are average.

All this is a long way in the future, but i think you just have to be very on the ball about his education. I think schools in general are more nurturing places than they were in our day. You can also be more proactive than your own parents were.
Promise yourself you won't ever make him stay in an environment that makes him unhappy. And stick to that.

"Are you sure you are gifted?"

I don't think OP ever claimed that.
But well done for sticking the boot in to someone who's just opened up about a difficult experiance.

Thanks all for very good points. I just want him to be happy that's all. Hearing from others with similar experiences is the best therapy for a worried mind. I will focus purely on his happiness and choose his school carefully. It's going to be okay. My childhood went very, very badly wrong and I had an impressive coke habit and a 35 yr old boyfriend at 15 so I obviously worry a lot about my children and their sense of happiness and self worth.

I think these days I would have been lumped in the "gifted" pile. My mum and dad and school were brilliant about it though, I got extra work to keep my mind busy and mum always told me she didn't care about grades, only that I tried my best. And there were no rewards for good exam grades etc. I guess what I am trying to say is being gifted doesn't mean things will turn out like they did for you at school.

You are in a singularly useful position of knowing how it can go wrong re self confidence, fitting in etc. Use that knowledge to your DS's advantage and there is no reason why he won't flourish.

Don't worry too much about the gifted label so young. Enjoy him, have fun, play, buy him puzzles and things he will enjoy but don't get hung up on a label. He's six months old.

I don't know, tbh. My ds is gifted in very narrow way. He was counting backwards from 986 or whatever when he was 16 months old in his sleep. His reading(decoding) age was mid teens when he started school. He is very happy, slightly quirky child with skewed interest.
Every health professionals commented on his alertness as a baby, but didn't think anything of it. He had no baby talk, he had very clear speech from when he started talking, but stopped talking to other children for couple of years in nursery.
Now he is very happy 9 year old, and still very academic but enjoys other things too. Teachers, especially in nursery and reception was wonderful, and never been treated like you say.

I didn't think 6 month olds had the fine motor skills to properly hold a crayon?

He sounds lovely and definitely is doing things my 7 month old doesn't. She can't spoon-feed herself at all. She does laugh, growl, make expressions, and move objects, though, and she's been doing these things for a good month. This is not unusual.

When my DD was four months, we took her to a family wedding and my dad made an utter tit of himself by insisting his granddaughter was on the verge of speaking because she said 'hiya'. Or, to be accurate, screeched something that sounded vaguely like 'hhhhhyrrra'. I'm not about to mock him too much because I know responding to a child who does something totally accidental/experimental as if they did something deliberate, is important for their learning. So they do a random hand movement and you do 'ooh, yay, you waved, brilliant!'

I suspect at this age it's all about how you respond to them. They'll all be learning different things - so a child who does loads of stuff at six months isn't likely to be 'ahead' of a child who appears to be sitting quietly and taking it all in.

FWIW, too, I was a super-thick child and had an unhappy time at school, so, you know, it can happen to us all.

I was v bright and got teased about it at school. My DC are similar and it hasn’t been a problem (yet - eldest is 12). Maybe it’s the school (they’re at a nice little village primary whereas I was at a big London school) or maybe things have changed for the better in that respect. Try not to worry OP.

Being "clever" can be hard, and I understand that you're concerned. I was a bit like you - a total prodigy in primary school, and a hopeless drop out by the age of 21.

My sons are on the bright side of average, and I am so relieved! !

Don't worry though, and do try not to project your own experiences onto your infant son. He will be fine, you will be such a support to him, and you are aware of the pitfalls. ..